STRANGE DAYS OF JOEY DAVIS - a flyin monkey films production
- Thread starter Rodney V. Smith
- Start date
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
She'd love to meet all of you guys but her trip out to LA is in November of this year so once again, there's a little schedule conflict.(hope you bring Jessica along, too)
Plus she's probably still pissed at me for shooting in Minnesota (not really, but she is looking forward to shooting again... almost did a last minute entry, but CC was kicking my ASS).
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
Didn't matter that none of the films you did posters for got made in time...
Congrats!
Congrats!
lawriejaffa
Veteran
Hey Puck congrats bro!!!!
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
Didn't matter that none of the films you did posters for got made in time...
Thanks dude. The poster thing is the ODDEST thing ever. Better not offer my services next fest...
Woot! Finally made it! Now time for the dance...
Marlon Ladd
Veteran
Jeez, I was looking to see if I'd critiqued your film, Puck! I guess I forgot - of course it was one of the first ones I watched. I guess it's too late now. LOL! Congrats on making the finals, man!!!!
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
I'd still like to get your critique dude. Hit me with it.
DarkElastic
Well-known member
Hi Puck,
I thought I would review even after you got a top 8 finish, well done.
I liked the look of this, some really nice shots. Great looks to your sets, you really gave good eye to detail. The colours you did gave a real dreamy feel to it. The whole door mystery was very good. The creature reminded me of the black shadows in Ghost.
I have to agree with other comments and say the gun was really out of place... You could have found a better way to show her power-hunger and an imaginative way of killing him early on. It never fit her character... This may be a European thing, where guns aren't common place!
The acting was OK, but could have been much better and would have perked this up in places.
Overall, I did enjoy it though. Well done and congrats again.
I thought I would review even after you got a top 8 finish, well done.
I liked the look of this, some really nice shots. Great looks to your sets, you really gave good eye to detail. The colours you did gave a real dreamy feel to it. The whole door mystery was very good. The creature reminded me of the black shadows in Ghost.
I have to agree with other comments and say the gun was really out of place... You could have found a better way to show her power-hunger and an imaginative way of killing him early on. It never fit her character... This may be a European thing, where guns aren't common place!
The acting was OK, but could have been much better and would have perked this up in places.
Overall, I did enjoy it though. Well done and congrats again.
Congrats on making the finals. Sorry I didn't offer my thoughts earlier, kinda dropped off the 'net this weekend. Anywho, overall I enjoyed this. I liked the metaphorical and philosophical concepts at work here, and the story was intriguing. The shot composition and color tone really helped set the mood and feel for the film. Like others, I needed to watch again to process the timeline and catch a few clues throughout. I think this would be a fun piece at ten minutes or so to give you time to really play with the relationship between the two characters. I missed that. I felt just dropped into it with her already at his throat. The soft focus / out of focus / razor thin focus shots took me out of it at times, but that is purely a personal thing. I am horribly near-sighted without corrective lenses (like 6 inches - seriously), so when things are out of focus that are the main "focus" of the image, it distracts me, makes me think its me and takes me out of the moment. Since it happened throughout the film, it felt like a deliberate style choice, so I can appreciate it from that point of view.
Congrats again. Have fun in L.A.!
Congrats again. Have fun in L.A.!
Marlon Ladd
Veteran
Okay, Puck. Here goes - The cinematography was excellent. I really liked the dolly shot in the beginning where they were walking to the door. There were a couple of shots that I didn't think worked very well and the one that stands out and comes to mind is when the guy had just come back in the house from running (I think) and he was telling the girl to get out. There was a side shot of him (CU) that kind of seemed out of place. I can't remember what the other one was, but other than that, I think the shots you picked were excellent.
The door was very cool and I kept trying to figure out how you did that. When I couldn't do that, it made it all the more real and magical.
I think the concept of the story was pretty good and the whole key thing was great. To see all those keys and key designs on the wall was something else that made this story seem so real. I felt like you payed attention to detail and that's very important to make a story believeable. The gunshots were fine I think, but there were a couple of times when she was holding the gun, especially at the end when they were in front of the door, where the gun looked really fake (to me). There was one shot from the front and another one where it showed the gun from behind. It may have worked for everybody else (I think it did), but maybe for me being a filmmaker (action guy), I was looking very hard at that. That just might be a nit-picking thing for me, so I wouldn't worry too much.
I usually always talk about acting in my critiques, because I'm an actor and I feel like in order to really pull off a story, you have to have good acting. I thought the acting worked good enough to pull off the story, but other than that, I felt it could have been better. Some of their reactions were not strong enough and some of them weren't consistent. What I mean by that is this: there was a time during the conversation when he told her to leave that their conversation and tones, reactions and intensity didn't match each other (IMHO). They should be reacting to each other and playing off of what the other person says and not just reacting (because it says so in the script). It seemed as if their parts were filmed at two different times (I'm sure they weren't), because the guy told her to leave in a sort of calm way and then she said something and then he gets loud all of a sudden and it just didn't seem to match. Also, I noticed their last walk to the door - I thought there was a little too much acting there on both their parts. She was acting too much like she was going crazy doing the typical acting things (when someone wants to show they're crazy), like raising both hands to her head and shaking her head and etc. and he was walking with a sort of overexaggerated limp, like he could barely stand up. He got shot in the arm, so what he was doing seemed a bit much for that. He definately would be in pain and walking slow, but the rest of that just didn't seem to match. Other than that, like I said, it was definitely good enough to pull off the story.
I also really enjoyed the music score. I felt like it went really well. It was so good that you didn't even think about it. You just let it put you in the mood of what was going on with the story. Good editing job as well.
That's just my 2 cents! Good luck, good job and again, congrats!!!
The door was very cool and I kept trying to figure out how you did that. When I couldn't do that, it made it all the more real and magical.
I think the concept of the story was pretty good and the whole key thing was great. To see all those keys and key designs on the wall was something else that made this story seem so real. I felt like you payed attention to detail and that's very important to make a story believeable. The gunshots were fine I think, but there were a couple of times when she was holding the gun, especially at the end when they were in front of the door, where the gun looked really fake (to me). There was one shot from the front and another one where it showed the gun from behind. It may have worked for everybody else (I think it did), but maybe for me being a filmmaker (action guy), I was looking very hard at that. That just might be a nit-picking thing for me, so I wouldn't worry too much.
I usually always talk about acting in my critiques, because I'm an actor and I feel like in order to really pull off a story, you have to have good acting. I thought the acting worked good enough to pull off the story, but other than that, I felt it could have been better. Some of their reactions were not strong enough and some of them weren't consistent. What I mean by that is this: there was a time during the conversation when he told her to leave that their conversation and tones, reactions and intensity didn't match each other (IMHO). They should be reacting to each other and playing off of what the other person says and not just reacting (because it says so in the script). It seemed as if their parts were filmed at two different times (I'm sure they weren't), because the guy told her to leave in a sort of calm way and then she said something and then he gets loud all of a sudden and it just didn't seem to match. Also, I noticed their last walk to the door - I thought there was a little too much acting there on both their parts. She was acting too much like she was going crazy doing the typical acting things (when someone wants to show they're crazy), like raising both hands to her head and shaking her head and etc. and he was walking with a sort of overexaggerated limp, like he could barely stand up. He got shot in the arm, so what he was doing seemed a bit much for that. He definately would be in pain and walking slow, but the rest of that just didn't seem to match. Other than that, like I said, it was definitely good enough to pull off the story.
I also really enjoyed the music score. I felt like it went really well. It was so good that you didn't even think about it. You just let it put you in the mood of what was going on with the story. Good editing job as well.
That's just my 2 cents! Good luck, good job and again, congrats!!!
jessicalsin
Well-known member
Congrats sir, I hope you make it to the screening. (hope you bring Jessica along, too
You are to cute. Wish i could, but I have a wedding to attend that weekend, maybe next time!
Love and Hugs to all the people who made the finals!
Kick butt you guys!
xox
Tim Joy
Veteran
Puck. You rock, buddy. Especially for the enthusiasm and energy to put something like this together in a foreign land no less.
It was very cinematic and I really liked that aspect. The moving shots, lighting and grading helping out. Color correction was a little uneven here and there, but it didn't distract too much. If you scroll to just about any random spot and pause it looks like a storyboard or a Movie the tells a story. That's awesome.
I noticed the sky replacement, and it took me out of it a little. ...not totally convincing. I guess a big ugly white sky would have been plain, but maybe splitting the difference would make it more convincing?
I liked how the music moved the piece along well and also supported the bigger cinematic quality. The music itself was very good, but the samples and mixing could be better and make it sound more realistic.
I liked the concept of this mysterious door, and how he was the only one that could open it. And because we knew it would be about this door, it gave us a little head-start to jump into the story. Again, great shots of the door and the glowing keyhole. I'm way into magical stuff like this. However, I wasn't liking her gun-toting approach to get access to that door, and that aspect of the story let me down. I think at the point after you introduce the fact that she wants to get in there, you should tease us more with the, "what's behind the door?". Instead, it was just :kali: Personally, I think when ever you put a gun in a movie just to give a character power, you're cheating. That goes for you Tarts too! but that's just me...
The payoff for the story, where she gets eaten by the dark fog, is quite satisfactory, because she played the hardcore b!tch-type very well, and I wanted to kill her. I thought his acting felt natural and convincing.
Now the sound-- Very good sound. I didn't have any issues that took me out of it. Obviously, you can see that it makes a huge difference to preserve the performances to get clean dialog. Well done.
One thing that was off was the compression. I think it will look better if you shrink the frame size, and de-interlace before compressing. There's some nasty compressed interlace artifacts in there.
In conclusion, the middle of your script was the weakest link in this one for me. The technical side of these was nicely done, and only distracted a couple times, as I mentioned. The strongest aspect was the cinematography. I suspect you were very focused on that and it showed. Overall, I enjoyed it and was impressed with your progress.
Congrats on making it to the finalists. I'm really happy for you!
It was very cinematic and I really liked that aspect. The moving shots, lighting and grading helping out. Color correction was a little uneven here and there, but it didn't distract too much. If you scroll to just about any random spot and pause it looks like a storyboard or a Movie the tells a story. That's awesome.
I noticed the sky replacement, and it took me out of it a little. ...not totally convincing. I guess a big ugly white sky would have been plain, but maybe splitting the difference would make it more convincing?
I liked how the music moved the piece along well and also supported the bigger cinematic quality. The music itself was very good, but the samples and mixing could be better and make it sound more realistic.
I liked the concept of this mysterious door, and how he was the only one that could open it. And because we knew it would be about this door, it gave us a little head-start to jump into the story. Again, great shots of the door and the glowing keyhole. I'm way into magical stuff like this. However, I wasn't liking her gun-toting approach to get access to that door, and that aspect of the story let me down. I think at the point after you introduce the fact that she wants to get in there, you should tease us more with the, "what's behind the door?". Instead, it was just :kali:
Personally, I think when ever you put a gun in a movie just to give a character power, you're cheating. That goes for you Tarts too! but that's just me...The payoff for the story, where she gets eaten by the dark fog, is quite satisfactory, because she played the hardcore b!tch-type very well, and I wanted to kill her. I thought his acting felt natural and convincing.
Now the sound-- Very good sound. I didn't have any issues that took me out of it. Obviously, you can see that it makes a huge difference to preserve the performances to get clean dialog. Well done.
One thing that was off was the compression. I think it will look better if you shrink the frame size, and de-interlace before compressing. There's some nasty compressed interlace artifacts in there.
In conclusion, the middle of your script was the weakest link in this one for me. The technical side of these was nicely done, and only distracted a couple times, as I mentioned. The strongest aspect was the cinematography. I suspect you were very focused on that and it showed. Overall, I enjoyed it and was impressed with your progress.
Congrats on making it to the finalists. I'm really happy for you!
Chris_Keaton
ScriptFEST Mod
Hey Puck, see Tim could more eloquently express what I felt about the :kali:. Emoticons are cool. :cheesy:
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
Eloquence from Tim? You gotta be kidding me!
Thanks for the review guys. Your perspectives are always valuable and taken much to heart. Both Tim and Marlon have pointed out some aspects of the film that were a bit jarring and I seem to be losing the "gun battle" as it were so I'm just going to throw my co-writer Andrew Stoute under the bus for that one. While it would have been fun to do The Many Deaths of Joey Davis and showed the different ways Ari tried to kill him, the gun seemed the best solution especially given the time frame and the need to move the story constantly forward.
The middle part of the film did suffer a little bit since so much had to be compressed to fit within a 45 second time frame... so much more I wanted to tell there as well, but truthfully in the longer edit, that part dragged a little and it wasn't as riveting as it is now. Yes we lost some great performances but we gained IMPACT and a more compelling film as a whole.
Compression sucks since this was my first time exporting from AE for Color Correction and I may have chosen the wrong export settings, Turns out that exporting using Adobe Media Encoder is not the best way to go for After Effects at all. The After Effects render engine that outputs to lossless avi is definitely the only way to go. My final corrected Color Correction files for the screening should be a hell of a lot improved.
Thanks for all of your input guys. I look forward to meeting whichever of you ends up in LA for the screening.
Thanks for all of your support and for taking this film into the finals.
Thanks for the review guys. Your perspectives are always valuable and taken much to heart. Both Tim and Marlon have pointed out some aspects of the film that were a bit jarring and I seem to be losing the "gun battle" as it were so I'm just going to throw my co-writer Andrew Stoute under the bus for that one. While it would have been fun to do The Many Deaths of Joey Davis and showed the different ways Ari tried to kill him, the gun seemed the best solution especially given the time frame and the need to move the story constantly forward.
The middle part of the film did suffer a little bit since so much had to be compressed to fit within a 45 second time frame... so much more I wanted to tell there as well, but truthfully in the longer edit, that part dragged a little and it wasn't as riveting as it is now. Yes we lost some great performances but we gained IMPACT and a more compelling film as a whole.
Compression sucks since this was my first time exporting from AE for Color Correction and I may have chosen the wrong export settings, Turns out that exporting using Adobe Media Encoder is not the best way to go for After Effects at all. The After Effects render engine that outputs to lossless avi is definitely the only way to go. My final corrected Color Correction files for the screening should be a hell of a lot improved.
Thanks for all of your input guys. I look forward to meeting whichever of you ends up in LA for the screening.
Thanks for all of your support and for taking this film into the finals.
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
LMAO, sorry that comment cracked me up.
Tim Joy
Veteran
Sorry if I'm a harsh critic. :embarasse Hopefully it's constructive and please know that I liked it more than it might sound like.
I think it's really tough to make the "perfect" 6-min film, or a good film of any length, and much easier said than done... which is what keeps me back here trying to do better each time. (something I didn't achieve this time) But you totally did, in a bunch of ways, and that's something to be very proud of. :thumbup::thumbup:
Rodney V. Smith
DVXFest Promo Guru
Dont ever stop. LOVE your reviews. Always thoughtful and insightful.