The Waiver by TheYankee/Jeremy Ordan

[Norm Sanders]

Just skimmed through the reviews. Yep, your Dad in there was a nice touch, and added diversity to the film ... good shot, BTW.

Dahopa's comments never cease to make me laugh, and his part about his wife walking in during that shot ... exact same stuff that was going through my mind when the film opened, though I'm also sure it gripped 99% of the male population that was watching it. And at least 1/2 of them will agree that it didn't need to be there, in hindsight.

[EditPhish]

Yankee,

I kinda feel bad criticizing your film when you're a bit hard on yourself already, but I'll give you some of my initial impressions...

The music KILLED it for me right from the start... annoying is the only way I can describe it... it was really distracting and grating.

I thought some of the transitions were a bit cheesy. Your framing choices were okay, but it felt like the editing was too simple... holding on shots too long... like when they're in bed talking just watching it was kinda boring.

The sex was annoyingly unneccessary, and watching him piss was also rather gratuitous (or felt that way).

The effect when she's running down the hallway was kinda interesting.

The story was a little... wacky? Not sure how else to put it. I didn't find it boring, but I didn't find it interesting either... it was just there. And the end, with her being crazy, seemed to come out of no where, like you backed yourself into a corner and didn't know how where to go when you got there - so crazy was the easy way out.

I did like the bit where she asks if it's going to hurt (and never gets an answer) -- and she's remember the things the doctor told her and the signing the waiver. Problem is, they seemed to be meant as humorous and the rest of the story didn't play as funny to me.

Sorry to be so harsh... I think ultimately, the story lacked first and everything kinda followed. It could have been an interesting concept, but I think you need to work on every aspect -- and I'm right there with ya, learning as I go too, so please don't be too offended!

Thanks for sharing your efforts with us!

[THX-1138]

Next time prepare more, alot more.

The bones of your short are good, tried and true sci-fi. They have been done before but that's no reason not to do them again. But, you then, have to be better and more cleaver than the previous filmmakers.

Enough has been said about your films short commings and I'm glad you entered. You finished and turned something in....better than some on this user group...at least you're in the game.

Next time I want you to make something that you don't immediatly critisize.

Kip Kubin

[Jeremy Ordan]

Next time prepare more, alot more.

I appreciate everyone's feedback but wanted to respond to something. I'm trying to figure out how to say this without coming off as defensive, but if there is a possible problem that you can encounter, we encountered it on this project. I felt that since I had made a commitment by saying I was going to shoot a sci fi we were going to continue to roll with the punches and everything else and complete this project, but at the same time, we had a lot of problems. We lost three locations that we were shooting at, three actors (including one child, hence the rewrites on the set), and tons of other hickups along the way. All that being said, we still shot and completed something that while it does not match the vision that I originally had, still has a flow that I think is decent. Regarding planning, with the deadline on this project there was no way to plan around it, so I personally think comments about planning better or work on the script are unfair. Our original script wasn't shot, but we did rewrite as we went through the entire process. Furthermore, planning, well, when things go wrong and you have a deadline you roll with the punches.

I appreciate everyone's comments and feedback as I feel that is the point of these festivals, but at the same time, something has to be said for overcoming the adversity that you encounter and completing your project to the best of your ability with everything that has gone wrong.

[arielman]

Read your intro .Way too hard on yourself . I can relate to the Problems you had , ours was the weather.
Anyway here it is ......I thought you did a great job with this , the only problem I had and it is a small one , was the pictures of the girl with blood running down her face I felt this wasn't needed .
O yes loved the opening scene .

TheYankee , just read your above post . I hear you . Can you spare some of your talent ?..lol.. You did a great job with what was dealt you and YOU SUBMITTED a Film for us to enjoy.

Ian

[Ought2bCommitted]

Hey Jeremy!
Finally got some time to start watching and reviewing the flicks.

I liked yours. Kudos to you for not only opening with a sex scene but one that was totally unnecessary!!! Way to go!!! :-)

On the visual end, I really enjoyed it. The car sequence was awesome, and I'm sure its been commented on. You have some really nice images in there.

The weakest part is the story/script. It leaves the viewer with too many of the wrong kind of questions. Some polish on the script end and you would have had a really stunning short visually and story-wise.

Overall I wasn't disappointed. Really nice work!!!! Way to go!

-Robert

[Jeremy Ordan]

Ian, thank you very much for the comments. I greatly appreciate it. I really think that this isn't the greatest film in the world (obvious from my own critique of the film), but I was able to work with an amazing cast who really did give this project their everything, especially with all the constant changes that were going on.

While this film is neither the film I set out to make, nor is it the film that I had in mind, I really think that it is watchable. I thank everyone for their comments and look forward to the next festival.

Jeremy

[Ought2bCommitted]

Hey Jeremy-
Is you movie on the voting ballot or have I gone completely blind?

[arielman]

Hey Jeremy-
Is you movie on the voting ballot or have I gone completely blind?

Ditto that . Went to mark and not there .
Ian

[Ought2bCommitted]

Ditto that . Went to mark and not there .
Ian

Envision said they had updated the ballot at some point.
Just insert a row and copy the formula, and change it to the appropriate line number.