check out my documentary trailer

dustino

dustino

Well-known member
Ok, this is something more akin to a "pre-production" trailer if that makes any sense. It's primarily to generate interest among people involved and act as something I can show at fundraisers for the film. I bring that up because I know there are some serious flaws with this baby (some of the audio is god-awful ). But hey, it is what it is and I'm happy with it for its current purposes. Here's the link:

www.spokefilms.com/videos

Thanks. (hey this is the first time I've posted footage here! It's about time.)
 
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Hi dustino, I love documentaries, good luck with it.

I won't judge your work but I would avoid using voice-overs with titles. It's hard for the brain to concentrate on both. Too much information.

Just my kind tip.
 
Steve_Arm said:
Hi dustino, I love documentaries, good luck with it.

I won't judge your work but I would avoid using voice-overs with titles. It's hard for the brain to concentrate on both. Too much information.

Just my kind tip.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice, steve. I was a little worried about that (titling with v/o) but thought I could get away with it because the text was short and sweet and I felt the viewer only needed to get the gist of the voice over. If you found that annonying or distracting, though, I might need to reconsider. Thanks.
 
hey dustino,

i love the story you want to tell, very compelling. here are my 2 cents.

the last shot of the city with the clouds is awesome, love it.

the opening establishing shots are good, but i would do them without the zoom. the pan was also a bit shaky. if you have the footage, i might go for shot that is locked with the train moving.

the most distracting thing for me was the audio. is it supposed to be synced with the images, or are the images b-roll to the VO. i found it distracting that they you see people speaking but it doesn't match the audio.

personally i think the audio works with different images, not of people talking though. or if you use the actual audio of when they do talk it would be great.

again, i think you got something really great going here.
 
Steve_Arm said:
Hi dustino, I love documentaries, good luck with it.

I won't judge your work but I would avoid using voice-overs with titles. It's hard for the brain to concentrate on both. Too much information.

Just my kind tip.
Click to expand...

Very true. If you have title with voice-over make sure they correspond . Conversely, if you have a long piece of text it helps to have someone reading it.
 
Rasquachemedia said:
hey dustino,

i love the story you want to tell, very compelling. here are my 2 cents.

the last shot of the city with the clouds is awesome, love it.

the opening establishing shots are good, but i would do them without the zoom. the pan was also a bit shaky. if you have the footage, i might go for shot that is locked with the train moving.

the most distracting thing for me was the audio. is it supposed to be synced with the images, or are the images b-roll to the VO. i found it distracting that they you see people speaking but it doesn't match the audio.

personally i think the audio works with different images, not of people talking though. or if you use the actual audio of when they do talk it would be great.

again, i think you got something really great going here.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your comments, Rasquachemedia. You are being very generous by saying that the establishing shots were "a bit shaky." They are damn shaky! Like they were shot by a ten year old who never used a camera before!

As far as seeing people speaking without it matching the audio - I'm hoping there was a download issue. Anytime someone is on screen speaking, the audio should be syncronized. V/O was only used on establishing shots (and the text that people find confusing/distracting.)

Thanks again for yours (and others') comments - they are definitely helpful.
 
I have been very successful getting docs funded. Your story, while a fairly typical doc subject, is one that does have great appeal. The main thing I would change about this pitch video is the music, you can start with the harmonica but then add some emotionally driven score to help really pound home how passionate these people are. Find someone who will do it for free until you can repay them when budget comes in. People undersestimate how essential music is to driving the emotional reaction of the viewer...



ash =o)


PS if you need help with budgeting, paperwork for investors, one-sheets, treatments, etc. let me know
 
I suppose you are trying to warm the viewer up with the flowers in the open, but to me, you lost an opportunity to grab the viewer with something much more powerful--if you're going for a trailer feel...

There were way too many talking heads. Did you do any sit-down interviews or were all the interviews from the presser?

great audio and good soundbites, just felt like there were too many. Perhaps you could try and go out and shoot some b-roll related to what people are saying to cover the audio so we aren't seeing so much talking heads.? prison b-roll or something that looks dark and scary, I dunno.

HTH, I know that is kind of harsh, but you should go at it again and think in your head.."why is someone going to watch this? what will keep them tuned in? why, as a viewer do I even care about this? what kind of gripping video can I use to paint this picture?

if this is a pitch video, ONLY put in the hot stuff. cut the fat and keep the muscle.

liked the last shot!
 
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I agree with that as well... start off with the guy talking about being handcuffed. Also, I would lose the credits as they are generally not needed in this type of thing.



ash =o)
 
(+) feedback for you

(+) feedback for you

great story and concept so you have the #1 rule nailed

great job overall. this is a very technical forum so take the comments from a technical perspective. I was drawn into your film but the one big thing that distracted me was the harmonica, which was so powerful at first, kept going, and it should have been cut early. ditto on the voiceovers with text, that's a no-no.

lighting is awesome, not a single problem seeing people

others are correct, more music please and make it dramatic! deep tones, film strings, do it up! give us a sense that something ominous or dangerous is going to happen here and we're going to witness it

good camera work in places, great camera work in others, always room for improvement. best lesson: move that camera slowly like it weighs a ton and stabilize...

no logos, save those for end credit roll in your feature

try a non-standard font for your titles so it gives less of a template feel

webgeek alert: embed your quicktime in a Webpage and set it to NOT autoplay so it can buffer some of the movie first

rent Roger & Me and watch that trailer over and over. how do you get someone to watch a movie about layoffs for crying out loud? Moore's techniques puts people's butts in theaters.

cut that trailer down to 3 minutes or less; get in, get out

overall great job, very encouraging and thanks for raising my awareness of this topic

:thumbsup:
 
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