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    So God Made a Crew
    #1
    Artful Dodger Sad Max's Avatar
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    And on the 8th day, God looked down on his planned Hollywood paradise and said, "I need people who get the work done." So God made a crew.

    God said, "I need somebody willing to get up before dawn, open set, work all day under the lights, change magazines, draw plans, sew costumes and then stay past midnight checking time cards and copying call sheets and logging shots." So God made a crew.

    "I need somebody with arms strong enough to lift a 12K and yet gentle enough to thread a Panaflex. Somebody to call extras, tame cantankerous starlets, work through forced calls hungry, have to wait for lunch until the shot's in the can and tell the director they're happy to do that -- and mean it." So God made a crew.

    God said, "I need somebody willing to sit up all night waiting for dailies. And when they don't arrive, laugh it off and say, 'Maybe tomorrow.' I need somebody who can make a fog machine from coffee cans, fix a camera with a strip of gaffers' tape, who can make dollies out of shopping carts, angle iron and baling wire. And who, in pilot season, will finish his sixty-hour week by Tuesday noon, then, pain'n from 'gaffer back,' put in another seventy-two hours." So God made a crew.

    God had to have somebody willing to haul tarps at double speed to get the set covered ahead of the rain clouds and yet stop in mid-work and race to help when he sees the camera team protecting their gear. So God made a crew.

    God said, "I need somebody strong enough to raise walls and heave sandbags, yet gentle enough to calm directors and stroke producers and tend the background players, who will stop his lunch break to put just the right finish on a set. It had to be somebody who'd build straight and true and not cut corners. Somebody to draw, draft, saw, grind and sand and stitch and load and light and gaff the cables and boom the mic and stock the crafty table and finish a hard week's work with a twenty-mile drive home.

    "Somebody who'd bale a team together with the soft strong bonds of sharing, who would laugh and then sigh, and then reply, with smiling eyes, when his son says he wants to spend his life 'doing what dad does.'" So God made a crew.

    - with thanks to Paul Harvey, "So God Made a Farmer"
    .
    The key to success is being too dumb to know when to quit.


    Motion Picture & Television Art Directors' Guild :: IATSE Local 800 :: Academy of Television Arts & Sciences

    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Star Trek: Into Darkness (nominated, 2013)
    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Mockingbird Lane (nominated, 2012)
    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Avatar (2010)



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    Senior Member Jimmy Pierce's Avatar
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    In the meantime, on the 8th day, Lucifer observed God's creation and plotted with his mischievous smile, a way to disrupt this creation.

    And Lucifer said, "I will create a table with candy, pastries, bags of nacho chips, and high calorie beverages, and God's creation shall stop their work and flock to the table. Nothing is more powerful then the art of temptation."

    And so as the crew worked hard and long each day, they became tired and frustrated, and so noticed the table of goodies nearby and walked over to have a quick snack. And so Lucifer made craft service.

    Lucifer said, "They will begin to delay their tasks, working short periods of time, taking breaks to make a trip to my table of goodies, and they will gain weight, get sugar highs, and resent their work if this table is non existent. And so Lucifer made craft service.

    And the crew awoke before dawn, opened set, worked all day under the lights, changed magazines, drew plans, sewed costumes and then stayed past midnight checking time cards and copying call sheets and logging shots. They lifted 12Ks and heaved sandbags, sat waiting for dailies, hauled tarps at double speed to get the set covered ahead of the rain clouds and yet stopped in mid-work and raced to protect the gear.

    But the damage had been done and Lucifer's creation spread far and wide, and the art of temptation lived on. And as God looked upon Lucifer's creation, God said, "I need somebody to balance the crew's hunger, something for them to look forward to and create nourishment that will last the entire day, yet be good for their health." And so God made pizza delivery.
    Last edited by Jimmy Pierce; 03-01-2014 at 12:00 PM.


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    Artful Dodger Sad Max's Avatar
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    ^ awesome
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    The key to success is being too dumb to know when to quit.


    Motion Picture & Television Art Directors' Guild :: IATSE Local 800 :: Academy of Television Arts & Sciences

    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Star Trek: Into Darkness (nominated, 2013)
    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Mockingbird Lane (nominated, 2012)
    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Avatar (2010)



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    Senior Member Batutta's Avatar
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    And then God created Robert Rodriguez, who said f*ck all that.
    "Money doesn't make films...You just do it and take the initiative." - Werner Herzog


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    Nope. Crew evolved. Except for the teamsters.

    :-)
    New Website: www.liamhall.net
    TWITTER: @FilmLiam
    INSTAGRAM: @picsbyliam


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    #6
    Artful Dodger Sad Max's Avatar
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    "And then God created Robert Rodriguez, who said f*ck all that."

    And then God created Robert Rodriguez, who said f*ck all that, I'll just do it -myself-.
    .
    The key to success is being too dumb to know when to quit.


    Motion Picture & Television Art Directors' Guild :: IATSE Local 800 :: Academy of Television Arts & Sciences

    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Star Trek: Into Darkness (nominated, 2013)
    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Mockingbird Lane (nominated, 2012)
    ADG Award for Excellence in Production Design, Avatar (2010)



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    Senior Member Jimmy Pierce's Avatar
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    On a more serious note, the first post was very inspiring. So much that the NFL needs to remake the commercial to honor the crew that broadcasts the Superbowl.



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