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    Producer Mod Brandon Rice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marlon Ladd View Post
    Yep, I agree with MAH. I think it can stand on it's own.
    That is REALLY good to hear, as that was the goal. It wouldn't be smart to make a short film, that without the context of another short film, didn't make any sense. Obviously with the first one, more of the story-line is filled in, specifically regarding who the dead girl is... but it's not something so important that the short doesn't work without it.
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    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Imagine if you died on plane. Stuck with all those annoying passengers. Ugh.
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    Producer Mod Brandon Rice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_Keaton View Post
    Imagine if you died on plane. Stuck with all those annoying passengers. Ugh.
    I think we just found our next film to make it a trilogy! HA HA
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    Pug Life Scott F's Avatar
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    I enjoyed this! It had a solid look, like a high budget "teen party" type film, and take that in the spirit in which it's intended. : )

    As mentioned, the main character's reaction to the friend's death is a little underwhelming, but I see your explanation. The "look" of the party is nice, although there could have been a few more extras & foley to really sell it. Example, that foyer/entry shot is so sparse.

    I think the best part was the two veteran actors. Top-notch acting. Their dialogue & body language really carried the illusion that they were back from the dead. Very nice makeup as well. Lots of unanswered questiones, but maybe that's a good thing..ie the next film.

    Nice lighting, cinematography, editing, scoring. Kudos to all involved.....

    thanks for sharing!
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    Producer Mod Brandon Rice's Avatar
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    Thanks for watching our short Scott, and for the comments!
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    Still Alive Mod Jack Daniel Stanley's Avatar
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    Weclome Back to the Party.

    First. I’m a little offended that you didn’t ask me back to do a VO cameo for the sequel

    Kidding of course. You couldn't afford me. Zing. Kidding again.

    Nice opening. Feels Tales From The Crypt-y. Art direction and music and camera all working together to create a kind of 90’s retro vibe in the opening. Good job Geoff, Larry and Justin. O.G. DVXfest in the house! Maybe a little vignette would pull it all together a little more even? Looks good though. Feels “of a piece” with all elements.

    Ding on the sound in the master – don’t you have better audio from the closeups? If not it’s not too bad. But if so – easy to bump up the quality here.

    Not sure I get the guy in lederhosen’s attitude. Even a sociopath would pretend to be a little down about someone dying at a party. Imagine we were having a party and a DVXuser died on the way. If it was a new guy know one knew – maybe not enough to cast a shadow over the whole night - but still people would adjust their attitudes a bit. If it was Kholi, or Geoff, or Zak or someone – then the party would change to a wake, people would be sitting talking quietly. Drinking for a different reason. When your main character walked in – the lederhosen guy would give him a knowing nod or something. He could still find out about the accident and the lederhosen guy could still assume he knew and find out different. It seems like the guy who died in the car wreck was a central figure in their social scene so seems like his death would cast a shadow over the evening.

    Also after the main character finds out his best friend died – he moves on really quickly and tries to get with the purple girl. There’s no residue whatsoever of what he’s dealing with. Don’t by that. He comes back to it – but he goes too far away from it for credibility. He’d have to be carrying the residue from the previous scene into this one. Exchange an absent pleasantry or two with the girl – really still trying to process his friend’s death but maybe wanting to talk to her for comfort or something – then get to “did you hear about Josh” a little quicker. IMHO obviously.

    I like your cast. Particularly the main character and the purple girl.
    I like the dilemma you set up for the main character.

    Your actor does a very nice job playing each moment, but the moments don’t seem psychologically connected. When he’s hitting on the girl that beat seems out of a happy movie where no one's died. Then he walks upstairs and he’s tragically upset again. Once he gets the news his friend is dead you have to really hold yourself accountable to that being a given circumstance that’s psychologically real and that informs everything. He can play against it - in other words he can try to have a good time maybe - but he can't totally beat it. It has to be an obstacle to having a good time that's pretty much winning. He’s very good. Very believable. Very clear. Just your collaboration with him doesn’t make sense to me in terms of his arc.



    SPOILERS


    I’m not sure why the main character killed himself. Was he being manipulated by Josh the way he will later manipulate the other guy to kill the purple girl?


    END SPOILERS



    No mediums of pale white men’s backs bending over please
    Are the walls in this bedroom brown or gray?

    When she wakes up – might be nice if she played a little more supernatural confusion – a little more like she’s uprooted – not sure what’s real – what to feel - that would maker her transition from getting shot to making out with this guy a little better. Like she’s not sure what’s real, what’s going on, but somehow this all makes sense to her.

    Brandon it’s engaging work and technically good.
    Acting is especially good.
    I think you just need to be very hard on yourself in the script stage about why people do things and how they would feel / behave “if” this were really happening.
    I still think its strong work.





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    Producer Mod Brandon Rice's Avatar
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    Thank you for checking it out, and for your detailed comments! I think some more back-story on our main character's life might have helped sell not only the suicide, but also many of his motivations. I think it may have been a matter of something we felt would be sold in sub-text through the dialog, and his performance that didn't register for you.

    The dead friend isn't really someone everyone knows, but the host (liederhosen guy) knows that this guy's only friend really is him (Josh). And he may not even have brought it up, thinking the protagonist already knows unless he had asked about it.

    The suicide and brokenness is motivated by the guy's defeat at every turn... his friend is dead... he loses the girl to a loser jock... etc.

    Sorry some of that didn't read for you... as I'd hoped it would. I do agree I have to work better on motivations and things. Sometimes I rationalize things because of different reasons, like in this case the genre...

    Thanks again for watching!
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    Still Alive Mod Jack Daniel Stanley's Avatar
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    Though take any criticism I have with a grain of salt. Probably motivated by my bitterness at not being included in the cast again.
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    Producer Mod Brandon Rice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Daniel Stanley View Post
    Though take any criticism I have with a grain of salt. Probably motivated by my bitterness at not being included in the cast again.
    HA HA! Well... only 2 of the 4 original cast made it back... So don't feel TOO badly... and you did make it into the teaser trailer
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    Still Alive Mod Jack Daniel Stanley's Avatar
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    I didn't see teaser trailer. Will look.
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