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    You do you culture
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    Would love to hear people's observations, thoughts, opinions on this. Also particularly curious to hear from old timers with more life experience. What are your thoughts on, and have you noticed, a progressive and sometimes imperceptible trajectory towards a culture of "you do you"? And if so, do you see it is as a net win or a net loss?

    To clarify, I've noticed that discussions in culture decreasingly happen in the interest of reaching superior understanding - not just in the public sphere where the goal is to "win" rather than to learn, but also in the private sphere interpersonally. It seems the tenor has shifted from a classical ideal of person A bring a point, and person B bringing a counter point, and playing a bit of round robin until both parties elevate to a more integrated perspective. Not that this always would or could happen, of course, but that it was the ideal.

    It seems the de facto standard today is bit more rooted not in a pursuit of knowledge or truth, but rather in a defense of personal perspective. Where the old ideal of "agree to disagree" was often the net result of a robust discussion that may end in a stalemate over a couple key points that both parties could identify as the source of their disagreement; the new ideal is where "agree to disagree" is no longer the destination, but the starting point - the vehicle in which we begin. And such a seemingly subtle shifted, in actuality, fundamentally changes everything.

    In prior years consensus seemed to be that disagreement was good/natural/healthy - it would just be the way in which a person disagrees that may be disrespectful. The cultural tenor seems to be shifting instead to disagreement itself being disrespectful, under the idea that to disagree is to claim one's personal truth as superior to another's personal truth.

    It seems this steers us as a people down a regressive path - where communication over disagreement becomes near impossible, akin to pre-language days, and we enter a state of tribalism.

    I'd love to hear thoughts and perspectives. Is this sort of shift actually for the better and part of building a more accepting world, or is this a problematic shift that will divide people further with no verbal means for recourse?


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    Senior Member Eric Coughlin's Avatar
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    I think we're going to have to agree to disagree on this one. I mean, you do you.

    As for me, I'm looking for a woman to do instead of me doing me.


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    lol, thanks Eric


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    Eric is looking for some girl like this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBpeK9yaONQ

    Boy, have things changed. That was considered a cute song back in it's day. Try to play that today!
    Awarded Best Clear Com Chatter, 2001, PBS Television


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    Senior Member Batutta's Avatar
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    The internet and social media is largely responsible for this shift. The real innovation of social media and internet marketing is that advertisers could finally target individuals. Before, you would put an ad on TV, or the paper, or on radio or billboard and sort of hose down the population with your messaging with the hopes it would hit the demographics you wanted. Because everyone saw the same message this resulted in more of a monoculture which is a more favourable environment for consensus. On the internet, you know exactly what an individual likes and can advertise directly to that person. This is more economical and efficient. The side effect is that people become insulated in these little bubbles where they only receive messages the algorithm believes they would like and conforms to their worldview. Now we have a population where everyone's needs, desires and opinions are catered to on demand like lazy Roman Caesars and people are less tolerant, and less able to comprehend things outside of their information bubble.
    "Money doesn't make films...You just do it and take the initiative." - Werner Herzog


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    In a world that's becoming more complicated, selfish, and demanding from the pressures of society, "you do you" is the result.

    Immediate access to abundant information has produced more overall evaluation of everything.

    I think many are done listening - [they can learn on Google and YouTube if they were interested in your (a) POV] - and would rather selectively hear and discuss depending on their ulterior motives.


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    Senior Member paulears's Avatar
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    Please forgive me, but I have read this topic, and as an old timer thought I might add something - but I have absolutely no idea what it's about "You do You" what is that? I've never ever heard the phrase in my life? Is this some American thing that doesn't cross the Atlantic?

    I must be stupid but I also read the responses and I don't understand these either? What am I missing?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Batutta View Post
    The internet and social media is largely responsible for this shift... people become insulated in these little bubbles where they only receive messages the algorithm believes they would like and conforms to their worldview. Now we have a population where everyone's needs, desires and opinions are catered to on demand like lazy Roman Caesars and people are less tolerant
    Quote Originally Posted by NorBro View Post
    I think many are done listening - [they can learn on Google and YouTube if they were interested in your (a) POV] - and would rather selectively hear and discuss depending on their ulterior motives.
    Really interesting points. Internet/Social media hasn't just changed our relationship to knowledge or conversation, it's changed how we fundamentally approach relationship to other human beings. In some ways, other people become information/perspective/opinion sources that we selectively subscribe/unsubscribe to, either in whole (cancel culture), or in part (agree to disagree - you do you - said not after a discussion, but prior to one).

    Such a key part of relationship and community is knowing a person's thoughts/mind, but when we block that out it can leave relationship stuck in a state of surface level engagement. We can end up treating people as sources of entertainment and escapism to grab a beer with, kick back and share an activity with, etc. - but nothing more. When that becomes the only or primary dynamic, it weakens relationship as the relationship is in some ways treated as a service.

    Seems to be a part of a positive feedback loop... conversation is avoided, relationships become weaker and more frail (and thus more prone to break under any duress or disagreement)... giving people all the more reason to avoid engaging with someone on a deeper level... making the relationships increasingly shallow... and so on it goes. So when a sharp disagreement inevitably comes, people have no relationship to stand on as a foundation to work something out, and people end up more divided.


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    Quote Originally Posted by paulears View Post
    Please forgive me, but I have read this topic, and as an old timer thought I might add something - but I have absolutely no idea what it's about "You do You" what is that? I've never ever heard the phrase in my life? Is this some American thing that doesn't cross the Atlantic?

    I must be stupid but I also read the responses and I don't understand these either? What am I missing?
    Ahh I am jealous of your life in the UK! The ideology will probably cross the pond, I haven't really noticed it until the last couple years but it's sort of an Anthem at least in Portland, OR. My somewhat cheeky/facetious urban dictionary definition:

    //

    "You do you" - a phrase that started in a friendly and innocuous way, aka "whatever floats your boat." You might say "You do you" to your friend who puts ketchup on a $70 steak, i.e. "Dude, we're at the best steakhouse in the city and you're ordering your steak well done and dipping it in Heinz?? Not what I'd do, but hey, you do you".

    Slowly morphed to an encompass a larger idea of tolerance and no judgement, which may pertain to any lifestyle choice but increasingly more so to any behavior at all, i.e. "You deliver shoddy work consistently late and kinda sorta rip people off in doing so, never brush your teeth, and yell at baristas over the most frivolous errors? Cool man, I mean, you do you right? Who I am to judge" (There's probably some good and bad to this general notion).

    Now currently and seemingly rapidly developing into a more modern American sensibility of a post-truth culture, i.e. "Who is to say what is really right, everything is just your subjective opinion. For some, Qanon is their thing and they're entitled to that; for others, anti-vax is your jam; for some violence is the answer and for others it's all about peaceful methods. Who is anyone to say what's right for anyone else, or what's right at all?"

    //

    It seems (at least to my eye) that's it been a slow shift in the way communication in our country works. It's the move from "we disagree, so we should talk about X in a good faith, and in a charitable way, because we share the same goal of a good peaceful life where we all get along" and transformed to more of a mantra of "You do you" as more than just the ideal, but the mandate. Where for a person to even think another could be wrong is a deep violation of subjective truth, an act of judgement, and essentially communicates that someone thinks they smarter or more logical than the other. It's the move from the original idea of "everyone is entitled to their opinion", wherein the meaning meant "each person is entitled to hold a position in which they can defend, even if contentious" - which was paired with the understanding that a person has a responsibility to abandon an indefensible viewpoints if reason, data, or otherwise eventually makes a position unsustainable... to the new idea of "everyone is entitled to think anything they want, without challenge, and regardless of merit."

    Essentially it's the bed fellow to subjective truth becoming absolute, over the classical ideas of objective truth being distinct from subjective perspectives.

    EDIT: ^^ And to Norbro's point, he made the point that this shift may be in part due to people increasingly outsourcing conversation with other humans to digital mediums, wherein they subscribe/unsubscribe at will to channels/viewpoints that tell them what they already want to hear.
    Last edited by filmguy123; 01-19-2021 at 03:44 PM.


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    I'm in the U.S., old, and never heard of it. It's a big heaping pile of hot horse manure. What nonsense.
    Awarded Best Clear Com Chatter, 2001, PBS Television


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