A strange transmission from the Asteroid Belt may lead to mankind's first contact with an alien race.
Thread: Signal
Results 1 to 10 of 22
-
Signal
Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2003
- Location
- St.Louis area, USA
- Posts
- 499
06-08-2012 07:48 PM
"If they move, kill'em!"
-
ScriptFEST Mod
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Tucson, AZ
- Posts
- 1,842
-
Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2003
- Location
- St.Louis area, USA
- Posts
- 499
06-08-2012 10:06 PM
Thanks, Chris. Just got this one in - we did a 48 Hour Film Project last weekend and time was tight.
Last edited by taylormade; 06-09-2012 at 06:42 AM.
"If they move, kill'em!"
-
ScriptFEST Mod
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Tucson, AZ
- Posts
- 1,842
06-09-2012 05:52 AM
Don't I finished my minutes before I uploaded it yesterday.
-
Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Posts
- 81
06-13-2012 09:43 PM
Loved the ending. A line or two that twists everything. Thought the descriptions were good, painted a nice picture, and most of the dialog felt more-or-less right.
This was a fantastic bit of scene description:
Like some LSD induced conch shell carved from obsidian.
A few of the scenes could have been ended a bit sooner. For example:
Jones
That's impossible.
Warneck
For any earth based technology.
Not sure Warneck's line is buying you anything. End on the impossibility of it all, IMO.
The bit about the captain "guaranteeing" anything... not sure it's needed either. I mean, both characters know it's dangerous, don't they...
The "poo poo" seemed a touch wrong too. Either the guy is professional enough not to use that word (my expectation) or the whole thing is loose in an Aliens tort of way where it wouldn't need to be called out. I mean, I think I know what you're trying to do - paint this as WAY out of the ordinary - but I don't know that this is the right way to do it. (Not that I have anything against what is one of my favorite words...)
That being said, a nice read with a good ending twist.
Craig
-
Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Location
- Seattle, WA
- Posts
- 81
06-13-2012 09:44 PM
OK weird. The word F*ck just turned into poo poo. What are we, five years old?
-
Knight of the Holy Order
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Springfield, MO
- Posts
- 2,707
06-14-2012 06:38 AM
"This isn't Star Trek." Hahah! Loved that line.
I enjoyed the script. Initially I was worried that it would be average space science-y kind of fair, but the ending really snapped everything into place and made it very enjoyable. Poor aliens.
Chris Johnson
-
Knight of the Holy Order
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Springfield, MO
- Posts
- 2,707
06-14-2012 08:59 AM
Also curious if you're a Babylon 5 fan. The poster and use of the name "Agamemnon" made me wonder.
Chris Johnson
-
Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2003
- Location
- St.Louis area, USA
- Posts
- 499
06-14-2012 09:17 AM
No, I was thinking along the line of Greek mythology rather than Babylon. But it may have creeped in there without me realizing it.
The poster was something I whipped up from scratch in VUE and Poser Pro. My concept of an asteroid field.Last edited by taylormade; 06-14-2012 at 09:24 AM.
"If they move, kill'em!"
-
Knight of the Holy Order
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Springfield, MO
- Posts
- 2,707
06-14-2012 10:35 AM
Cool. Just curious.
Chris Johnson
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts