Top Ten Signs You Are an Extra in an Action Movie

Larry Rutledge

Larry Rutledge

Fest Master
10. You always seem to hang out near a lot of really, really breakable surfaces.

9. Everything just went slow-motion for a second there.

8. This marked the fifth engine explosion in your car this week.

7. You only enter rooms by getting kicked through the door.

6. While you're at your desk in the police station doing paperwork, that reckless hotshot cop whose partner just died storms into the boss's office, throws down his badge and gun, and storms out.

5. Gun wielding, muscle bound men often come up and steal your car.

4. Your drivers license reads "Bystander #2".

3. So far you have never succeeded in rolling your fruit cart undamaged down the sidewalk of a busy city street.

2. Your military training included shooting at nothing, somersaulting from guard towers, and hanging limp on barbed wire.

1. Your only two expressions are clueless and terrified.
 
Every time you and a co-worker are gingerly carrying a 4'x8' pane of plate glass across a street, someone runs the light and drives their car through it.

Every time you are on your tiptoes hanging one end of a banner across a street, someone comes driving along at high speed and knocks your ladder out from under you, leaving you swinging across the street on the loose end of the banner.

You walk into your bank, and a robber who doesn't even have a beef with you, shoots you just to show someone else that he's really serious.

You fall down elevator shafts, off parapets, get squished by falling debris/smokestacks/etc, to underscore for the people around you what a dangerous situation they're all in.
 
Last edited:
Larry R said:
9. Everything just went slow-motion for a second there.

2. Your military training included shooting at nothing, somersaulting from guard towers, and hanging limp on barbed wire.

1. Your only two expressions are clueless and terrified.
Click to expand...

After working on the Patriot, I can definitely identify with #s 1, 2 & 9, although we didnt have any barbed wire. There are few more indicators that could be included here:

11. Hearing an AD over the radio telling another AD not to let the medics cut the uniform off the guy that just got stepped on by the horse. See item #1.

12. Having a special effects guy detonate a powder charge when you are standing next to it. See items #1 and #9 above.

13. Having a 5lb sack of flour shot out of a cannon pass between you and the guy standing next to you. See item #1. Dont remember if #9 applies or not.

14. Having your wig catch fire because some AD put a guy firing a musket where he should not have been standing two seconds before cameras rolling. Again, items #1 and #9 above.

15. Hearing the camera operators laughing as you put the fire out with a tricorner hat. Again, item #1.

:beer:
 
Your girlfriends-to-girlfriend-who've-been-kidnapped ratio stands at 1:1.

You keep a spare badge in your wallet just in case you have to turn it in in disgust before you're reinstated.
 
^^I think 'The Patriot' is Roland's best work to date.

Great art being built on suffering, and all.
 
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