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    Senior Member Shaun Patrick's Avatar
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    Jun 2005
    San Francisco
    I echo most of the technical/story critiques but I must compliment you on the concept. It's really funny and, for the most part, the film delivers. It's just the technical things start to distract from the story after awhile. Good job and I hope to see more stuff in the future....

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    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    Nov 2004
    Vancouver (not BC), Washington (not DC).
    Not reading the other posts, I wish the camera didn't just bounce back & forth between the three zeros for as long as it did.

    I thought the flaming zero was funny in his deliver, and also liked rewind man ... didn't care for stretch too much.

    For a girl hero that's supposed to be hot, I would have used a more attractive mask to really sell it, unless it's all supposed to be campy across the board.

    Also liked the waitress who was waiting on them, and the very opening character was good (the really upbeat guy).
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    Fest Master Larry Rutledge's Avatar
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    Aug 2004
    Nashville, TN
    Note: I haven't read the other posts yet, so I may repeat comments that have already been made.

    I wasn't particularly fond of this one, there didn't seem to be much story beyond pointing out how gay Flamer was...and a couple guys who wanted to find these zeros.

    I did not like the camera constantly panning back and forth across the table to each of the guys as they spoke. Perhaps you were "trying out" alternatives to wide/cu/ots sequences, but I don't think it worked well.

    The dialog all had an echo to it like they were in a cave talking and the color seemed straight out of the camera, would like to have seen some work done to at least improve the contrast, particularly in the exterior scene.

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    Thanks for the comments, but actually the shots were processed after.
    The look was intentional, but since you didn't seem to care for any of the movie i can see why these points would stick out to you more then the average person. But the story was ment to focus on these 3 "zeros" not necessarily Flamers "gay" self. Sorry if you took it that way.

    Thanks again!

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    Senior Member Cryogenic Filmworks's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    D/FW Metroplex
    I thought the concept was funny. Not into the "gay" thing but I thought you pulled if off real well in this. It may not have been the intention for him to be the focus but it was it worked I thought. The arm thing was funny. Wish you could have lost the mask on the chick so we could see what she really looked like. The camera panning back and forth was a real turnoff. The lighting needed some work (as does my stuff), the audio was ok, the music just seemed to be thrown in there. It does have potential though.

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    I've been working on the extended cut of this, it runs about 9minutes with credits. The Camera panning is now sped up so it becomes less of an issue.
    The pacing is more quick as a result. Lighting was hard in a place like that
    as it was a bar and we had only 1 softbox as our secondary light fried during rehearsal. Either way all good. I will be hosting the extended cut after voting is over tonight.

    I did change a few things to include a couple of songs that are copyrighted
    to show the additional scenes. But since this ext cut is not for the DVD and
    just for fun i don't see the harm.

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    Hey guys, for anyone who is still interested in seeing the 9:30second version
    reworked please download it from this link.


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