Bionic Woman

marketmd said:
As horrible as the BW pilot was, it won the night! BW beat "Grays Anatomy" spinoff "Private Practice" to be the #1 rated show of the evening.
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We all know ratings for a first episode (like a first week for a feature film) mean nothing. It's the following episodes/weeks. Just means they have a "name" and had good promotion.

Just saw the pilot. Lead is pretty hot. Great casting with Katee. But my god, what awful dialog! I wish I could have slapped the writers in the face and written the dialog myself. That scene between Katee and the new bionic woman, my god. I wanted to forget that Katee ever took part in such a god awful scene. "so I did it myself. Then I cut out my chest. I took out every part of me that held me back". WTF!?! All the phrases after the fighting, the "time out" bit. "Tails you lose, heads you die". Who's writing this thing!?! If it's by the same people that make BSG, they better get some of the writers from BSG and put together some good episodes, or I'm walking.
 
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This show will not make it past week 8. It is utterly and entirely awful. First of all, just the concept itself is flawed. A "bionic woman"??? Who the F cares??

For those not initiated, here's how it works. Networks/Studios are terrified of original material. Not only because it doesn't register on the national awareness scale, but because of legal fears. The writer of the piece may "say" it's original. But what happens 9 months down the line when the movie/series becomes a hit? 12 people come of nowhere and say the writer stole their idea. The next thing you know, the network's being sued for 20 million dollars. In order to avoid this potential castastrophe, networks/studios dive into their coffers and search for previous franchises they can update. This way, there's no chance in hell someone can say it's their idea. You just point to the previous series and say, "Oh really? Then what's this??"

This brings us to Bionic Woman. As these network "experts" pour periously through the NBC archives, they search for things not, ahem, that they can turn into great shows. But rather things they can, drum roll please.... SELL. Things that the networks will likely say yes to. So they see the success of Lost. They see the success of Heroes. And they say......... SCI-FI!!! "Sci-Fi works". So they look for past network shows that have ANY semblance at all to science fiction. What comes up? BIONIC WOMAN. Bionic-f'ing-woman. The dumbest freaking sounding show in the entire universe. But they know they can sell it. So they go in. They assure the networks they're not going to get sued. That the nation loves sci-fi. And VOILA. An incredibly stupid series is born.

Now at THIS point, when these guys actually get the greenlight... THAT'S when they freak out. They realize, "oh my god. We actually have to create a show out of this." So they begin trying to write "Bionic Woman". Yes...... You heard that right.... A show... about a bionic.......... woman............. WHAT????

And although I don't feel sorry for these guys AT ALL (why should I? They're the ones that signed a deal with the devil and sold this thing), their goal is impossible. There is NOTHING you can do with Bionic Woman. The title alone sounds cheesy and stupid. So they try and write a show about a bionic woman. And what do they come up with? ????

Are you ready for this?

A guy..... whose girlfriend gets in a car accident.... SO HE GIVES HER BIONIC LEGS, AN ARM, AND AN EYE!!! WHAAAT? Does this make ANY sense to you. If your significant other were in an accident and were going to lose all of their limbs, would you, say, give them 4 ordinary limbs? Oh no, of course not. You'd make those limbs SUPER-LIMBS, so as to immediately grant your significant other superhero abilities.

It makes absolutely no sense. And that is why this pilot failed so spectacularly. It's not because the villian is more interesting than the heroine - which all the reviewers seem to obsess about. The villian is almost always more interesting than the hero. It's because the premise doesn't stand up. It doesn't make sense on any sort of real-world level. And that's why this show will die. And why I will never watch it again. And why you shouldn't either.
 
c.g._eads said:
And why I will never watch it again. And why you shouldn't either.
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I actually loved the original Bionic Woman (and of course the 6MDM) even though the plots got increasingly fantastic and unbelievable. I think it was because Lindsay Wagner was a gifted actress who was able to alternatively convey emotion and humor, and had writers who allowed her to explore her talents. Does this new actress have such talents? We will never find out. One, because the central plot is so absurd and stupid that it consumes our attention; and Two, because the writing itself is so utterly robotic and wooden that it permits no room for character exploration or ad libbing.
 
c.g._eads said:
This show will not make it past week 8. It is utterly and entirely awful. First of all, just the concept itself is flawed. A "bionic woman"??? Who the F cares??

For those not initiated, here's how it works. Networks/Studios are terrified of original material. Not only because it doesn't register on the national awareness scale, but because of legal fears. The writer of the piece may "say" it's original. But what happens 9 months down the line when the movie/series becomes a hit? 12 people come of nowhere and say the writer stole their idea. The next thing you know, the network's being sued for 20 million dollars. In order to avoid this potential castastrophe, networks/studios dive into their coffers and search for previous franchises they can update. This way, there's no chance in hell someone can say it's their idea. You just point to the previous series and say, "Oh really? Then what's this??"

This brings us to Bionic Woman. As these network "experts" pour periously through the NBC archives, they search for things not, ahem, that they can turn into great shows. But rather things they can, drum roll please.... SELL. Things that the networks will likely say yes to. So they see the success of Lost. They see the success of Heroes. And they say......... SCI-FI!!! "Sci-Fi works". So they look for past network shows that have ANY semblance at all to science fiction. What comes up? BIONIC WOMAN. Bionic-f'ing-woman. The dumbest freaking sounding show in the entire universe. But they know they can sell it. So they go in. They assure the networks they're not going to get sued. That the nation loves sci-fi. And VOILA. An incredibly stupid series is born.

Now at THIS point, when these guys actually get the greenlight... THAT'S when they freak out. They realize, "oh my god. We actually have to create a show out of this." So they begin trying to write "Bionic Woman". Yes...... You heard that right.... A show... about a bionic.......... woman............. WHAT????

And although I don't feel sorry for these guys AT ALL (why should I? They're the ones that signed a deal with the devil and sold this thing), their goal is impossible. There is NOTHING you can do with Bionic Woman. The title alone sounds cheesy and stupid. So they try and write a show about a bionic woman. And what do they come up with? ????

Are you ready for this?

A guy..... whose girlfriend gets in a car accident.... SO HE GIVES HER BIONIC LEGS, AN ARM, AND AN EYE!!! WHAAAT? Does this make ANY sense to you. If your significant other were in an accident and were going to lose all of their limbs, would you, say, give them 4 ordinary limbs? Oh no, of course not. You'd make those limbs SUPER-LIMBS, so as to immediately grant your significant other superhero abilities.

It makes absolutely no sense. And that is why this pilot failed so spectacularly. It's not because the villian is more interesting than the heroine - which all the reviewers seem to obsess about. The villian is almost always more interesting than the hero. It's because the premise doesn't stand up. It doesn't make sense on any sort of real-world level. And that's why this show will die. And why I will never watch it again. And why you shouldn't either.
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Very good points.
But do you really think the concept of having better-than-the-original implants and limps is less on a "real-world level" than people mutating and becomming superheros?
Or guys from other planets growing up in small towns?
I just found the whole production awefull, the acting, the editing, the direction aso...
Anyway, we´ll see how far this show will go...
 
c.g._eads said:
As these network "experts" pour periously through the NBC archives, they search for things not, ahem, that they can turn into great shows. But rather things they can, drum roll please.... SELL.
Click to expand...

So?

TV is a business.

And what you describe isn't the actual development history of Bionic Woman.

Not that I think the show was any good, because it wasn't.
 
Well, for the record, I think Heroes is ridiculous as well. Yet in its defense I felt like they made a convincing argument as to why people were gaining powers *in that world*. Humans will become smarter over time and begin to tap into abilities they previously could not. Hell, 50 million years ago all we could do was swim around in lava. That makes sense to me on a science fiction level. If this show would have given me even an ATTEMPT at any sort of logic, I would've been more forgiving. But it didn't. And I stand by my statement.
 
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