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    #21
    Still "Senior Member" Gord.T's Avatar
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    Pretty funny. I laughed out loud too many times to count to be honest. Still chuckling thinking about it while I post. It's a keeper for me.


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    #22
    Senior Member AJ Brooks's Avatar
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    I think you could cut a pretty decent 2 min. version and still get just as many laughs and hit the same points. Worth it to try just as a creative exercise.


    AJ Brooks - Writer / Director


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    #24
    Senior Member Hawk Teflon's Avatar
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    As always, if you haven't seen this short yet, please stop reading this post as there are SPOILERS throughout.

    What I liked: I loved the beginning. We were thrown in without the character explaining it to someone on a phone or anything, and it was clear what was happening. Your actors did very well throughout, too. Your sound throughout sounded good to me as well. I really liked the "jump" audio used when the ghost (?) appeared, and the reveal at the end. No complaints on any of the main components from me (lighting / audio / acting / etc).

    What I didn't like as much: Suddenly we're thrown into war (1:45) and it didn't feel like the light comedy I was watching seconds ago. I understand the trauma of war, but it was a bit jarring, and going back to humor afterward was weird for me. I think it could have been shorter, too. I was starting to feel just a little long right before the trip to the door at the end.

    Question: Does DVX cereal make a "clunk" when you pour it?


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    #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by AJ Brooks View Post
    I think you could cut a pretty decent 2 min. version and still get just as many laughs and hit the same points. Worth it to try just as a creative exercise.
    AJ, I'll admit this sounds initially absurd to me -- but I have more than enough respect for you as a filmmaker to try it! Certainly gets me thinking. I never thought this film moved too slowly, or lingered on anything too long -- if anything, I was afraid that it went boom!boom!boom! a little too fast and people wouldn't be able to keep up with the narrative. Either way, really interesting feedback and very helpful moving forward. Thanks!


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    #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barry_Green View Post
    Nice surprise. Liked it a lot.
    Thanks Barry!! Very excited to hear positive feedback from you


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    #27
    Senior Member AJ Brooks's Avatar
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    Something I say sounds absurd? Never!

    Imposing an arbitrary limitation, such as saying you'll make a 2 min. version, is a fun creative endeavor. It will seem ridiculous at first because you'll still be holding on to the original story that you told in the full version. But that is the idea, that you are telling a new and different story, and often in creating the short version that is all "wrong" because you had to cut all those "essential" scenes, you'll see how little you actually need.

    I once had a 12 minute cut of a mockumentary (which was funny and worked great) and I had to cut it down to 3 minutes for the contest requirements. At first I felt like I was losing all my best scenes by doing this, but after I finished and compared the shorter to the longer version, it was night and day. The longer version wasn't even funny anymore compared to the 3 min.

    That film won the contest it was in, btw.


    AJ Brooks - Writer / Director


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    #28
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    Just found this picture. This is from our very, very first meeting regarding this fest: a bunch of very rough ideas (the one we eventually went with is barely even referenced on here) sketched out in some terribly messy handwriting on no less than the back of a paper place-mat from the restaurant we met at... looking back at this is totally wild, so I thought I'd share!!
    Attached Images Attached Images


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    #29
    Member EJBinSD's Avatar
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    I have to say that I think it takes a special film to capture elements of a serious issue surrounding war, humor, and a love story successfully...and this is one of the films.

    I was at first a little concerned at the direction it was going to take given the current political climate with the "over before you know it" line. Started to take me out of it but ultimately the composition of the rest of the film overpowered that initial concern.

    Considering I struggled with this aspect on the film I worked on I would love to know what you used in dialogue capture as I really enjoyed this aspect of the film.

    My only other comment is that I wish the credits would have lasted a little longer, but the 6 minute limit is the 6 minute limit.


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    #30
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    Thanks so much EJ, I'll leave that dialogue capture bit to zucked as he handled that portion of the film making. As to the rest...

    The "over before you know it" bit gave us some trouble as to how to properly go into the war flashes so I understand that comment, but I'm glad to hear that the film overcame that!! The credits were for sure a VERY last minute addition; we barely made even the adjusted submission deadline. Had we had more time I would've liked to have had the credits be a little longer as you said and on top of that I'd have swapped them with the cereal-eating bit that currently ends the film (making said bit a post-credit easter egg shenanigan rather than the ending scene). Alas, we can't always get what we want.

    Thanks all for the continued feedback!!


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