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    #31
    Member Zach Olson's Avatar
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    Nice work. I loved seeing a few comedies in a fest that would give to a serious note. The music was great and totally fit the mood of the film. The sink sound was too early both times and made me wonder what was up until it got to that cut of the video. Loved the fact that he is college age, up at the crack of noon, eating cereal, and still wearing his PJs. Totally felt like I knew this guy. Good camerawork/angles. Great draft form but the form on the clipboard... =) I was totally into the feel of the film until he goes to war. I was ok with the old film and the old dialog/voice over the top. What I didn't like was that it got really serious and broke the feel when the boy loses his fellow soldier. It may have played off better if more of the war was shown and it was goofier. When we return to the house and his friend has died my mind was off thinking about how terrible war can be and other serious movies where people die. This distracted me through to the end. Your film was 6:10. I think it could have been done in half the time. The second half showing him getting freaked out by the dead soldier went WAY too long. We got it the first time. Give your audience some credit, please! I did like how it mirrored his routine from the beginning and I loved how you tied the girl coming over and eating cereal with him in at the end. This totally fit. Nice work!


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    #32
    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    I think this is the only piece I havent commented on. Not sure how I missed it after I watched so, watched it again for this purpose.

    A genuinely funny piece. The evidence of that in the writing shone through in your leads performance.

    Not sure it was intentional, but whilst I liked the war montage - I saw moments of what I personally interpreted as drama which momentarily threw me as I was in a comedic spot. Was that intentional? Just a curious thought as if you look at it from another angle, if so, means that whilst you did a comedy you managed to humanise the small war component. Which in itself is of interest as to how the short is structured.

    The PTSD ghosts were alarming in a good way. I did get a little tired of that loud piano going BAM after the first few.

    Good job.
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    #33
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    Most people don't get certified mail often, so I didn't buy that too much. Loved the music throughout. LOVED the archives inter-cut, gave that part a whole new mood and I would have liked that to have lasted just a tad longer.

    Many soldiers suffer from PTSD so this was a really unusual and out of the box twist to it. I thought it was a "smart" film. LOVED the ending. Totally unexpected.

    I recommend that you tighten this a bit. Rework the battle/archives scenes a bit better, then toss it out to some film festivals. I think it has a shot in placing in the top of them. Smart story. Well told. I ENJOYED it. Made me laugh. I don't think a 2 minute film would do this justice. Tighten it and it should go far.

    Good job. Smart!!!!
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    #34
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    Thanks to all for the reviews -- tightening is a good way of putting what I think we're missing as well. Glad that those who liked the humor of it did so, and as to the intermixing of the drama with the comedy I'd call it intentional but probably in need of tweaking and rethinking in areas to smooth out the mood of the piece.


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    #35
    Senior Member lawriejaffa's Avatar
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    Right this is an interesting film - that has a promising concept that other filmmakers could learn from imo - especially those with artistic pretention.

    1) PTSD
    2) Original and Disturbing depiction of PTSD
    3) Wrapped in a comedy.

    Those ingredients could buy you an indie film playing at Telluride hehe.

    But its a difficult balancing act (and at the risk of offence, DVXFESTs are not often the best venue for these kinds of complex divisive ideas.)

    I think you get a lot right with this, but where it goes wrong (i think it does) critically. It is with the extent and manner of your comedy - these ideas work as a black comedy with a kind of circumstantial comedic aspect (as in how his tragic remember... tragic loss of his friend, affects his daily life.) I also like the irony of before and after (and in this context the music actually works but...)

    While you had it right with the ingredients - the direction seems to imo... lack a confidence in your own idea. The hamminess of the performances - the over the top aspects were not... required to make this funny or for it to work. It could have been closer to the bone, more black, and still be amusing and disquietly disturbing.

    By having this kind of Adam Sandler esque characterisation you are LOSING the power of your concept and giving it away to a kind of short term/insecure agitated gain - like the ott nervousness of your actor, it seems to be reflected too in aspects of the films edit and delivery.

    The VERY SAME script, and SAME CAST AND GEAR hehe, but with a different direction of your actors, (strip it back) and less obvious comedic ironic music - something more real, would have made this piece a strong contender, not just for its few (uneasy laughs) but for its tragic aspects.

    This is a much more ambitious war film than the token, that it fails to deliver (in comparison to the token) is something you can rectify by following your original convictions harder imo!

    (Yes im aware i make a terrible number of assumptions in this feedback, apolagies for that
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