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    #21
    Senior Member Edgen's Avatar
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    Music video. I can agree to that I suppose.

    I suppose I can explain what the story is about, but a good film you shouldn't have to .. So... I guess my film is just not that good. but hey. it was the thought that counts right?

    The story:


    More or less, the man in black is the man in white. Its almost as though he's the future looking in and "What's to come". The man in white is 'gifted' a case to him. He's a regular guy in a regular life. The contents of the briefcase changes him... turning him bad. There was a shot of the guy white killing a cockroach but I thought it really didn't fit in the film. I wanted a 'progression' of his down fall of his killing. The contents of the case has been passed down through generations and ultimately came to this guy. His 'body' had died and the little guy with the green eyes (short/quick shot of him emerging from the shadows after he picks up the case) was actually the body before him. A boy. (in my story) So the boy's body became mangled and torn from time. Like a mummy almost. So it was time to pass the 'gift' onto someone else. Why he passed it on is a whole other story.

    So basically the guy in black is a future image of the guy in white. Hence the last shot of him putting on the hat transforming and merging the two characters into one.

    I'd love to post some of the VFX shots. Are we allowed to do that yet? And.. behind the scenes stuff.

    Music was pre existing tracks of mine simply because I didn't have the time to make new sounds. Perhaps on a future release I'll really focus on a score that fits the mood a little better. This is the part i'm most unhappy with myself. (and a few dodgy green screen and a blurry camera shot which, i'm sure If i had someone there doing the rack focuses, I could have pulled them off)

    Hope that helps and makes sense.

    Bottom line.. This was fun as shi* and I'm soooo excited and looking forward to working on the next one. AND.. My original script that I wrote for this hero fest is completely different and perhaps one of these days I'll go ahead and make that movie too. Ahhh.. time. just need more time.

    and beer.

    /j
    Last edited by Edgen; 06-06-2006 at 12:09 PM.


    justin r. durban -
    yup & yup.



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    #22
    Two-Hip Shakur Beat Takeshi's Avatar
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    I will check this out again tomorrow night now that I read that.
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    #23
    Junior Member DarrenRyan's Avatar
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    I thought your score was the strongest part, and the V.O. took me out of rather than into the stroy. It would be really cool to see this film with just the score and no V.O. and see the result interms of story. To me it would be cool for the visuals to communicate everything. I am a little wierd that way though. Nice work.


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    #24
    Senior Member Mike McNeese's Avatar
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    Edgen, I'm not a fan of VO no matter what. It has its uses, and I can see how useful a tool it was in making a 5:00 superhero movie...there's lots of story that has to be communicated to the viewer in a very short time. I'm gonna venture to say that your visuals and your score do the communicating for you! I don't know how your film would work without the VO, but I think you did a good job in actually thinking through what you wanted to communicate when setting up a shot...wide shot, low angle, CU, etc...I can see that you thought that out. The VO took me away from that.
    Mike McNeese
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    #25
    Senior Member Edgen's Avatar
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    THanks for the input. Yep.. perhaps once the voting it finished, I'll do another re-render of the movie without the VO just to see how that goes. And, i'll replace it with a complete overhaul of sound design. (there's an asston of it in there anyway)

    I am wondering if I should have added a little extra more lines would have made the difference. Or.. perhaps take the 'garbled' sound out. Dunno.. lost o' options.

    cheers!

    And ya... if you any of you guys have any HaRDCore Crits.. I can take them so bring em on. I'm willing to learn from this. its the biggest one that I've done myself. besides that was my short , "The Golden Pineapple" which was shot with my Sony CYBERshot PC10 digital camera in movie mode. www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple



    (been involved in LOTS of other films though. just not my own)

    /j
    Last edited by Edgen; 06-07-2006 at 12:23 PM.


    justin r. durban -
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    #26
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    Justin, I liked it! Still recovering from the fact you did this all on your own. ;-)

    Nice dark atmosphere! The score and sound design fit perfectly together. At most times I experienced the score and sound design as a single layer of sound, perfectly blending, which I thought was very cool to experience in a film.

    The tension builds up smoothly - Visually a very nice film too!

    Too bad I can't vote :-)

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    #27
    Senior Member Edgen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herman Witkam
    Justin, I liked it! Still recovering from the fact you did this all on your own. ;-)

    Nice dark atmosphere! The score and sound design fit perfectly together. At most times I experienced the score and sound design as a single layer of sound, perfectly blending, which I thought was very cool to experience in a film.

    The tension builds up smoothly - Visually a very nice film too!

    Too bad I can't vote :-)
    Ha!! thank ya! well, you have 91 more comments to make on these films and then you can! ;)

    I'm glad you liked it and yep. I'm a one man show on this one. Hopefully the next fest I'll have a LOT more help. Plus, the next one has a bigger deadline and I have more time to lolly dag around.

    /j


    justin r. durban -
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    #28
    Senior Member Shaun Patrick's Avatar
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    Knowing that you did everything yourself, it was fun to watch the short a second time to see the types of shots/compositions you were able to accomplish. I'm blown away that you were able to do so much.

    Also, as Envision mentioned, for someone just learning After Effects, there is a lot of great VFX work in here. The score, too, is great and, IMO, is the strongest part of the piece. As Herman mentioned above, the score builds very smoothly without becoming overbearing.

    In terms of story, though, I found the majority of it to be pretty incomprehensible. The VO and visuals seem to be working against each other--in that the VO (specifically how the voice is filtered) is really overbearing. I found myself not being drawn into the story (or caring about the story for that matter) because of the VO.

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    #29
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    I loved this short...but didn't get the story at all. It was shot really well, and evoked a very distinctive mood. If the story/script had come together more comprehensively, you'd have really nailed it. Very admirable considering you did it all alone. And hey, as you say, it's a V.O. so you can always amend it.


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    #30
    Senior Member MiataFilmSomething's Avatar
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    Watched this one twice.

    Pros - Some good camera angles and uses of color. I'm uber impressed that you did this yourself. The only movies I've made myself are crappy Lego Stop Motion shorts. My hat is off to you!

    Cons - Yeah, the whole VO thing, and the story was a little confusing, but oh well, you did this yourself and it's a major accomplishment. You should be proud.

    Overall - Did you say you did this yourself? ;)
    "...and knowing is half the battle. The other half is violence..."


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