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    ScriptFest XIV: HolidayFest : Chris Keaton's SATURNALIA
    #1
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Saturnalia
    A struggling business man takes his wife to a unique party in the hopes of improving his returns.

    http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/attachment...8&d=1355609422
    Last edited by Chris_Keaton; 12-15-2012 at 08:25 PM.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
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    #2
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    I have no idea what your script will be but...I love the title. Very interesting.

    looking forward to this one.


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    #3
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    I've got the first page done. Making good time. I think it might be a porno, not sure yet. ;)
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
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    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
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    #4
    Senior Member Egg Born Son's Avatar
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    I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description 'hard-core pornography' and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it, and the motion picture involved in this case is not that.
    óJustice Potter Stewart

    Reverse logic dictates that if you're unsure then you don't know it; and if you don't know it, it ain't.

    On the other hand if you plan to write six pages but find it's all over in two, it might be...


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    #5
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    i vote porno. But can you include the line that, "Santa only comes once a year" and still be a proper porno? The great question of our age.


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    #6
    Member DarrenJSeeley's Avatar
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    I wonder if Chis will really go by the mantra of When In Rome. I can kind of imagine a Roman orgy...I was thinking about it too, but I drew blanks on what/how to write it so I brainstormed and started to write something else.


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    #7
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    Spoilers

    i looked up the title after this as I assumed it meant something. I suppose had I known it would have given a part if he story away which is always a risk. Don't recall much Christmas reference but maybe the party alone is adequate.

    story wise I could see your porno potential and I did wonder where it was going. At the end I wasn't sure whether it was a good twist, as i wasnt expecting it, or too much out of the blue. No foreshadowing. Indeed, there seemed to be little connection between signing up to a swingers party and turning around the fortunes of his business. However, these are not difficult to fix.

    suggestions?

    Foreshadow his interest In the occult/rituals/ superstition
    link her acceptance to making him feel better, rather than turn the business around
    Possibly he's given something in return afterwards - a reward, or just as he thinks his luck will change...
    ....they do him as well. The irony....but also the partner is then given something. Sold them out.

    Just thoughts


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    #8
    Senior Member Anthony Todaro's Avatar
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    You got my review. I'd will say, this was my kinda Holiday party.
    When's the next one? I have someone I like to invite....
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    #9
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    Hey Chris,

    That was an interesting story.
    He sacrifices his wife.
    I thought he didn't want to but he did. And the wife sounds too eager to participate in the fun - sounds like you want us to cheer when she dies. Or maybe that's why he wants her dead?
    I didn't understand that part - I want to know if he did it for business or if he wanted her dead. And if he wanted her dead I want to know why - you kind of gave a little glimpse so I'm thinking it must be the second.

    This Holiday fest is way to gory for me


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    #10
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    She was sacrificed to better his business, but the sacrifice had to be a willing participant.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
    ______________________________________________
    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
    Suspense ScriptFest: A Clockwork Darkened(2nd Place)
    Trapped ScriptFest: Trapped (3rd Place)


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