"The Stars Above" - Edgen

Music video. I can agree to that I suppose. :)

I suppose I can explain what the story is about, but a good film you shouldn't have to .. So... I guess my film is just not that good. but hey. it was the thought that counts right?

The story:


More or less, the man in black is the man in white. Its almost as though he's the future looking in and "What's to come". The man in white is 'gifted' a case to him. He's a regular guy in a regular life. The contents of the briefcase changes him... turning him bad. There was a shot of the guy white killing a cockroach but I thought it really didn't fit in the film. I wanted a 'progression' of his down fall of his killing. The contents of the case has been passed down through generations and ultimately came to this guy. His 'body' had died and the little guy with the green eyes (short/quick shot of him emerging from the shadows after he picks up the case) was actually the body before him. A boy. (in my story) So the boy's body became mangled and torn from time. Like a mummy almost. So it was time to pass the 'gift' onto someone else. Why he passed it on is a whole other story.

So basically the guy in black is a future image of the guy in white. Hence the last shot of him putting on the hat transforming and merging the two characters into one.

I'd love to post some of the VFX shots. Are we allowed to do that yet? And.. behind the scenes stuff.

Music was pre existing tracks of mine simply because I didn't have the time to make new sounds. Perhaps on a future release I'll really focus on a score that fits the mood a little better. This is the part i'm most unhappy with myself. (and a few dodgy green screen and a blurry camera shot which, i'm sure If i had someone there doing the rack focuses, I could have pulled them off)

Hope that helps and makes sense.

Bottom line.. This was fun as shi* and I'm soooo excited and looking forward to working on the next one. AND.. My original script that I wrote for this hero fest is completely different and perhaps one of these days I'll go ahead and make that movie too. Ahhh.. time. just need more time.

and beer.

/j
 
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I thought your score was the strongest part, and the V.O. took me out of rather than into the stroy. It would be really cool to see this film with just the score and no V.O. and see the result interms of story. To me it would be cool for the visuals to communicate everything. I am a little wierd that way though. Nice work.
 
Edgen, I'm not a fan of VO no matter what. It has its uses, and I can see how useful a tool it was in making a 5:00 superhero movie...there's lots of story that has to be communicated to the viewer in a very short time. I'm gonna venture to say that your visuals and your score do the communicating for you! I don't know how your film would work without the VO, but I think you did a good job in actually thinking through what you wanted to communicate when setting up a shot...wide shot, low angle, CU, etc...I can see that you thought that out. The VO took me away from that.
 
THanks for the input. Yep.. perhaps once the voting it finished, I'll do another re-render of the movie without the VO just to see how that goes. And, i'll replace it with a complete overhaul of sound design. (there's an asston of it in there anyway)

I am wondering if I should have added a little extra more lines would have made the difference. Or.. perhaps take the 'garbled' sound out. Dunno.. lost o' options.

cheers!

And ya... if you any of you guys have any HaRDCore Crits.. I can take them so bring em on. :) I'm willing to learn from this. its the biggest one that I've done myself. besides that was my short , "The Golden Pineapple" which was shot with my Sony CYBERshot PC10 digital camera in movie mode. www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple



(been involved in LOTS of other films though. just not my own)

/j
 
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Justin, I liked it! Still recovering from the fact you did this all on your own. ;-)

Nice dark atmosphere! The score and sound design fit perfectly together. At most times I experienced the score and sound design as a single layer of sound, perfectly blending, which I thought was very cool to experience in a film.

The tension builds up smoothly - Visually a very nice film too!

Too bad I can't vote :)
 
Herman Witkam said:
Justin, I liked it! Still recovering from the fact you did this all on your own. ;-)

Nice dark atmosphere! The score and sound design fit perfectly together. At most times I experienced the score and sound design as a single layer of sound, perfectly blending, which I thought was very cool to experience in a film.

The tension builds up smoothly - Visually a very nice film too!

Too bad I can't vote :)

Ha!! thank ya! well, you have 91 more comments to make on these films and then you can! ;)

I'm glad you liked it and yep. I'm a one man show on this one. Hopefully the next fest I'll have a LOT more help. Plus, the next one has a bigger deadline and I have more time to lolly dag around. :)

/j
 
Knowing that you did everything yourself, it was fun to watch the short a second time to see the types of shots/compositions you were able to accomplish. I'm blown away that you were able to do so much.

Also, as Envision mentioned, for someone just learning After Effects, there is a lot of great VFX work in here. The score, too, is great and, IMO, is the strongest part of the piece. As Herman mentioned above, the score builds very smoothly without becoming overbearing.

In terms of story, though, I found the majority of it to be pretty incomprehensible. The VO and visuals seem to be working against each other--in that the VO (specifically how the voice is filtered) is really overbearing. I found myself not being drawn into the story (or caring about the story for that matter) because of the VO.
 
I loved this short...but didn't get the story at all. It was shot really well, and evoked a very distinctive mood. If the story/script had come together more comprehensively, you'd have really nailed it. Very admirable considering you did it all alone. And hey, as you say, it's a V.O. so you can always amend it.
 
Watched this one twice.

Pros - Some good camera angles and uses of color. I'm uber impressed that you did this yourself. The only movies I've made myself are crappy Lego Stop Motion shorts. My hat is off to you!

Cons - Yeah, the whole VO thing, and the story was a little confusing, but oh well, you did this yourself and it's a major accomplishment. You should be proud.

Overall - Did you say you did this yourself? ;)
 
Dang.. makes me wish I took out the VO now :)

Perhaps if I started the Voice Over as my normal voice and added a few extra explanations, and then as the Man in White progressed in his downfall, it would eventually turn sides and go darker... Perhaps that would have worked better.

In a nutshell, the VO is the character's random thoughts and they're really not supposed to make much sense. Err... at least that's what happened when I wrote it, :) but that was the last thing I did before i could take the camera back the next morning. (just had it for practically two days) Next thing you know... the deadline approached. I suppose to me the story does make sense, but of course I'm a wee biased.

Any other critical help would be superb! Lighting, camera... Sound FX? My favorite line, (although no one likes the lines...) was, "Perhaps a few children... Innocent lives in the womb of the corrupt." Then, I had a baby screaming and the shower to represent a dirty whore or something to that effect. The character killed her off and was carrying a child.

But yay!! Keep em comin' There were around 40+ VFX shots in the film. Just seeing if everyone could catch them all :)

/j
 
I wouldn't beat myself up too much if I were you. Look at what you've accomplished entirely by yourself. What you've learned from this experience will serve you well on HorrorFest. The most important thing to remember is make sure your story is on the screen. You know the story, but you can't expect your audience to know it unless you show it to them. Notice I said show it to them instead of tell it to them. Voice Over is an easy trap to fall into, especially on a short subject where you're trying to convey a lot of information in a short period of time. It's always best to challenge yourself by not using VO to convey your story.

I look forward to you next outing. I'm sure we'll be able to see a quantum leap in growth as a filmmaker. :thumbsup:
 
Great Stuff. There should be a" smallest crew" category! Most of the comments already made cover what I was going to say.

VO- I don't think the filter worked; and as others have stated, pulled away from the strength of imagery. I did like the actual wording within the VO though, very poetic and vivid. Yet another one of your talents.

Great imagery. I felt like some of the shots could have used a touch more lighting just to pop the characters a little more.

Effects looked good and were just enough. I like that you didn't take it too far with this. Great composting work also!

Score, best I have heard yet.

I had trouble following the story. I was okay with that as I don't always liked to be hand fed a story. It kept me thinking... this is where I do think the poetry of the VO worked well with the story. So this comment could be positive or negative depending on what your intent was.

The imagery of the "you" in the hat was perfect. Very powerful.

You should be beyond proud of what you have done!

Nice work!
 
mood mood mood mood

did I mention mood

I think this piece did a great job of creating mood

nice feeling of dread

some really nice comps and shots, like going from the vast room to the macro of the hand on the door

not sure what the effect on the vocals was about though

is that a book light?

Couldn't totally follow the story but I got the the black cloaked dude was overtaking the white dude and that was enough

again really liked the mood and its clear that you are both a comproser and a filmmaker as you allowed the image to do a lot of the heavy lifting and the music moved the sstory and image from scene to scene so well

Nice work!

Jack
 
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Mood, mood, mood, best one man film (your a star), story still to be explained? You've created the bestonemanbandmoodscriptyettounfold films of all time.
I applaud you. Good work!
J.P
 
Blaine said:
Voice Over is an easy trap to fall into, especially on a short subject where you're trying to convey a lot of information in a short period of time. It's always best to challenge yourself by not using VO to convey your story.:thumbsup:
Blaine, Thank you so much! Ya... man, consensus here is that the VO is just not working. I was very very hesitant about it too and i'm not a big fan either. I went back and CC'd the entire thing, took out the VO, and I tried to just 'watch', but I found myself having a really hard time following the story. Without the VO, it just kinda drags on and on. I think what I'm going to do is a version without the VO and one with and extended voice without distortion. Perhaps that will explain more of it a little better. And.. of course I'd love to extend the entire story out and perhaps even include the cut scene where I crush a cockroach (ya.. no mercy for those f*ckers.)

Jack Daniel Stanley said:
mood mood mood mood

did I mention mood

I think this piece did a great job of creating mood

nice feeling of dread

some really nice comps and shots, like going from the vast room to the macro of the hand on the door

not sure what the effect on the vocals was about though

is that a book light?

Couldn't totally follow the story but I got the the black cloaked dude was overtaking the white dude and that was enough

again really liked the mood and its clear that you are both a comproser and a filmmaker as you allowed the image to do a lot of the heavy lifting and the music moved the sstory and image from scene to scene so well

Nice work!
Jack
JD, Man, thank you so much for the kind words. If there was one thing I'd want to do better is the music and make it more dynamic. but, perhaps on the next round. Did you mention mood? :) If you guys knew me in real life, you'd know that I'm a pretty easy going, happy guy and here, I created something so friggin' dark and depressing.

yes.. its a book light from RadioShack. It looked cool at the time as I was scavaging through my house for props. Which, I was just making stuff as I went along. Nothing from the story was preplanned in any way or fashion. So.. perhaps that's why the story didn't 'completely' make sense? :)

The effect on the vocals was supposed to be the 'man in black's' perspective. maybe? :)


jpbankesmercer said:
Mood, mood, mood, best one man film (your a star), story still to be explained? You've created the bestonemanbandmoodscriptyettounfold films of all time.
I applaud you. Good work!
J.P
JP... Aye.. yes.. its a mood piece.

Story.. dang. I had no idea it would be this tough on people. :) I see it it pretty plain as day, but that's what happens I suppose when you've been subjected to it for a few days without the contact of other humans giving their second/third opions. Its really great to hear the feedback.

lezzz see. OK, Guy gets a gift from 'the stars above' (science fiction weapon). He uses it for evil things and it takes over him. (although in the right hands, it could be used for good things) (old quote.. "Don't let it fall into the wrong hands"). He increasingly lets go of his old self as he transforms into the new being (the man in black). The man in black is like the 'ghost of christmas past' who watches and follows him. Almost like a spirit who knows its about to be released. (He's the PreAttack for you music fellows out there). The last shot of the movie is the man in white putting on the hat and his eyes turns green showing that he's finally given up and accept his fate as a villain just as the little creature emerging from the shadows has. (which.. in the backstory, is a little boy suspended in time for hundreds of years)

edgen_the_stars_above_p1.jpg


but yes.. HORROR FEST i'll come out with a vengeance!!! :)

:dankk2:again guys! you rock!

/j
 
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the VFX shot list:
edgen_the_stars_above_shotlist.jpg


As you can see, some of them were like.. Meh. bleh. too much time and it doesn't need that much attention. I was wanting to replace the background of outside the window with a futuristic landscape or perhaps some dreary clouds to really push the 'mood' of the piece :)

the double first check is exported. The second check is FX completed, and the circled number is completed and dumped into the final video mix. The doubled circles are the composites of both the man in white and black within a scene. (stupid fyi stuff)

/j
 
Forgot to say. Liked the fx landscape and glowing hand shot. Really...moody...:) ....your film and bonehand suprised me fx wise. Good job.
J.p
 
My kinda movie! I loved the tone, the color, and the mood. Definitly one of the best in this contest. Also, just curious was that a booklight he was holding?
 
MOVIE STUNTS said:
My kinda movie! I loved the tone, the color, and the mood. Definitly one of the best in this contest. Also, just curious was that a booklight he was holding?
Thank you Movie Stunts! Yep.. it was a Radio Shack book light with super powers gifted by the aliens. :) (at least that's what my imagination was thinking)

I rendered another pass of the film just to see what it looks like without the jarbled voice and I think it sounds better. Plus, i lightened it up and that made a big difference too. I think taking out the VO completely you loose the story all together. So, I think i'd like to have some story versus a 'choose your own adventure' direction.

I'll post a link when the polls have closed.
yay! keep em' coming.

/j
 
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