Help me come up with an ending
- Thread starter c.g._eads
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RallyMonkey
Active member
He tells the children some heroic story of how he lost his hand saving another's life, only to find it was chopped off after shoplifting in a small country.
David W. Richardson
Chapelgrove Films
David W. Richardson
Chapelgrove Films
He can occasionally wax philosophic about having been a great 'artist', but having his dreams shattered by the accident (or whatever.) Never letting on that his 'art' was music, not painting.
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David W. Richardson
Chapelgrove Films
Chap...Same speices I presume? Mine`s a K9 *****.
Back to story...What is it you want the boy to discover? what is the significance of that discovery? That revelation should somehow trigger that moment in fact your choice of what you want to happen with the boy is what will determine the right choice that will support that effect.
Back to story...What is it you want the boy to discover? what is the significance of that discovery? That revelation should somehow trigger that moment in fact your choice of what you want to happen with the boy is what will determine the right choice that will support that effect.
David W. Richardson
Chapelgrove Films
It seems to me the moral of the story is to follow your heart -- that doing the 'safe' thing, the thing that's 'expected', can lead to a lifetime of regret. Who knows what the future holds? Live for today and be who you want to be while you can.
It would be very helpful if we knew more about the main story itself -- the main characters and what their arcs are supposed to be.
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It would be very helpful if we knew more about the main story itself -- the main characters and what their arcs are supposed to be.
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Everybody, thanks for the suggestions so far. Keep them coming. Really, anything you think of helps. I'm already looking at this character in another way.
DogDay, that's a good question. Unfortunately, his true discovery that helps him complete his arc is explored through his relationship with the girl. So by this point in the story, he's already figured everything out. The revelation with the Old Man character is supposed to be that cherry on top. You think the movie's over. You're satisfied. And yet there's that one last thing we reveal. So yeah, it's a little tricky.
DogDay, that's a good question. Unfortunately, his true discovery that helps him complete his arc is explored through his relationship with the girl. So by this point in the story, he's already figured everything out. The revelation with the Old Man character is supposed to be that cherry on top. You think the movie's over. You're satisfied. And yet there's that one last thing we reveal. So yeah, it's a little tricky.
Yes some more conditions would help narrow down the focus and point in a more specific direction that would serve the story more because this can go on and on forever without some more peramiters.
Find some questions to ask that will help flesh it out.
Also the choices of how the hand gets injured will be conditioned by these factors.
What is the theme?
What is the subject?
What is the point of view?
What is the premise?
Find some questions to ask that will help flesh it out.
Also the choices of how the hand gets injured will be conditioned by these factors.
What is the theme?
What is the subject?
What is the point of view?
What is the premise?
Chapel, you pretty much nailed it. That's what the moral is.
The movie is about two people - a boy and a girl - who we watch fall in love over 60 years. But they only see each other at this summer community every five years or so. Each time they meet again, they're different, more grown up, think they have the world figured out. And even though they fall in love, the timing's never quite right (he's with someone or she's with someone - and of course they can never be together because they live on opposite sides of the country) Until it finally gets to the point where he's married with children (having given up on writing and instead choosing a more "practical" path) and she's all alone (yet a very successful painter).
During the movie, the two constantly struggle trying to figure out which path to choose. Early on, in their 20s, it's him pushing her to pursue painting. Then in their 30s, he's since given up and she's now convincing him to go back to writing. It's sort of the subplot to the love story of two people who, although they are in love, will never be together because of the cruelty of timing.
In their 40s, now that he has the good job, the wife, the kids, he feels like he's made a mistake. That he should've pursued writing. She makes this her last ditch effort to get him to leave with her - to go off and pursue those dreams, just like they always talked about. He almost does but in the end decides to stay loyal to his family. The movie concludes 20 years later after her death - which is the reason he's come back up here - to "say goodbye" (the movie takes place as one big flashback from the present). He of course finds a few new secrets about her along the way. And the aforementioned secrets about the Old Man as well.
The Old Man plays that mentor role to both of them - always pushing them to "create" - to pursue art and expression.
The movie plays out in tone as a cross between The Notebook and Great Expectations.
Hope that's enough.
The movie is about two people - a boy and a girl - who we watch fall in love over 60 years. But they only see each other at this summer community every five years or so. Each time they meet again, they're different, more grown up, think they have the world figured out. And even though they fall in love, the timing's never quite right (he's with someone or she's with someone - and of course they can never be together because they live on opposite sides of the country) Until it finally gets to the point where he's married with children (having given up on writing and instead choosing a more "practical" path) and she's all alone (yet a very successful painter).
During the movie, the two constantly struggle trying to figure out which path to choose. Early on, in their 20s, it's him pushing her to pursue painting. Then in their 30s, he's since given up and she's now convincing him to go back to writing. It's sort of the subplot to the love story of two people who, although they are in love, will never be together because of the cruelty of timing.
In their 40s, now that he has the good job, the wife, the kids, he feels like he's made a mistake. That he should've pursued writing. She makes this her last ditch effort to get him to leave with her - to go off and pursue those dreams, just like they always talked about. He almost does but in the end decides to stay loyal to his family. The movie concludes 20 years later after her death - which is the reason he's come back up here - to "say goodbye" (the movie takes place as one big flashback from the present). He of course finds a few new secrets about her along the way. And the aforementioned secrets about the Old Man as well.
The Old Man plays that mentor role to both of them - always pushing them to "create" - to pursue art and expression.
The movie plays out in tone as a cross between The Notebook and Great Expectations.
Hope that's enough.
Cheery on top for who? WE care most about which characters? The boy and girl=yes? If so after following them and having their crisis resolved etc why shift focus to the old man if it doesnt somehow play a part in something not complete?
You say at this point the boy is an old man? is he involved with the girl? is she old or sick or dead? do they now have kids? If so then perhaps the lesson learned by the revealation will be applicable to one of those other relationships somehow....For it to have significant value it has to have a function in their lives otherwise it wont have that punch but maybe it doesnt have to be a punch it might be some wistful insight and the end of a chapter in their lives.
You say at this point the boy is an old man? is he involved with the girl? is she old or sick or dead? do they now have kids? If so then perhaps the lesson learned by the revealation will be applicable to one of those other relationships somehow....For it to have significant value it has to have a function in their lives otherwise it wont have that punch but maybe it doesnt have to be a punch it might be some wistful insight and the end of a chapter in their lives.
C.G. All of sudden it became very clear and very interesting...A complex drama...Tough to do...A very solid base to build on.
What are those secrets you mentioned or are they secret? Do you know what they are or is it gaps that need filling? You really have to build against them for the secrets to have an power of spinning things around, shattering or enlightening "Information" has to be a surprise a big one at that and to do that we have to be set up to expect something else...So yes its fitting you bring up "Great expectations"
My gut tells me that the secret about the mentor should come earlier and maybe have an impact on the both of them and that the last cherry thing should be between him and the woman he made those sacrifices for...was she really worth it or was it a case of him being a coward?
The forces that attract the boy and the girl have to be so strong and the forces separating them also must be as strong if its a love story with some what of a bitter sweet fateful tone...Or are you going for a more Woody Allenesk The irony of circumstances approach?
What are those secrets you mentioned or are they secret? Do you know what they are or is it gaps that need filling? You really have to build against them for the secrets to have an power of spinning things around, shattering or enlightening "Information" has to be a surprise a big one at that and to do that we have to be set up to expect something else...So yes its fitting you bring up "Great expectations"
My gut tells me that the secret about the mentor should come earlier and maybe have an impact on the both of them and that the last cherry thing should be between him and the woman he made those sacrifices for...was she really worth it or was it a case of him being a coward?
The forces that attract the boy and the girl have to be so strong and the forces separating them also must be as strong if its a love story with some what of a bitter sweet fateful tone...Or are you going for a more Woody Allenesk The irony of circumstances approach?
As I see it on the one ( hand ) it is about chances and opportunities and possibilities, on the other ( hand ) missed chances inability to make the most or even something out of opportunities and the negation of possibilities "Too Late" "Now or never" "Missing the boat"
When the boy is going back in time mentally his action is "To reminisce" I suspect it is some what painful and most likely awakens feelings of guilt toward his wife and also remorse over his unrealized dreams and ambitions and regret over the unfulfilled promise of "What could have been with Miss Right" ... If you don`t want him to kill himself after that you better have him find something that will empower him enough to embrace the life he has and make him see it as a plus, it has to reverse his perception of things.
Now what could that be?
It might be from the old mentor but has to be about the girl or it could be from the girl and be about his wife...But about life in general or about art blah blah blah or about the old handless dead mentor wont salvage this boys life if you want it to end with some light.
He has to see his wife and family in a different light that would imply that he had indeed made the right choice all along. Maybe if he discovers that all the girl ever wanted was what he had all along and that in the end all the success meant nothing without someone close to share it with...anyone.
When the boy is going back in time mentally his action is "To reminisce" I suspect it is some what painful and most likely awakens feelings of guilt toward his wife and also remorse over his unrealized dreams and ambitions and regret over the unfulfilled promise of "What could have been with Miss Right" ... If you don`t want him to kill himself after that you better have him find something that will empower him enough to embrace the life he has and make him see it as a plus, it has to reverse his perception of things.
Now what could that be?
It might be from the old mentor but has to be about the girl or it could be from the girl and be about his wife...But about life in general or about art blah blah blah or about the old handless dead mentor wont salvage this boys life if you want it to end with some light.
He has to see his wife and family in a different light that would imply that he had indeed made the right choice all along. Maybe if he discovers that all the girl ever wanted was what he had all along and that in the end all the success meant nothing without someone close to share it with...anyone.
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Actually he is a hero for his wife if she only knew what temptation he resisted to be loyal ... all women know when you have something on the side going on but as long as they know that they are the ones who really own you its not worth wrecking the home over it...that is if you have a woman cut out for the long haul but not all women nor men are cut out for that especially most artist types since it is so egocentric and demanding to give yourself completely to your work and have something over for anything let alone a full time relationship...That takes super human devotion, I think its called true love.
David W. Richardson
Chapelgrove Films
Interesting thoughts, DogDay.
Here's the question I have...... If the two really love each other, then what exactly is keeping them apart? I mean, prior to the man getting married and having kids. C.G. says they live on opposite sides of the country, but so what? Once they're adults, what's stopping them from packing up and moving so they can be together?
It doesn't seem so much to me like a 'missed opportunity' as a 'well, I had the opportunity, but it wasn't important enough to me to act on it.' I feel like there needs to be some more compelling reason that keeps these two apart.
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Here's the question I have...... If the two really love each other, then what exactly is keeping them apart? I mean, prior to the man getting married and having kids. C.G. says they live on opposite sides of the country, but so what? Once they're adults, what's stopping them from packing up and moving so they can be together?
It doesn't seem so much to me like a 'missed opportunity' as a 'well, I had the opportunity, but it wasn't important enough to me to act on it.' I feel like there needs to be some more compelling reason that keeps these two apart.
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Chris its ... brighteye_55@hotmail.com
hey chapel,
I actually took great care to make sure that there was always something very real keeping them apart. I've listed the ages the movie takes place in and the reason they can't be together.
Age 6 - obvious
Age 8 - obvious
Age 10 - obvious
Age 14 - They live on opposite sides of the country
Age 24 - She's engaged.
Age 30 - He's married.
Age 39 - He's married with two kids.
Age 67 (this is the present where she has passed away)
I think those are pretty solid reasons for why they can't be together.
I actually took great care to make sure that there was always something very real keeping them apart. I've listed the ages the movie takes place in and the reason they can't be together.
Age 6 - obvious
Age 8 - obvious
Age 10 - obvious
Age 14 - They live on opposite sides of the country
Age 24 - She's engaged.
Age 30 - He's married.
Age 39 - He's married with two kids.
Age 67 (this is the present where she has passed away)
I think those are pretty solid reasons for why they can't be together.