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    Regenisis- dj200423
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    So I'm curious what you guys thought. My critiques so far have been very limited and I'd love to hear what you liked, what you hated and any other tips you have for me.

    Be ruthless with this. I want you to tell me it was the s*%ttiest piece of s*%t you've ever seen. But then tell me why. Don't be worried about hurting my feelings.
    The DVXuser formerly known as dj200423.





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    Senior Member Tim Miller's Avatar
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    Okay, since you almost started begging.

    Nice work! I enjoyed it. I think you definately captured the essance of a trailer of a zombie flick...so I am guessing you have a long film in store? Would be intersting to see the rest of the film. Here are my "ideas" about your film:

    Being a trailer for a film, typically music runs under the entire thing (or most), I felt that after the first time we hear the music it should run consistently. I think you have a good buildup at the beginning, when the zombie first comes to life and chases after the guy but then you calm it back down when you cut to the radio announcer...KEEP THAT ACTION COMING!

    I see you were working with a young cast, I have done the same, it makes it hard (espeically when you have many characters) to not make it look like some sort of college film (no offense, I remember shooting stuff in college and using only young actors and thinking it needed something else).

    Since your film (from what I got from the trailer) is about those 4 people fighting to live together you might want to show them more at the beginning, I know you show the one of the doctors at the beginning and when you mentioned the 4 people being togther, but doesn't he get eaten? And then the four friends must escape...in a plane for two people, I thought that was funny. Knowing that 2 die at some point.

    Like I said, good stuff, I did enjoy it, it has a heck of a lot more action then mine! Keep up the good work.


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    Senior Member Curugon's Avatar
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    Give us time, man! We got a lotta films to watch and critique.

    OK here are my initial thoughts. I liked that you chose to make a hybrid story/trailer, but would have definitely preferred to see a plain jane narrative. You clearly got skills as a filmmaker, which makes me want to see you knock us dead with a killer yarn.

    Love the outdoor field shots and your use of gradients. The radio station was a cool location and added to the production value. Seeing the airplane just made me wish you tossed a zombie in the propellor!! C'mon, that would have been sweet.

    Running through the fog was nice, but again, I wanted to see it in a story context and not just "cool snippets". Also I sometimes couldn't tell who were zombies and who were kids running like crazy.

    I'll try to write more later, but those are my feelings. I really loved the imagery, the tension, the music. It all added up to a neat trailer, but I would rather have watched the film!



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    #4
    Two-Hip Shakur Beat Takeshi's Avatar
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    I havent watched it yet but Im trying to get there!!!
    UrbanMouse.com

    2013 Narrative Reel




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    #5
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    hey!

    So you did a movie trailer! Looks like u went all out, even got a plane in it. Except that I wouldn't be helping those kids take off in the plane, I'd be trying to get in with them! Its just one of those things, in a real situation like that I don't want to left behind. It just doesn't feel real or convincing. But its a movie trailer, there could be piece of story missing. I think he was limping at the end, theres always that last shot that sells the movie. It would have been nice to see the limping guys get eaten by a hoarde of zombies!

    There are some good shots in the movie, my favorite part being where the kid in the basement and we see the zombie come out of the dark and bam.

    You had some good ideas, and alot of zombies. I think it being a movie trailer will hurt it because most of the people will want to see a story. I rated it pretty good because I made a trailer a while back and you did a way better job than me.


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    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    Acting/sound was fair, but could use a lot of improvement. Opening actor wasn't convincing at all to me. Narrative ("teaser/trailer") voice didn't work for me.

    The radio personality's voice made a nice SFX transition from the station to the radio (transistor sound).

    Why's the kid throwing his life away & not getting on the plane himself? What's so special about the people that are on the plane for him to do that?

    As this just became a trailer for something bigger, I didn't connect with or care about anyone in it.
    Norm Sanders
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    Thank you so much for the crits, guys!

    I actually have no intention of making an expanded story. We wanted to tell an entire story in less than 5 minutes, and this was the most... "complete" way to do it, or so I thought at the time.

    Every sequence that was in the trailer, was actually an entire scene that we shot. I edited all of the scenes independently, and then reimported them into one project and edited them into a trailer. So I suppose we could expand it, since we've got the full scenes shot... I just want to wash my hands clean of this project.

    Yeah, our entire crew was between 16 and 22 years of age... hard to manage at times, but we had fun.

    Zack: I agree about the music, I actually tried getting it scored all the way through, but it just didn't flow right.

    The ending was expanded quite a lot. You guys are wondering why the third guy sacrifices himself. In the full scene, he's just been bitten and realizes there's only room for two in that plane... and zombies come around the corner of the hanger and he fights them off. (we did arial shots from the plane of him fighting off the zombies), but once again, because of flow, I couldn't just throw that shot in there.

    Once again, much appreciated! Keep em comin'!
    The DVXuser formerly known as dj200423.





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    My crew was about that age, i was the oldest, in my movie we had a real party, boy were they were VERY hard to manage... I need to work on my pimp slap to get them in line.. lol. U did a ariel shot? kick ass.


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    Senior Member Hectorxd's Avatar
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    Hey
    Yeah I was dissapointed that this was a trailer and not a movie. Im sorry that you thought 5 minutes wasnt long enough to tell a story as there are tons of short films out their that do that. I remember being impressed with overall feel and production of it but was less than impressed that it wasnt a movie.
    Brian


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    #10
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    Thoughts:
    I thought the best part was the scene in the dark with just the one light swinging around.

    If I had a plane and 15 seconds of film I would have shown them taking off instead of the guy pulling it around.

    The young cast wasn't that big of a deal, but you might have wanted to work with your limitations and make it on a college campus or something.

    Okay. I'm done nitpicking. Good job.


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