With a grain of salt...

chagrin

chagrin

Member
A little comedy if your interested

A few weeks ago I a received a job offer via e-mail from a former co-worker. A local director was looking for a production supervisor to help assemble a crew and assist on his sixth feature film. The director had a good track record of selling his previous films and was shooting only a few days a week. So even though I am still doing re-shoots and editing on my own feature, I figured why not? MISTAKE #1
I met up with the Director and his AD excited to hear about the film and those that were involved with the project. If hired I would be assembling a small team to handle sound and lighting, and would be working on this team myself. Everything went well at the meeting/ interview despite my inability to find the place. However, when I arrived a half hour late I was informed that I was the only person who responded to the job posting that showed up. CLUE #1
Two days later I rented the directors last film. It took me 3 days to watch it…. It was that bad. CLUE #2 MISTAKE #2
Now I’m not claiming to be some amazing director or cinematographer but, I do understand proper technique. For example, blown out windows- I’m sick of people telling me that the overexposed windows in their shot were an “Artistic decision”. Bullshit, it works 1% of the time and guess what? That means 99% of the time it is inappropriate, distracting, and immediately establishes you as a hack. Seriously folks how long does it take to put a filter on a window? If you can’t afford filter gels extra screen works, or even car window tint! We’ll get back to this later.
So trying to be an optimist I figured at least he has the insight to hire a proper crew. Maybe he knows his last film looked like ****. Good, maybe he has learned from his mistakes, the mark of an artist developing….. Wow, can you hear me trying to convince myself?
So after some soul searching I decided to stick around. I called the director up and told him that I had a great DP that could commit to his schedule- he would even work in payment deferred as long as expenses were covered up front. He was essentially doing the project a favor. He even had a second camera that matched up with the main camera for the shoot. Perfect right? Nope, “Sorry”, the director said, “I like to shoot everything myself, I went through two DP’s on my third film”.
Now allow me to back-track. The film I spoke of before, the one it took me 3 days to watch.. The director shot it, and it was on par with student projects from “Intro to Video Production”. Apparently tripods elude this guy. Almost all of the film was shot hand held- no stabilizer, small camera, no technique. Now, I am not making a statement based on personal opinion- Any good cinematographer will tell you that there is a time and place for this type of shooting. 24 is a perfect example, or The Bourne Ultimatum. Hand held, well blocked, shaky but aiding in the intensity of the situation- great. However zoomed in on a CU during a quiet lunch conversation, maybe shaky cam isn’t a good idea.
So my DP was out and this was to be another experiment in how much movement will cause seizures in the audience. Great. I should have walked right then and there. But for some reason I held out. MISTAKE #3
So I got the script. It was 25 pages spaced out so that a casual eye might actually believe it was 70 pages. The last page was numbered 70, but there is no way in proper format it would be a third of that. I’ll remind you that this film was slated to be a 90 min feature. The script f***ing sucked. I could flip through it easily figuring out who he was ripping off here or there. Blatant rip offs too. The kind that I knew he couldn’t pull off on his best day. Yet I drew on past experience- I have worked on sets where I thought the script sucked and the production was great. I’ve learned more on those movies than on the ones with really big name people attached.
So the point of this rant… I’m an idiot, an optimistic idiot, but none the less.
Shooting was slated to start in two weeks and I was still attached. MISTAKE #4

If you want more I got it… this could become the next mixerman, google him-
 
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so whats the problem, if you've already said you'd do it, do it, and remember in the future to get all this info before you agree.

but we've all been here, working on a project we wished we hadn't of agreed to do. so you have my simpathy, and a few laughs.

how is your feature coming along?


Jason
 
Yeah, I know we've all been there... There is so much comedy to come. I didnt mean to come off whining- just laughing at myself. If people want to hear more I could keep going. But this episode seems to be coming off as crying- sorry. As for my feature, two more weeks and all shooting will be wrapped. I've been edting a down converted version so that when all photography is complete I can manage my HD workflow quickly. October 9th is the Slamdance deadline- so it's been late nights, but you guys know the drill.
 
Hey, if this guy actually managed to get his film distributed for people to rent then maybe he got something there. Unless he self-distributed then somebody actually PAID him for the right to sell his movie. That's a lot more than most people can say. Maybe this will turn out to be a cult classic.
 
Well I'm still trying to figure it out. I think your right about the cult thing. The previous films were in the slasher/goth genre. Out of print now but I found it on Amazon. So yeah, maybe, but I'm not holding my breath. Jade8472- I thought of your signature as I drove to the first meeting. When the directions read, turn off of the paved road continue for seven miles..... I started to wonder if I was going to be the star of the film. Seriously, it was in the middle of nowhere. To make matters worst I didnt tell any body where I was going. But alas, I'm here to tell my tale.
 
we should learn something new with everything we do, and even if the only thing you've learned was to vett you job offers a little better it's a valuable lesson, and perhaps in the future you'll find that doing this crap film was worth what you learned from doing it, I mean after all, even if this guy is a hack, theirs always a bigger hack thats going to try to get you in the future.

so just always find some lesson in things, and look on the bright side.

and if you haven't learned that lesson, want to work on my next film? lol

Jason
 
YES! Another mixerman fan! I guess I hope for my own entertainment it would get that epic! So far just mistake after mistake and alot of the director putting his foot in his mouth. More annoying than funny though. I swear I've worked with the band he was involved with, maybe- They just fit the descriptions too well, but anyways-

As far as experience- yeah I'm going to stick it out, I've done worst. The project was sold to me as a medium sized production with a descent budget- not what it is turning into (now three weeks into production). If I post again I'll just include the funny stuff.
 
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The First Weekend


I arrived a few hours before the crew call so that I could meet with the director and talk over the scenes that were to be shot the first day. I brought a truckload of lighting equipment, my sound gear, and camera accessories (Matte box, rails, monitor mount) ect..

I forgot to mention that I offered the use of my Red Rock, this was shot down. Actually the director, laughed at my “toy”. He thought it was a gimmick. And the DVX he purchased, he called me and told me it also felt like a toy.

So I started to set up the first shot, a large room about 35’X20’ with one wall of glass. The windows had no blinds and were in direct sunlight in the afternoon, but the director insisted on shooting in front of them. I went outside I started to ND the (huge) windows. By this time the crew started to show up. One of the guys made his way over to me and introduced himself. I did the same; we exchanged niceties and got to the task at hand. Now regularly I try not to be a jerk and today was no exception. I put up with stories about this set and that set (later to realize he was talking about the same and only other movie he worked on). So I figured I’d do some friendly hazing. I asked him to grab me some C-47’s, a couple of c stands, and a half apple. He exited without question. I hung the rest of the ND filters and started to set up an HMI that I would be using to cast shadow on one of the huge blank walls that “had” to be in the shot. When my pal returned he only had two stands, however they were mic stands. He then informed me that we were out of C-47s, and Kraft service did not have apples, only apple danishes.

Now I know what you’re thinking, I must be a prick. But I just sighed and showed him where the C-47s were, it was my subtle way of explaining what they were. Together we grabbed some c-stands and apple boxes. Things were going to be ok. I think he realized that, “This one time, at movie camp…” was not a good ice breaker, don’t talk the talk unless you can walk the walk.

So after a few hours the actors were ready, (no rehearsals were scheduled before production began) and we went to get the first shot.

Director:
Ok are you going to put the wireless mics on them?
Sound:
Uh, no I was planning on booming the shots.
Director:
How are you going to get both of them?
Sound:
Umm, I’ll move as they go, this isn’t a two shot is it?
Director:
The master is a two shot.
Sound:
How much dialog?
Director:
Well none-
Sound:
Right so it’s MOS on the master?
Director:
Huh?
(Sound man walks away)

So as the first shot is set I hear, “No, No, No, stop everything- we need a lot more light. I’ll be the first to tell you the scene looked great and he was at f4-5 with lots of room to play. Nice attached shadow to the villain’s face, soft even light on the “good girl”, cool shadows on the walls, and properly exposed windows. I had about six fixtures in the room not counting the HMI outside.

“Can we just bounce a photoflood off of that wall”? I give the director/DP a puzzled look and reply, “Where do you want more light”? He tells me, “Everywhere”. So I get out my meter and ask him, “How many stops”. He looks at me in a stupefied manner. Just bounce a photoflood off of that wall.

Now I’m in between a rock and a hard place. Do I call him out in front of the cast and crew, or just shut up and ruin all of the shadow I just spent the last hour creating. We took a little walk to another room and I explained what bouncing one of his beloved photofloods would do to the scene. We then looked at the camera and I made some suggestions. A few suggestions later I found myself setting up a f***ing photoflood. So it was going to be a soap opera set- great just like the last flick. Now I know I’m f***ed.
 
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The term "MOS" is used, on a slate, when a scene is filmed without sync sound (or any sound) [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]MOS may stand for... [/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Minus optical sound[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Minus optical stripe[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Muted on screen[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Mute on sound[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Mic off stage[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Music on side[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Motor only shot[/FONT]
  • [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Motor only sync[/FONT]
I like "Mixer out smoking"
I did copy these just to let you know- I always heard Mit out Sound, a German-American hybrid of with out sound.
 
Oh man, this is great stuff! Keep it coming and I hope you're at least getting paid well for going through this crap.
 
Any chance you could mention the name of said director or his movie? And if so, would I be able to find his film in say, blockbuster?

curious to see it.
 
Well, not yet. I understand that its screwed up that I'm going to be a little elusive, but the project is still going on and out of respect for the crew and cast I'll wait till its all done. It could take a turn for the better- see i'm still kidding myself! Hell I'd be doing the film a service by hyping it. Put it this way you've never heard of him, trust me.
 
The First Weekend/ Day 2

So just as on the first day I showed up early to talk to the director and view dailies. I was met at the door with bad news. “We f***ked up” the director tells me. “We” I’m thinking? The camera was set in the wrong mode and the lighting was all wrong. So now I’m still wondering how this is a we situation, but the thought is subsiding at the notion that he may realize how 1000watts of photofloods made the set look like The Young and the Restless circa 1988.

Then he asks me, “Why does everyone look orange”? Uhh lets back-track to the sidebar we had yesterday. I’ve got all daylight balanced fixtures up including an HMI and direct sunlight- Add two tungsten photofloods and BAM! Umpaloompas! Now don’t jump the gun, I used filters on the floods, but they spilled like crazy. I suggested that the camera be rebalanced, but to avail. To make matters worst he asks me this in front of the AD who is just arriving. Now I have to go on the defensive and explain to him again what happened, but this time I’m being held accountable!

I look at the dailies and it’s not that bad, minor CC and it would be fine. I don’t bother offering to show him what to do (No CC on his previous films) because he had the camera recording a 4:3 cropped image- so the footage is f**ked anyways. Then he says, “It sounds terrible, do you hear that echo”? I give him a look and listen for a second. Something is not right- echo comes in a bunch of flavors. The echo I was hearing was linier; it didn’t come in orders- as in first and second order reflections. Adding to this the bass response remained even, usually bass suffers as echo causes phase incoherence. It hits me as to what I’m hearing. I get up and saunter over to his home entertainment center. He happens to have the same surround receiver that a bunch of my friends own (Wal Mart special Sony). These kinds of receivers cover up their lack of accuracy and general shittyness with a bunch of cool reverb presets, Theater, Jazz Hall, Musical… you get the point. I switched off the reverb and the room was silent. Having won my first battle we headed off to the location.

I set up the lights in much the same manner then took a look at the camera. It looked good. I didn’t bother to look at the monitor because, ehh there isn’t one! I was explained that he had used one previously but it didn’t matter because only the other actors and PA’s looked at it. Ok, fair enough- but now you have an AD and me, you’re MacGyver—and damn it we need a monitor! I make a note to myself to bring my laptop loaded with Scopebox. It’s not a highly calibrated rental but I’ve done Calibug- and through time I kinda know how it’s going to turn out. Besides at least I won’t have to feel like I’m in the way when I’m trying to get at the eye piece on the camera.




So he bullshits the actors into believing that it was their performances that needed some inserts re-shot and proceeds to re-shoot the whole scene without owning up to his mistake. But this time he decides to loose the tripod, I knew this was coming! So now after 2 days we are a whole day off schedule and the actors are nervous about their performances. Trust me it showed. I direct too (who doesn’t) and the last thing you do is ask and actor to do a re-take when the camera dept screws up—then blame the actor. It throws them off- especially when they don’t know what they did wrong.

I go home, wash my car, and go to bed. I have no will to edit, my motivation is gone.
 
ok heres the thing, we all adviced you not to walk in the begining and you didn't. much respect to you.

however, if he starts blaming you for his screw ups then thats abuse, and I'd say your free to walk at anytime.


you asked if you should just shutup and screw up the shadows and nice lighting setup you made. the answer is yes, it's his film to screw up if he wants to. and as long as he doesn''t put blame on you for what he did keep in trucken with him. but as soon as he lays blame on you for his mistake, tell him to truck off.


advice number B, if you stick with him, and the film sucks, ask to use a fake name. becouse even though its the director screwing things up, it still reflects on you.
 
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