My student film.

Weird little short.

The problem I had with it was, aside from the story just going everywhere and not having a clear idea, it felt like there wasn't a clear identity, or style. I mean I wasn't sure if it was serious, if it was a comedy, or if it was experimental. It didn't feel like it was trying to blend styles either. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in following guidelines to place your film in a genre, but it's the fact that I wasn't sure how to feel about it or think about it that bugged me.

As for the story, well like I said it's everywhere. I mean yes, it's just like how a kid would make a story, which is normally everywhere, but to keep us watching as a film, it should have a bit more of a linear story, or there should be a connection between everything. Remember, film making isn't reality, it only mimics reality. Reality is actually very boring and doesn't work for film.

The effects were cheesy, which I suppose works, but it felt a bit too amateurish for me. There are ways it could have been done better.

The black void at the beginning didn't look that good. I would have gone with a forest instead. You could have made the beginning very serious, shot docu style, with some ominous war music to go along, up until the bear pops out from behind a tree, which would have made the punch line much funnier.

The acting was over the top, but I feel it worked for this.

Last thing is, please de-interlace. There's an option for that in the editing program you used. It make's it look aweful without de-intelacing (all those digital lines).

Anyways, good job, keep on working on it. Find your style, make it clear and straight forward, and be sure if it's trying to be funny, that it's really funny.

Oh, and please try and sound mix your work next time. Sounds were at all kinds of levels. I had to put up my speakers to hear some of them speak, but then an added sound would go BOOM in my speakers. the levels were everywhere, and you shouldn't have to adjust your speakers to listen to it.
 
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I agree that sound levels are all over the place.

You have a few interesting shots at the begining but then you kinda throw it off with some shaky shots.

The writing was a little weird, but i thought that the acting on your main actor was really good. I mean hes up there with that guy on lost, not shabby at all.

I see where you went with it, and i like the whole existential self awareness kinda thing so you can kinda get away with some of the weirdness of it, by that, but overall i think you kinda stretched it a little long for a someting that could have been slightly shorter.

Id like to see more from you.
 
Thanks! When I did write the script I wanted to make it as simple as possible and was trying to confuse the audience as much as possible. I did the editing on FCP 5 (except for the quake part) I plan to re digitize the movie and edit this again.
 
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