End of World Screenplay Idea! FEEDBACK!

M

mattspat

Well-known member
Okay so I just came up with this and jotted this down as quick as I could so I didnt forget.

Let me know what you think....

Scene opens with two guys in their mid twenties frantically trying to bury a very secure chained up wooden box with green light escaping from the spaces between the wooden planks. Scene is in the early 1900's during the great depression.

Next scene. Takes place in modern time. Guy is walking through a park/forest gets jumped as he falls he smokes his head on a corner of this box portruding from the ground and gets knocked out. Wake up late curious about it, digs it up bring it back to his garage and clips off the lock. Only to expose unbearable green rays that fill the room. He turns his head away and goes to grab it. As his fingers touch it the green light dissappears and there is nothing in the box.

From there on in he slowly begins to realizes everything around him is slowly dying (build up from plants --> eventually evolves into his loved ones dying).

*Would the flowers dying be too hard to edit?*
*What do you think about the overall story concept?*
*Is it a twilight feel or end of the world feel?*


Random ideas
--> complaint is called to police they come to house and barg in drop dead.
-> watching news reporter on the tv talking about the pandemic
 
Last edited:
cut to pre historic times --> two guys dressed in old fashioned clothes
Click to expand...

You mean something like two men from say the 19th century, in pre-historic times? Like the time-traveled there?
 
Here is a slightly more detailed version:

Scene opens with two guys in their mid twenties frantically trying to bury a very secure chained up wooden box with green light escaping from the spaces between the wooden planks. Scene is in the early 1900's during the great depression.

Next scene. Takes place in modern time. Guy is walking through a park/forest gets jumped as he falls he smokes his head on a corner of this box portruding from the ground and gets knocked out. Wake up late curious about it, digs it up bring it back to his garage and clips off the lock. Only to expose unbearable green rays that fill the room. He turns his head away and goes to grab it. As his fingers touch it the green light dissappears and there is nothing in the box.

From there on in he slowly begins to realizes everything around him is slowly dying (build up from plants --> eventually evolves into his loved ones dying).

*Would the flowers dying be too hard to edit?*
*What do you think about the overall story concept?*
*Is it a twilight feel or end of the world feel?*
 
I don't know how they did it, nor have I researched it, but remember in ET, when the plant withers and dies, then comes back to life? You should see how they did that.

Maybe try composting timelapse (in a light controlled area of course, w/ no wind etc) footage?

P.S: The audience is going to demand some explanation of what is in the box. I couldn't stop thinking that this was an odd combination of the jumanji box, with 'the mask' inside... or green lanterns ring. :)
 
hahaha SH*T I was hoping the beginning wasn't going to seem like Jumanji. Oh welll maybe I can think of something else....but yeah the time lapse thing is a sweet idea.

Keep em comming
 
haha i mean, it sounds kind of random...where did this come from? what is it? you need to at least completely have a solid understanding of what it is, even if you aren't telling the audience right away. like you NEED to have an explanation planned...otherwise your writing will not be planned enough and the thing will evolve beyond your original idea...past what you wanted
 
Alright, I understand what you're getting at. But like WAB said, is there a reason behind it? What's in the box? Are you trying to get at something that everything around him is dying? Was he previously a criminal, or just a negative person in general, and this is sort of the physical manifestation of what he did previously to those around him?

Sounds like the idea could go places but I have to hear some more. I just wonder what the conflict is and how he'll be able to speak with other people. But hey, finding ways around problems like that are where the real good ideas come from.

EDIT: Oh and I did not really get an end-of-the-world vibe. Doesn't seem like there's much to worry about for people outside of this dude's vicinity.
 
I think the second scene was kind of random, he gets jumped in the woods and hits his head on a box in the ground?
I think you could introduce the couple walking on land and have the guy promising the love of his life that he will build a house on it within the next year. Soon after that we see the guy working with a crew of maybe 5 other guys doing work on the land like using a backhoe and/or bobcat to take out trees and grass and the guy is called because their is an aged box a couple feet into the ground. The guy along with another fellow haul the box into the back of the main guys truck and finish out the work on the land. Once at the apartment where he currently resides with his fiance, he looks at the box in the back of his truck and says, "I'll be back for you", not wanting to bring any attention good or bad to the land where the house will be. The next day when his fiance goes to work he brings the box inside the apartment and places it in the guestroom where he opens it and finds the green light filling the room. With the light blinding him he tries to close the box shut and when he finally does the room goes back to normal. Curious, he cracks the box slightly open to see if the light will show and when he finds nothing, he opens the box more and more until he stands staring into an empty box.

The rest of the movie could have scenes where:

The guy tells his fiance his eyes have changed colors to green from blue.

He feels really sick when he eats or drinks anything since the food basically goes bad as it enters his body, due to the "green" that he consumed himself with when he first opened the box

You could make the main character a botany major who is in the 4th month of a 6th month plant experiment where everything was going completely fine with the project before the "green" and all of a sudden everything with the plant begins to fail. This would show how everything is negatively affected by the green light.

There could be a scene where a doctor is telling the guy that there is nothing wrong with him after doing the basic tests, and the guy tells the doctor about the green light incident. A CAT scan is done after that and shows a green spot in his brain finds that there is only one other case that is similiar. The case of a poor guy from the great depression.

The guy could do research on the guy by looking up records and searching for family members when he learns that he commited suicide because of all the problems he was going through. People suffered from the economy and just had to live through it all but he produced a chemical that could end all of his problems and accidentally ending other peoples lives in the process that came in touch with the "green" he created.

Yeah i dont know i just kind of started writing and couldnt stop...

it has potential definately keep working on it and just come out with a great story.

keep us updated!
 
It's a good premise but the trick will be the payoff. What's causing the end of days? That's a tough one because other writers have been there, and died there -- most recently by the forgettable "The Happening".
 
so true, the problem with an end of the world theme is that people want to see the world end with such great expectations, so anything slightly below the level of expectation is a failure, unfortuantly.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top