etrizz
Member
It's pretty short and it's my first draft. I'm interested in your feedback.
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INT. APARTMENT - DAY
The apartment looks as any male college students would look; messy and cluttered.
A early twenty something male named PONCHO is sitting on a dirty couch eating cereal directly out of the box. He’s unshaven and wearing an old mexican style poncho watching the television.
The front door swings open. OTIS, same age, storms in and throws his backpack down.
PONCHO
(still watching
television)
What’s up, dude?
OTIS
College is ridiculous!
PONCHO
Haha, yeah dude.
OTIS
Especially Mrs. Miller. We just took this
test today, right? Not only was it super
tough, but we have our midterm in two
weeks. What the hell is she thinking? That
I have no life and can just study constantly?
That taking tests on polynomials is going
to help me succeed in life?
PONCHO
Yeah, that’s a real drag.
OTIS
Seriously, what am I going to do? I can’t
take this same math class over again, my
Mom is going to kill me.
PONCHO
Just lay down some hardcore study time.
BEAT
Or just fake your death. My cousin Clyde did
it.
OTIS
In college?
PONCHO
Nah, see, he got drunk and punched a stripper
in the throat and all these guys were looking
for him. So he stole a photo booth or something
and rigged it with explosives and blew it up
and everyone thought he was in it. But then
he really did die a couple weeks later in a
bizarre sport fishing accident.
OTIS
That doesn’t really help me out, Poncho.
Poncho shrugs.
Otis looks at the television.
OTIS
What are you watching?
PONCHO
“Weird Science.” They use computers and
stuff to make this hot chick walk out
of the closet so they can pork her.
OTIS
Is she a robot?
PONCHO
Nah man, they hooked up this Barbie to
the computer and she just appeared. It’d
be much more realistic if it was a robot,
since you can actually make one of those.
****, even I can make a robot.
OTIS
Haha, yeah, right...
PONCHO
For serious dude. I made one in
high school. The thing played Risk. It was
smart, too. It beat all of the
Asian kids.
Otis’ eyes widen.
OTIS
You think it could do math?
PONCHO
Math? Why would you want a robot to...
Oh, haha, I get it. Yeah probably.
Otis smiles.
INT. PONCHO’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The room is darkly lit. There are numerous high-tech looking boxes with dials and switches. In the center of the room lays a lifeless robot with wires attached to it.
The robot is built up of two silver boxes. A large one for the torso and a smaller one for the head. It has silver tubes for arms legs.
Poncho sits at a computer and types feverishly on the keyboard. Otis stands over the robot looking down at it with a beer in his hand.
OTIS
This is a pretty crappy looking robot.
PONCHO
It’s not done yet. We’ll put it in some
of your clothes and no one will be the
wiser.
OTIS
You’re kidding me, right?
PONCHO
Dude chill out it’ll work.
Poncho continues to type.
PONCHO
Ok, I think it’s done.
Otis stares at the robot.
OTIS
Isn’t it supposed to move?
Poncho gets out of his chair and stands next to Otis.
PONCHO
Just give it a second. It has to warm
up.
Nothing happens.
PONCHO
Come on, you piece of ****.
Poncho kicks the robot on the side. The robot starts to kick it’s arms and legs.
OTIS
Whoa...
PONCHO
Haha, what did I tell you?!
Poncho grabs Otis’ shoulders and shakes him in excitement causing Otis to drop his beer.
Beer slowly starts to drip into the robots mouth.
OTIS
You idiot!
The robot starts to shake wildly on the ground.
OTIS
Look at it! It’s freaking out!
PONCHO
I’m sorry, all right? It was an accident and
I...
The robot stands up and walks out the door. The boys watch it in silence as it leaves.
KITCHEN
The robot opens the refrigerator and grabs a six pack of beer. It opens a bottle and pours it into his mouth.
Otis and Poncho enter the kitchen.
OTIS
(whispering)
What’s it doing?
PONCHO
Drinking beer.
OTIS
Yeah, no kidding. Did you program it
to do this?
PONCHO
No, the beer must of short circuited it
or something.
The robot throws the empty bottle of beer down and grabs another.
OTIS
(to the robot)
Hey man, quit bogarting the beer!
Otis tries to take the beer from the robot but he pushes him away.
OTIS
Robot, I order you to stop drinking
all of our beer!
The robot slaps him in the face.
OTIS
Ow...
The robot throws another empty bottle. He swings his arms widely and then leaves through the front door with the rest of the six pack.
OTIS
Should we try to stop him or something?
PONCHO
Nah, let him go. Let him go.
OTIS
Great! Real great! What am I supposed to
do now?
PONCHO
Don’t worry. Just let the robot party
for a bit. He’ll come back. They always
do...
EXT. PARK - DAY
A MAN is feeding bread to some geese by a pond. The robot runs through the flock, scaring both the birds and the man.
EXT. CURB - DAY
A DRUNK sits on a curb drinking a 40 out of a paper bag. The robot grabs the 40 from him.
DRUNK
I’m sooo sick of you robots! Just let
a man be! Quit hassling me!
The robot stands above him. There is a pause as they look at each other.
The robot slaps the Drunk in the face and waddles off.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
The apartment is full of people as they have a raging party. Loud music is playing and people are getting wild.
The robot stumbles in through the front door. A FRAT BOY, carrying a bottle of alcohol and obviously intoxicated, puts his arm around the robot.
FRAT BOY
Right on, Chad! Love the costume, man!
Now take a shot with me, you pussy!
The robot shrugs it’s shoulders.
FRAT BOY
RIGHT ON!!!
LIVING ROOM
The robot stands in a circle of five or six other kids. One after another they all take a shot of alcohol. The robot wobbles; it’s apparent that the alcohol is starting to affect him.
A SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL comes up to the robot and runs her finger over the robot’s face.
SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL
Oooh, you’re cute. Want to go to some place
where we can talk?
The robot shrugs.
SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL
Meow!
BEDROOM
The robot exits the bedroom with women’s underwear on his head.
SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL (O.S.)
Call me, ok?
The robot slams the door behind him.
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The robot stumbles out into the parking lot. He pukes up black sludge.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Poncho sits on the couch eating cereal directly out of the box watching TV. On the floor laying infront of him is the robot covered in dirt and oil.
Otis enters through the front door.
PONCHO
(watching the
TV)
How’d your test go?
OTIS
All right, I think.
He notices the robot.
OTIS
When did he come back?
PONCHO
I don’t know, he was here when I woke
up.
OTIS
Well, I guess there’s a lesson to be
learned from this whole experience.
PONCHO
Yeah, totally.
Otis sits down next to Poncho. They sit in silence for a few moments and watch the TV.
OTIS
I ****ing hate robots.
FADE OUT.
-----
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
The apartment looks as any male college students would look; messy and cluttered.
A early twenty something male named PONCHO is sitting on a dirty couch eating cereal directly out of the box. He’s unshaven and wearing an old mexican style poncho watching the television.
The front door swings open. OTIS, same age, storms in and throws his backpack down.
PONCHO
(still watching
television)
What’s up, dude?
OTIS
College is ridiculous!
PONCHO
Haha, yeah dude.
OTIS
Especially Mrs. Miller. We just took this
test today, right? Not only was it super
tough, but we have our midterm in two
weeks. What the hell is she thinking? That
I have no life and can just study constantly?
That taking tests on polynomials is going
to help me succeed in life?
PONCHO
Yeah, that’s a real drag.
OTIS
Seriously, what am I going to do? I can’t
take this same math class over again, my
Mom is going to kill me.
PONCHO
Just lay down some hardcore study time.
BEAT
Or just fake your death. My cousin Clyde did
it.
OTIS
In college?
PONCHO
Nah, see, he got drunk and punched a stripper
in the throat and all these guys were looking
for him. So he stole a photo booth or something
and rigged it with explosives and blew it up
and everyone thought he was in it. But then
he really did die a couple weeks later in a
bizarre sport fishing accident.
OTIS
That doesn’t really help me out, Poncho.
Poncho shrugs.
Otis looks at the television.
OTIS
What are you watching?
PONCHO
“Weird Science.” They use computers and
stuff to make this hot chick walk out
of the closet so they can pork her.
OTIS
Is she a robot?
PONCHO
Nah man, they hooked up this Barbie to
the computer and she just appeared. It’d
be much more realistic if it was a robot,
since you can actually make one of those.
****, even I can make a robot.
OTIS
Haha, yeah, right...
PONCHO
For serious dude. I made one in
high school. The thing played Risk. It was
smart, too. It beat all of the
Asian kids.
Otis’ eyes widen.
OTIS
You think it could do math?
PONCHO
Math? Why would you want a robot to...
Oh, haha, I get it. Yeah probably.
Otis smiles.
INT. PONCHO’S BEDROOM - NIGHT
The room is darkly lit. There are numerous high-tech looking boxes with dials and switches. In the center of the room lays a lifeless robot with wires attached to it.
The robot is built up of two silver boxes. A large one for the torso and a smaller one for the head. It has silver tubes for arms legs.
Poncho sits at a computer and types feverishly on the keyboard. Otis stands over the robot looking down at it with a beer in his hand.
OTIS
This is a pretty crappy looking robot.
PONCHO
It’s not done yet. We’ll put it in some
of your clothes and no one will be the
wiser.
OTIS
You’re kidding me, right?
PONCHO
Dude chill out it’ll work.
Poncho continues to type.
PONCHO
Ok, I think it’s done.
Otis stares at the robot.
OTIS
Isn’t it supposed to move?
Poncho gets out of his chair and stands next to Otis.
PONCHO
Just give it a second. It has to warm
up.
Nothing happens.
PONCHO
Come on, you piece of ****.
Poncho kicks the robot on the side. The robot starts to kick it’s arms and legs.
OTIS
Whoa...
PONCHO
Haha, what did I tell you?!
Poncho grabs Otis’ shoulders and shakes him in excitement causing Otis to drop his beer.
Beer slowly starts to drip into the robots mouth.
OTIS
You idiot!
The robot starts to shake wildly on the ground.
OTIS
Look at it! It’s freaking out!
PONCHO
I’m sorry, all right? It was an accident and
I...
The robot stands up and walks out the door. The boys watch it in silence as it leaves.
KITCHEN
The robot opens the refrigerator and grabs a six pack of beer. It opens a bottle and pours it into his mouth.
Otis and Poncho enter the kitchen.
OTIS
(whispering)
What’s it doing?
PONCHO
Drinking beer.
OTIS
Yeah, no kidding. Did you program it
to do this?
PONCHO
No, the beer must of short circuited it
or something.
The robot throws the empty bottle of beer down and grabs another.
OTIS
(to the robot)
Hey man, quit bogarting the beer!
Otis tries to take the beer from the robot but he pushes him away.
OTIS
Robot, I order you to stop drinking
all of our beer!
The robot slaps him in the face.
OTIS
Ow...
The robot throws another empty bottle. He swings his arms widely and then leaves through the front door with the rest of the six pack.
OTIS
Should we try to stop him or something?
PONCHO
Nah, let him go. Let him go.
OTIS
Great! Real great! What am I supposed to
do now?
PONCHO
Don’t worry. Just let the robot party
for a bit. He’ll come back. They always
do...
EXT. PARK - DAY
A MAN is feeding bread to some geese by a pond. The robot runs through the flock, scaring both the birds and the man.
EXT. CURB - DAY
A DRUNK sits on a curb drinking a 40 out of a paper bag. The robot grabs the 40 from him.
DRUNK
I’m sooo sick of you robots! Just let
a man be! Quit hassling me!
The robot stands above him. There is a pause as they look at each other.
The robot slaps the Drunk in the face and waddles off.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
The apartment is full of people as they have a raging party. Loud music is playing and people are getting wild.
The robot stumbles in through the front door. A FRAT BOY, carrying a bottle of alcohol and obviously intoxicated, puts his arm around the robot.
FRAT BOY
Right on, Chad! Love the costume, man!
Now take a shot with me, you pussy!
The robot shrugs it’s shoulders.
FRAT BOY
RIGHT ON!!!
LIVING ROOM
The robot stands in a circle of five or six other kids. One after another they all take a shot of alcohol. The robot wobbles; it’s apparent that the alcohol is starting to affect him.
A SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL comes up to the robot and runs her finger over the robot’s face.
SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL
Oooh, you’re cute. Want to go to some place
where we can talk?
The robot shrugs.
SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL
Meow!
BEDROOM
The robot exits the bedroom with women’s underwear on his head.
SLUTTY DRUNK GIRL (O.S.)
Call me, ok?
The robot slams the door behind him.
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The robot stumbles out into the parking lot. He pukes up black sludge.
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Poncho sits on the couch eating cereal directly out of the box watching TV. On the floor laying infront of him is the robot covered in dirt and oil.
Otis enters through the front door.
PONCHO
(watching the
TV)
How’d your test go?
OTIS
All right, I think.
He notices the robot.
OTIS
When did he come back?
PONCHO
I don’t know, he was here when I woke
up.
OTIS
Well, I guess there’s a lesson to be
learned from this whole experience.
PONCHO
Yeah, totally.
Otis sits down next to Poncho. They sit in silence for a few moments and watch the TV.
OTIS
I ****ing hate robots.
FADE OUT.