Well, quite simply, I'm going to rip this movie apart. I got so sick of all the whining and "whoa is me" the PR department was spitting out when nobody was going to see this movie in the theatres. "You, Joe Public", they said, "always complain that nothing different ever comes out. And here we put something different out, and you're not going. It's your fault." Uh, that's because your movie, although marketed as "intelligent", even "genius" by some, isn't any good.
First of all, the number one rule for a mystery detective story is that we actually *care* about the mystery. Unfortunately, Shane Black cares a lot more about witty little quips. Sure, you chuckle, every once in awhile. But that hardly constitutes a fun movie-going experience. Isn't a good story supposed to have a plot that goes somewhere. This movie is so random. It's like Black just thought it up while he was going along. These characters have such random unbelievable connections to each other. A guy can't recognize the girl he was madly in love with in high school after talking to her for five minutes at a bar?? A main character is about to get killed but luckily the Roach Coach owner has a gun of his own and decides to shoot and kill the bad guy. Why? Out of anger. Sure, right. Anybody would throw their life away to shoot somebody down because they're pissed, simultaneously saving the main character so he can remain in the story. People bump into each other randomly in order to move the story along. And if not, they call each other on their cell phones, which is known in every writing circle as LAZY WRITING.
Meanwhile, the movie takes on this whimsical fun tone, which is supposed to make you forget about all these little blemishes. But you don't. Because you still need a story to be engaged. I truly believe Shane Black wrote this in three days. It's so bad. Screw this movie and screw the four bucks I paid for it.
First of all, the number one rule for a mystery detective story is that we actually *care* about the mystery. Unfortunately, Shane Black cares a lot more about witty little quips. Sure, you chuckle, every once in awhile. But that hardly constitutes a fun movie-going experience. Isn't a good story supposed to have a plot that goes somewhere. This movie is so random. It's like Black just thought it up while he was going along. These characters have such random unbelievable connections to each other. A guy can't recognize the girl he was madly in love with in high school after talking to her for five minutes at a bar?? A main character is about to get killed but luckily the Roach Coach owner has a gun of his own and decides to shoot and kill the bad guy. Why? Out of anger. Sure, right. Anybody would throw their life away to shoot somebody down because they're pissed, simultaneously saving the main character so he can remain in the story. People bump into each other randomly in order to move the story along. And if not, they call each other on their cell phones, which is known in every writing circle as LAZY WRITING.
Meanwhile, the movie takes on this whimsical fun tone, which is supposed to make you forget about all these little blemishes. But you don't. Because you still need a story to be engaged. I truly believe Shane Black wrote this in three days. It's so bad. Screw this movie and screw the four bucks I paid for it.
