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Just finished a video on suicide help. With gh1, check it out.
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I like the soft look it has to it!
Also I liked the sound design, transition and the ending very much.
Some criticism;
Shaky footage @ 0:18
Jump cut @ 0:26
to much text imo, maybe let a voice-over do the text from 10-13 and only show 14? (a general rule in film is "don't tell em show em").
leave out the background @ 0:34 it breaks the illusion of that soft look.
leave out the last quote.
as a suggestion maybe show some family member crying or a knife with blood or something that has to do with suicide.
hope that helps ;p
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Shaky footage was pretty distracting. I liked the video until it got to the whole god part!"That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again."
http://www.robmneilson.com
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Originally posted by robmneilson View PostShaky footage was pretty distracting. I liked the video until it got to the whole god part!
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On a purely technical level, I agree with a previous poster that a sombre voiceover would work better than text. But then it wouldn't jive with the message you are trying to convey.Last edited by seanmcleod; 06-17-2011, 08:11 PM.
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Might want to take the shaky shots into motion and do a quick stabilize it can do wonders for a simple shot."That's what happened to this friend of mine. So he had a lobotomy. Now he's well again."
http://www.robmneilson.com
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I read the comments and was ready for motion sickness, but didn't find it too shaky. Also, I think the music and images convey the emotional tone, the text conveys the message, and it's balanced in a way that introducing a "somber" voice could detract. Too corny, too maudlin, whatever. And also, I don't know if it was a serious suggestion, but don't throw in a shot of a bloody knife or something to sensationalize. I'll just say I'm with you on the message and it's delivered well and that's that.
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