Need Help With A Couple Of Scenes That I Am Writing

E

eddie777

Member
I need help with a couple of scenes that I am writing where a serial killer sends his victim a letter before he kills them. rather than show what's on the actual letter or have a voice over narrating the letter should I just imply what's on the letter by the hoororfied expressions on their face and reactions as they are reading it? Which would make more of an impact on screen and on the script?
Thanks,
Eddie
 
If filmed well and the pattern has already been established of the killer, just the expression could work much better in the movie. However, if just in screenplay form it might be tuff to get as strong of an effect. I would have to see the scene and the screenplay to know for sure.

I would imagine that writing it you certainly couldn't get away with just writing "A horrified look appears on her face as she reads the letter." You would really have to sell the line and give the reader as much room to imagine the worst as possible. "She reads the letter while mumbling to herself. Slowly a look of horror sweeps across her face that would make the Devil himself terrified to watch and make any being's, mortal or otherwise, blood run colder than the dark side of the moon." Maybe a bit much but you get my point.
 
At some point do you let the audience in on what was on the letter...by showing the letter or someone reading it (homicide investigator)? If the letter is so shocking maybe your victim actually dies from reading it...that would be a shocking letter...and think of the masses of people this serial killer could wipe out.

As for writing it...stick with the actions taken by the reader of the letter. What are their reactions? Do they leap off the couch and jump off the balcony. Or do they simply read it and show it on their face. Give them an action more than a facial gesture.
 
What happens next? A smart person would immediately call the cops. Do they arrive before the killer dispatches the victim? If so, then conversation between the victim and the cop could illuminate what the letter contains without having the recite it verbatim.
 
I would do flashes of scenes depicting what is in the letter i.e. if he is writing about strangling her cut to scenes of it happening or if he talks about stalking get extra shots on earlier shoots maybe from outside a window (make sure it is a scene that will be remembered) use flashes maybe twitch plug in for ae. Use film texture or anything to make it look grungy. I would also maybe put in some fitting music or a heart beat. Maybe cut to tears running her eyeliner. A slow motion shot of the letter falling to the floor and then shots of her locking all the locks on the front door. Then cut the music and take it from there.
 
I decided to show what's on the letter. It is usally one to a couple of sentence worded in a way that has a double meaning, but in a way that is doesn't incriminate the person sending the note, plus I added the element of sometimes having the killer send a "gift" with the note related to the theme of the note. How does that sound?
 
I think you'll need to show the first letter, to establish the pattern. And make it physically distinctive, e.g. on pink and green striped paper and written in purple ink or whatever. Then when the audience sees later victims also receiving visually similar letters, they'll understand the victims' reaction without needing to see the letter contents.
 
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