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    Shot in the Dark - Disjecta
    #1
    Lucky Duck disjecta's Avatar
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    Looking forward to your comments...


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    #2
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    You are a real storyteller! I had to download your film 11th times to be able to watch it but it was worth it.

    At the beginning, until your logo, you didn't use any picture, it was only black. It would be much better if we could see her during she talks "... I'm married with a filmmaker..." and when she goes to the door the next clip is an outside shoot showing the door opening and the screen turns to black when she screams.

    The car driving from the right to the left indicates you are comming home! But it wasn't any problem if the next shoot inside the car didn't show the opposite direction. It was confusing a little bit. I guess such things are confusing only those who are familiar with those rules.

    It was all the negatives!

    Using the light was very good. Framing as well even I would use a little correction the some shoots. I had the feeling I'm watching a kind of Spielberg film. It was very good. The sound and the score was in perfect harmony. Even it was a "mild horror" movie you were keeping the excitement on the top level. And the very last , the finishing part is just perfect.


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    #3
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    Hey, no Zombie duckling anymore? Guess that was him escaping at the end of your movie ;-)
    As I was expecting a beautifully crafted bit of story telling that speaks of someone knowing their craft/medium well. Really polished, totally engrossing - hard to believe it was five minutes, but you used every scene, edit and piece of dialogue to great effect. Your family make for great actors too.
    Top of my list so far!
    Insert your signature here >.... if you like ;-)


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    #4
    Lucky Duck disjecta's Avatar
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    Thank you, Duff, I appreciate your comments.

    Sergej, Your point about the car direction from right to left is well taken. I wasn't actually aware of that rule but I was aware that the cut went in a different direction. I shot this scene a bunch of times in different locations and by the time I got it right, I had forgotten about the direction. I think a simple flip will fix the main problem here.

    The voice over the black at the beginning is a direct parody of the opening of my other film Being Disjecta so it was intentionally without picture.

    Not sure what you meant by "Framing as well even I would use a little correction the some shoots."

    Anyway, thanks again.


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    Senior Member jdsmith19's Avatar
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    Great job, disjecta. I think my wife watched it three times and made me freeze frame on the shot of the Zombie's face in the camera screen. It scared her, good job!

    You definitely know your audience (DVX and miniDV tape jokes!) Keep up the good work. I just got finished reading your uprez post, and I'm trying it out with my zombie short to see what differences it makes. Your footage is stunning. Oh, and about the black screen, I thought it was brilliant (even though I did think my media player was acting up). But then when I looked at the title of your short, I couldn't stop laughing!

    Good work.

    J.D.


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    Senior Member taubkin's Avatar
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    What I really liked about disjecta's film is that he does have a talent in making everything look good, really lighting, framing, was all perfect!

    The other thing is how he does his family movie thing so well, he can make a good zombie short (in fact on with the best of the scares) without resorting to anything explicit, and keeping it PG. I loved the ending also, very well constructed punch line.

    It's weird that someone could learn so much about storytelling by shooting ducks! - Just kidding, hehehe, his nickname is from a Samuel Beckett story, so there it is...

    Someone mentioned Spielberg, I agree. Fun for the whole family, perfectly crafted. I also have to admit how he used all the elements he had on his favour, the character of himself, his loyal family, etc...

    Very good work, really stands out!


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    #7
    Rowe Cine LLC
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    k, ill just say that i agree 100% with taubkin here.. it had the best scare.. made me jump. and was still clean and good fun.. a master of that type of film would be good ol M Night.. likely my favorite witer/director..

    the film was complete.. had a beginning and and end.. it wasnt just a part of someting larger. which is good. storytellers shold know how to tell a story whether long or short.. not just cram long stories into short timelines. or stretch a short on out to a long timeline.
    it was a bit bright for me to be convinced it was actually night in the woods... but for the family feel of it its was spot on. the humor in it made me laugh.. in fact not only was it the only film that made me jump.. it was the only one that made me laugh out loud.. my wife watched it.. only one she would.. and she laughed too..

    " if you touch dad's DVX.. you'll be a zombie" hilarious.. i think we can all relate to that one. i cant stand middle school potty humor that most filmmakers throw in there film to try and get a luagh by using the lowest level dirt they can sling at the screen .. so the natural , and real life humor was not only funny, but appreciated.

    im not really sure what i think about the cinematography in it.. in fact.. i didnt think about it at ll.. which is good for this type of film.. it shouldnt be calling attention to itself .. t just lended itself naturally to the story. overall it worked well for the story and design of the film.. very disney filmesque. it didnt feel like the serious dramatic films that im used to.. but it wasnt supposed to. and it worked beautifully with the storyline.

    music was as always. very good.

    i wouldve liked to see the film rely a little less on the narration to convey what was happening, but i cant say it was overdone.. all in all it was a well put together peice that i really enjoyed.. i only saved 4 films on my machine out of all of the ones in the fest.. and this was one of the four. great job Dempsey family



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    #8
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    Nicely done.

    You had great cinematography, and nice transitions. Storywise, if you were going for a family-type mild scare, I think you accomplished that very ably.

    What detracted from the flick ,for me, was the narration. There was a tendency to narrate what was already shown visually, so it felt like you were spoon feeding your audience. I feel you should trust in your storytelling ability, or rewrite the story to explain what you intend to visually. IMO, narration should either act as a juxtaposition to the visuals or add needed subtext (that otherwise cannot be shown visually). It shouldn't be telling the text of the script, IMO.

    It was nice to see a change up in the line-up, and I commend you for your obvious
    ability to get the best out of the DVX. Look forward to seeing more.

    Cheers.


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    #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by disjecta
    Not sure what you meant by "Framing as well even I would use a little correction the some shoots."

    .
    Nothing special. Don't even think about it. The little correction is : I would move your oldest daughter to the left a little bit when she is talking to the other kids and just to put the camera a few inches higher when she is running back to pick up the Canon. Nothing serious.


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    #10
    Retired Moderator J.R. Hudson's Avatar
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    This was easily one of my favorites of the bunch. This is indeed wonderfully PG rated family fare; and totally engrossing. I was hooked from the First to the last frame. I can only second what has already been stated; very spielbergean and a touch of early Peter Jackson IMO (See Frighteners or Dead Alive (Braindead). Alsmot a complete Harry Potterish feel to me. Dman does not resort to cheap tricks on this but takes a simple 'campfire ghoststory' and makes it work.

    Not all of the comps and framing are ideal; I feel somewhat spoiled with Dmans best comps and framing and then somewhat cheated when I see quick and dirty shots; something tells me he's 'going as fast as he can' which I can relate to with the family in the shot.

    The editing is super tight, the score is wonderfully magical and spooky and that last dolly push had me doing the endzone dance for him. I love that shot and this is what I mean by being cheated the rest of the way in comps and frames; that shot is insanely perfect and if only each and every shot had this level of commitment. Maybe I'm just mad at myself for soing the same thing?

    Dmans attention to detail wit hthe children looking at each other had me rolling. Thats a directors touch there. This film tells a complete story, its touching, spooky, and somethign we can all relate to and when it comes time to be scared; we are.

    Great work and finally; DMAN is doing narrative work for us. Bravo! I rated this extremly high on my chart.


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