Thread: Love

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    Love
    #1
    Wish I were banned. Drew Ott's Avatar
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    I don't trust anyone else on the web the way I trust you guys.

    Do you guys believe love exists?

    Is it possible that sometimes real life is like a Nora Ephron movie?

    Your thoughts are important to me right now.
    "You'd better cure all those personal problems that might be holding back something you want to say." -John Cassavetes


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    #2
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    Ok I'll bite. No sarcasm intended at all.

    Backstory - a)I lost love in a really ugly way recently b)I trust no one as a result.

    That said, I kinda need love to exist. I don't ever want to come off as a 'universy platitudey guy' but I have a hard time saying this objectively.

    On one end, if love did exist, things would have to be at least a little different on my end. On the other end, I can sometimes clearly see why love should exist cause I can relate to having felt it before, and kind of know how to translate it to its effects.

    This is not 'I believe in love so therefore it exists'

    This is more, 'I've felt its effects, on me and on other people, I can identify it when I feel it pretty specifically, so something has to be there'.

    I do admit to really wanting it to exist, and conquer all, and everything they taught us as kindergarteners.

    For the record, i'm a complete atheist, and don't go for any new age links between science and feeling great/getting the car you want/picturing stuff to make it happen.

    Also, I'm very, very sad, it's an underlying thing I'm working very gradually to chip away. Life has been getting better, but a long way to go.

    Elaborate on why you ask? I could totally do this.


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    #3
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    Also dunno who Nora Ephron is


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    Senior Member DPStewart's Avatar
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    Oh love exists alright.
    It's all over the place.
    It can and will rise up within you in different ways and at different times.

    Love is a verb. You're supposed to do it. Show it. Feel it. Not just sit around thinking about it.

    No two people will love each other in exactly the same way. There are as many different variations on the expression of love as there are people loving.

    But people are a difficult species... trust is a bitch.
    By its very definition, the deeper you love the more you expose yourself to potentially crushing pain. But the only way to avoid the pain is not to love - and that is no solution at all.
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    Looking for a woman ugafan's Avatar
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    #6
    Totally Usable Mod Stephen Mick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ugafan View Post

    My hatred for you knows no bounds right now, uga. I think I'd rather be Rick-Roll'd than to watch that Foreigner video.
    Stephen Mick
    Owner/Creative Director
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    weareskylark.com


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    This is all hilarious but something tells me Drew needs us to answer this seriously... Drew you ok man?


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    #8
    Rockin the Boat
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    Well of course it exists. Nora Ephron - hard to tell, it's just a movie world, I kinda doubt it, but who knows. But real love exists, that's totally obvious - as obvious as the fact that you are alive and that the world exists. May as well ask: does the sun exist? Yes, yes it does.


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    Senior Member hscully's Avatar
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    If you mean love of a mate, and not agape then, yes it exists, but it is a projection. It does not exist independent of your need for it. It is not intrinsic in the other. See Jung's Anima (Animus) Projection for more details.

    Loves me some Nora Ephron, notwithstanding!


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    #10
    Senior Member nyvz's Avatar
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    Love is a big concept that means very different things to different people and describes many different kinds of feelings and relationships. And whether something exists or not is a tough enough question in itself, since the concept of existence is another vast oversimplification of many different ideas. Does existence require evidence in physical matter? Or just human belief? Is love a chemical reaction or an evolving social construct or both?

    I would venture to say that with something like love, it cannot exist if you do not believe in it and even commit to it, but it's important to recognize the limitations of the word and the concept as you see it. I think the interesting thing about love is that often a definition of it is built between two people and one person can define it in many different ways through different relationships.

    Which love is it you are asking about? For me sustainable love is a lot about shared commitment and openness of communication which is built from shared experience. Many people confuse or conflate love into many different feelings or believe it is magic or something that can happen to a passive individual, but I don't find that to be the case in my limited experience. Then again if you define love in a different way then perhaps that love does exist for you but it may be entirely different from my understanding. For example love at first sight to me seems like a conflation of lust into love.

    It's possible real life could be like a Nora Ephron movie but it's highly unlikely depending quite what you mean by that. Those characters like most movie characters usually exist in a world where there is only one worldview, that of the writer/director, and these days it is rare that even two people share the same worldview unless you both have lived in a very small town your whole life with little outside influence.
    Noah Yuan-Vogel
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