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    #71
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    Congrats! You were my top two! Great job!
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #72
    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Congrats Ryan. Nicely done!
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    e: noel@noelevans.tv
    p: +61 (0) 408 455 374


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    #73
    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Double points to Ryan. Learn more about his short at KesslerU.

    http://www.kessleru.com/2012/11/the-...ng-experience/
    w: Noel Evans TV

    e: noel@noelevans.tv
    p: +61 (0) 408 455 374


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    #74
    Senior Member Ryan P. Kelly's Avatar
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    Thanks Noel! You beat me to it


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    #75
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    I definitely think you have a ton of talent. I really liked it especially the line "Jesus, this is a freaking suicide." You have a tense scene but since I can't read anything else I don't what specifics to say. My only advice would be that if this is supposed to be a climax build it up more in the previous pages. Suspense isn't so much about the challenge or event but about the build up to it. For example two characters are sitting at a table a bombs under the table neither character knows the suspense comes from the bomb not going off but you always expecting it will. I hope that helped I'd love to read more.


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