Refraction

[LbSand]

refrac1.jpg

Refraction
by Michael Newcomb

A deep space listening post receives a signal that contains something that could lead to the unraveling of humanity.

[krestofre]

Who doesn't love some good unravelling of humanity?

Welcome to the fest!

[Chris_Keaton]

I like the play on Alien's scream tagline.

[LbSand]

First draft is done and is 27 pages, eek. Not sure if there are 8 tight pages in there.

[Chris_Keaton]

Wow! 27 pages. Uh, yeah.

[Egg Born Son]

How do you get to 27(!) pages before you realise you've gone over? That's some strong coffee! Great poster.

[ZellJr]

Hahaha why did you go to 27? At some point you had to have noticed the story was running a bit long.

[LbSand]

It wasn't that I couldn't count, I was trying to just write. It was my first attempt at a script and I felt I was getting bogged down in trying to mimic formatting that I had seen. It led to little writing. So I just wrote until the story I wanted to tell was done.

There is too much description and the setting is too complex to make sense in that small number of pages. Or better yet, I haven't figured out how to do it.

[Egg Born Son]

Writing short scripts is far harder than long scripts. It is the equivalent of poetry vs novel. Any weak element is amplified as it has nowhere to hide. You need to come up with a simple solid idea and frame a story to deliver it. There's no room for subplots, multiple character arcs or wide ranging locations. If you're not careful exposition might take up half your script. Then there is the inevitable twist ending that takes the place of all these things. A good twist ending has to seem like it isn't a twist ending. A good one expands the world of your story in a single point of realisation that flows naturally from the story. A bad twist ending (or at least one not often done well) is one that turns the story on its head. It is less satisfying because it feels like being tricked and almost always relies on withheld information. I think the ending of Seed in this comp perfectly illustrates a good ending. After existing in the special world of the alien the story reaches its goal when she finds her father. At which point the universe expands to include the world we inhabit with the consequences of her actions bearing down on us. Awesome.

Try coming up with an ending first and then writing towards it. That should help you focus your idea into 8 pages. I usually aim to write 10 pages and trim 2 but I think next time I'm going to aim to write 6 to allow a freer hand in the rewriting phase. And most importantly keep writing. And rewrite everything several times. The rewrite is where you hone your craft. The other best general tip I can give is when you get stuck, throw away the part that is most dear to you. It is often the main inspiration of the story. Nine times out of ten the best bit is crippling the rest. Once you can ruthlessly smash apart your own work you will be empowered.

Keep writing and commit to submitting something for the next one, no matter how bad. The advice you will get is invaluable. Read all the scripts and then the comments left in the threads, you will learn a lot. And remember, it's only worth taking advice you are ready to hear. It's all constructive criticism, if you learn one thing out of every fest, that's solid progress.