A Safe Place to Be - DVXuser.com -- The online community for filmmaking

ACarpentier · 03-09-2009, 12:00 PM

A Safe Place to Be

Written by Alex Whitmer

Starring Brooklyn Garrision (http://brooklyngarrison.wordpress.com/)
and
Louie Lawless: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2623547/)

Director/Editor: Adam Carpentier
First AD: Luke Pygman
Second AD: Brendan Schmidt
Props: Kelsey Kertz, Jess Piersee, Donald Duncan

Michael Anthony Horrigan · 03-09-2009, 12:05 PM

Welcome!

Good luck in the Fest.
There's a typo in your thread title. Might want to ask a Mod to fix it.

Cheers,

Mike

Rodney V. Smith · 03-09-2009, 01:19 PM

Welcome and good luck!

preston · 03-09-2009, 01:58 PM

welcome, congrats on getting in, and good luck!

Michael Anthony Horrigan · 03-09-2009, 02:04 PM

Title is fixed!

Alex can write a great script. This should be pretty good.

Cheers,

MAH

Richard J. Johnson · 03-10-2009, 09:06 AM

Good script. I thought it could have been color corrected that would have really given it the feel it needed and balanced it out. other than that great job.

ramsaur · 03-10-2009, 12:02 PM

Good writing alex! When the grandpa died I could have seen the girl in tears and sometimes I couldn't hear what they were saying (had my volume up all the way).

Noel Evans · 03-10-2009, 02:46 PM

Well working with kids is tough. I thought she handled the material OK. Though I think a more mature actor would have pulled this piece together quite a bit more. (not talking age here).

Not sure all the dialogue worked for me.

There were a few shots in there I thought thats pretty, and then a few not of the same level which made them stand out even more.

Overall a fine effort on some tough material.

Will Clegg · 03-10-2009, 06:01 PM

Interesting script - I thought the actors did ok with it. The score didn't really do it for me though, I found it a bit distracting as it didn't seem to fit the tone.

I think a little work on the color grade would really go a long way to setting the mood for this piece, but it was a solid effort all the same.

Brian Parker · 03-11-2009, 01:16 AM

Interesting piece. When I realized where the girl was going at the end, I was like wow...that is depressing. I do think that the actors did a fairly good job.

I liked some of your shots and compositions and the location worked for the material. The script was written well. The biggest issue I have is that there were some moments were sound went in and out. I know how challenging working with sound can be (trust me.) Anyway, good job.

03-09-2009, 12:00 PM	#1
ACarpentier Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 4	A Safe Place to Be A Safe Place to Be Written by Alex Whitmer Starring Brooklyn Garrision (http://brooklyngarrison.wordpress.com/) and Louie Lawless: (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2623547/) Director/Editor: Adam Carpentier First AD: Luke Pygman Second AD: Brendan Schmidt Props: Kelsey Kertz, Jess Piersee, Donald Duncan

03-09-2009, 12:05 PM	#2
Michael Anthony Horrigan More Cowbell Pictures Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ottawa Posts: 7,872	Welcome! Good luck in the Fest. There's a typo in your thread title. Might want to ask a Mod to fix it. Cheers, Mike __________________ Six Time DVXFEST finalist willing to write scripts for THRILLFEST MONSTERFEST : 4th Place - Sustained Excellence Award - WESTFEST: 3rd Place Last edited by Michael Anthony Horrigan; 03-09-2009 at 12:13 PM.

03-09-2009, 01:19 PM	#3
Rodney V. Smith DVXFest Promo Guru Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Atlanta, GA/Toronto, Can/Brooklyn,NY Posts: 5,531	Welcome and good luck! __________________ DVXFEST ENTRIES Anniversary \| Act II \|The Trade \| Falling Up \| Keeper of the Lost The Strange Days of Joey Davis \| Flower \| Mirror Mirror Rodney Smith - Flyin' Monkey Films Writer/Director/Cinematographer Website \| IMDB Link \| Web Series HVX200, Brevis35+Flip, Glidecam V-8

03-09-2009, 01:58 PM	#4
preston Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: planet earth Posts: 485	welcome, congrats on getting in, and good luck! __________________ (click banner to watch film on vimeo) Take - dvxuser LossFest 2009 :: Solstice - dvxuser Scriptfest III 2008 2nd place The Vanishing - dvxuser Scriptfest II 2008 :: To Kill a Rock Star - dvxuser Drama-Fest 2007

03-09-2009, 02:04 PM	#5
Michael Anthony Horrigan More Cowbell Pictures Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ottawa Posts: 7,872	Title is fixed! Alex can write a great script. This should be pretty good. Cheers, MAH __________________ Six Time DVXFEST finalist willing to write scripts for THRILLFEST MONSTERFEST : 4th Place - Sustained Excellence Award - WESTFEST: 3rd Place

03-10-2009, 09:06 AM	#6
Richard J. Johnson Joystick Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Maryland Posts: 4,745	Good script. I thought it could have been color corrected that would have really given it the feel it needed and balanced it out. other than that great job. __________________ Canon 7D+Teddybear T-Finder+Tamron & Canon Glass+lighting+a bunch of other stuff+2 Beautiful Babies. "Torn" Available now! http://www.rsquaredfilms.com/films/torn.html Vimeo Channel: http://vimeo.com/channels/47561 "RaZoRbLaDe cItY" December 2010. A Maverick Entertainment Release

03-10-2009, 12:02 PM	#7
ramsaur Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 1,108	Good writing alex! When the grandpa died I could have seen the girl in tears and sometimes I couldn't hear what they were saying (had my volume up all the way). __________________ www \| twitter \| facebook \| youtube

03-10-2009, 02:46 PM	#8
Noel Evans Mod v2.0 Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: ON THE BEAUTIFUL GOLD COAST, AUSTRALIA Posts: 6,786	Well working with kids is tough. I thought she handled the material OK. Though I think a more mature actor would have pulled this piece together quite a bit more. (not talking age here). Not sure all the dialogue worked for me. There were a few shots in there I thought thats pretty, and then a few not of the same level which made them stand out even more. Overall a fine effort on some tough material. __________________ SDC Productions Gold Coast Aust. HPX502 / 5dmkii with Ziess primes available. Red Capable editing and colour grading suite for hire. admin@scarlet-films.com 61 408 455 374 Check out the forgotten bomb trailer. Hiroshima Broll / principal cinematography - Noel Evans http://theforgottenbomb.com/trailer.html

03-10-2009, 06:01 PM	#9
Will Clegg Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Hoboken, NJ Posts: 1,007	Interesting script - I thought the actors did ok with it. The score didn't really do it for me though, I found it a bit distracting as it didn't seem to fit the tone. I think a little work on the color grade would really go a long way to setting the mood for this piece, but it was a solid effort all the same.

03-11-2009, 01:16 AM	#10
Brian Parker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 684	Interesting piece. When I realized where the girl was going at the end, I was like wow...that is depressing. I do think that the actors did a fairly good job. I liked some of your shots and compositions and the location worked for the material. The script was written well. The biggest issue I have is that there were some moments were sound went in and out. I know how challenging working with sound can be (trust me.) Anyway, good job. __________________

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