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    Member EJBinSD's Avatar
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    Impressive piece of work. I liked everything being in a single shot and it was well layed out and shot. Costumes and make up looked good.

    I didn't care for the processing on the VO, though. I didn't see how the distortion added to the context of the film as it seemed to be processed in a distancing manner as opposed to a manner that pulls you into the subject matter and the mind of the protagonist as the poem is read.


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    Senior Member dougspice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lawriejaffa View Post
    I dooooon't know dougspice ;)
    Owen's critique here over (the latin quote dulce et decorum est po patria mori) was that war was not glorious and death hardly sweet. He sought to reflect that by the horrors of 'modern' warfare and the inhumane lengths wih which life and humanity can be sacrificed. He does this explicitly and violently with a description of a comrade falling victim to a chemical warfare attack. Are you aware it refers to the helplessness of ones fellow man to help another, in the face of a nightmarish weapon? (I've noted in green) the vivid description of agony he sees in his comrade... imagine that occuring in an alien green mist... watching his mate choking and writing in his own melting lungs aaaand...

    Compare it to your dude looking slightly reflective as his mate is plonked on a stretcher with a shot leg. Its well just a bit more forgettable and less urgent than the visuals and message of the poem cited in green above? So im curious what theme you think is 'a straight-line connection' between the poem and film? Im wondering if you ended up drawing a broad/superficial impression of the poem as simply 'war isnt as fun as some might think it is?' - (*whispers* because you might get shot in the leg!...)

    I was taught the ol' filmmaking wisdom that if you hear a dog barking, you don't need to cut to a dog to know there's a dog there. It was intentional design to have this film take place AFTER the critical events; the idea is that our "dude looking slightly reflective" could very well be Owen himself. The poem, notice, is not about what it's like to have your face melted off by nerve gas – it's about what it's like to experience that happening to those around you, which I think is a more critical theme to dwell upon in our day and age. I may have a bias here because I have done work with victims of PTSD, but I would assume most of us know a number of veterans who are returning home, trying to resume a "normal" life after witnessing incomparable horrors. There certainly are many excellent films that speak about the horrors of war by focusing explicitly on the macabre of the dead and dying, but that was not my intention here.

    EJBinSD - thanks for watching. The idea with the VO was again to bridge the two time periods over which the film "takes place." That may not be clear or it may not exactly work.

    Commercial and Creative Director at Psychic Bunny, a hybrid media studio in sunny Los Angeles, California.

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    Senior Member lawriejaffa's Avatar
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    Yep the gas didn't melt your face off incidentally, it drowned victims basically in their own dissolved lungs. The poem is obviously about witnessing the consequences of such a horrific attack - but it attempts to make us bear witness too, that is WHY the poem goes into such detail over the attack itself. If we bear witness to the 'real horrors' of war, we'd not be so naively jingolistic in support of it. That was of course the critique of the poem (versus jingolism.)

    I'm not confronted by the same feelings from the poem with the film, it just trundles on quite easily (but beautifully) without provoking the emotion or having what feels like much to do with the text precisely because there is no horror we bear witness to, or any gas attack (or metaphorical equivelant.) What i do like, is the soldier looking kinda smug at first and then uneasy but its not enough i don't reckon (lol even if ol' Mary Sue told you filmmaking wisdom says do this or that!)

    I may have a bias here because I have done work with victims of PTSD, but I would assume most of us know a number of veterans who are returning home, trying to resume a "normal" life after witnessing incomparable horrors. There certainly are many excellent films that speak about the horrors of war by focusing explicitly on the macabre of the dead and dying, but that was not my intention here.
    Sure I too have worked with victims of PTSD that have served in the military and I too am aware of there being films that speak about the horrors of war.

    My point is that you have chosen a poem very famous for its utter horror and yes macabre nature. When you do that, there is already an expectation associated with it. Hence if your going to dispense with the horror and macabre, you gotta have something extra-ordinary to balance against that expectation - and well you didn't. Just something nice but not enough to leave anyone familiar with the poem imo, struck by the power of your film or statement. I fear its a bit pretty (very pretty!!!) but forgettable where as the poem itself stays with you forever.

    // I would suggest if you don't mind - having a radical experiment with the colour grading - lets make it cold and ill looking? Give it a disturbing soundtrack, with a smack of uneasy sound design on the reveal of the injured soldier... and instead of a post processed voice over, get an old dude to do the voice over (it will juxtaposition better with the young soldier) - just some opinion tips!
    Last edited by lawriejaffa; 09-08-2012 at 02:55 AM.
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    Senior Member dougspice's Avatar
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    Well, like I said, we disagree. But that's fine! I appreciate the comments.

    Commercial and Creative Director at Psychic Bunny, a hybrid media studio in sunny Los Angeles, California.

    Producer, Cement Suitcase ( feature film )
    Writer/Director/Producer, Dead Drop ( BetrayalFest finalist ) "A very cool, slick and well done short."
    Producer, The Echo Game ( feature film ) - "There is never a dull moment..."
    Ex. Producer, Coma, Period. ( web series ) - "...few things in web video are done as well as they are in Coma, Period."

    @TheSpiceEffect on Twitter IMDb



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