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    #21
    Senior Member paulears's Avatar
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    I thought I'd got it, then the conversation made me think I haven't.

    I think this is something we'll not really understand here - so I daren't ever use it, because I'd get it wrong. Have fun.


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    #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by paulears View Post
    I thought I'd got it, then the conversation made me think I haven't.

    I think this is something we'll not really understand here - so I daren't ever use it, because I'd get it wrong. Have fun.
    I feel the same way. I think it's a bit paradoxical which is why it makes all of our heads spin. More like Yin/Yang iconography where each bleeds into the other, and there is a bit of the other in each "side".

    I'm interested in this because I've been reflecting on the power of story to the cut through the noise. I think the world just needs more love and there's a lot of arguments and relationships being torn apart the makes me sad; and yet, the brand of love that is being pitched in "you do you" seems more like self love the more I watch it play out with people pragmatically. I'm wondering how to use filmmaking and story to speak through the noise of complicated head spinning philosophy to the simplest things.

    How to bring people together in true unity that wrestles with things, and not surface level unity that avoids things.


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    #23
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    I saw this a few days ago on Facebook:

    disagree.jpg

    I actually have a lot of strong opinions on a lot of different things. I even go along with Paul Graham that taste is objective. But I also think that changing anyone's mind is a long-term process that only happens through gentleness, if ever. In fact, usually for me it simply never happens that I change anyone's mind. I was more crusading, say, 20 years ago, but nowadays 98% of my opinions I just decide to let it go --- even super-important opinions about life, the universe, and everything

    I would never use the phrase, "You do you," but I might say, "For now let's just say we disagree." Or don't forget the power of silence. Have you ever posted something, and it gets no response, and you automatically take that as scorn? So, I am less and less like this guy:

    duty_calls.jpg
    Last edited by combatentropy; 01-20-2021 at 03:03 PM.


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    #24
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    When I was growing up, my father's temper could literally shake the house. In high school (and some college) I loved to debate even if it got a little heated. Never ran from an argument or felt bad for longer than a few minutes if someone went off on me. This is my way of saying that rigorous - even heated - discussion is a good thing in my experience and I do not understand why so much of our higher education wants all thew students to run and hide if disagreements occur. If someone tells me I'm stupid, it does not change my sense of self, so I cannot understand how so many get so easily offended.

    So many really great comments and observations here give me some sense that real discussions can take place, but the "you do you, I'll do me" idea seems to have led to the idea that nothing can be questioned or challenged. The end of free-thinking and free speech will be dark times indeed. Seems much of the "You do you" concept is one-sided as well. Deep down and unspoken there is a strong sense that the other person should change to meet your own expectations. (not that this has not always been true to some extent). The internet seems to magnify/amplify this way more than any one-on-one discussion or a group partaking in discussion in person might experience (or maybe a physical fight might break out, LOL).

    Filmguy - your last post is really thought-provoking. Great topic if a bit hard to grapple with.

    B


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    #25
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    Thanks say_doyster, and I agree with you. I am concerned at a culture level of where the inevitable trajectory heads. There's been a shift in education away from teaching people how to think, towards telling people what to think.

    Combatentropy - that is just some general sage wisdom and words to live by. I feel centered just reading it, because it reflects a mature peace. I've heard it said that as we grow older, we realize the world needs our peace more than our anger. That everything is a shade of gray. You don't see a lot of angry zen masters.

    And yet what scares me is the slow drift away from objectivism has meant that this wisdom is beginning to fade. I think today I see more people read that wonderful quote as: “An environment where people disagree is not a safe place to grow – it’s an environment focused on control.” - a subtle and almost imperceptible shift with dramatically different connotations.


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    #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bassman2003 View Post
    "....I just keep on trying to learn, grow, act with integrity and treat people with kindness, empathy and respect. The way others' behave is beyond my control and I might avoid. That might be my version of me doing me! In the end, that is all we can do anyway.
    Bless you. There are a lot of cultural and religious traditions millions of us were raised in that are rooted in this basic approach. Those counterforces endure despite the you do you culture in america. I try to hold onto that reality as I struggle for mental peace in a very atomized, volatile, self-absorbed, unsustainably greedy culture


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    #27
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    I think the current rise in "you do you" originates from humanity's increased interaction with the internet. We can now see so far beyond our own communities, culture, upbringing, etc. And, it's not just in the geographical breadth, but in the vast depth of information, so that we are seeing more than any other generation into the profound expanse of human diversity.

    This broadening of our understanding of humanity redefines not just social mores, but also deeply held beliefs about how to effectively love one another, with redefinitions of what justice, mercy, and kindness actually is. I think the shift is happening so fast that we can be put in situations where we don't always know the most loving way to treat or respond to people in certain situations, so "you do you" is a quick and effective substitute. We might not know the most ethical answer to a complex issue that was not part of our social landscape just a few years ago. Or, we simply see the full diversity of humanity for ourselves, leading to some of our own ethics and predispositions melting away into an understanding that there is a broader palate of tastes and preferences and culture than we were aware of, and those preferences are uniquely part of another person's identity and humanity and don't often need to be challenged or changed.

    The toxic aspects of "you do you" is when it strays from being used as a way to understand others and instead just papers over bad behavior. It then just becomes an excuse that is inherent and unchangeable and it's just another way to duck responsibility for one's actions.


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    #28
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    Another way to understand "you do you" would be to look at the opposite end of the spectrum. Allow me to introduce Collective Narcissism: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collective_narcissism .


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    #29
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    It's Image vs Substance, and today you can make a very good living as a social media star ( the top earners are bringing in 6 to 7 figures per month ) that's entirely based upon the image you manifest on the web.


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