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    #21
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
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    I guess I'm not a director. That seems like work.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
    ______________________________________________
    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
    Suspense ScriptFest: A Clockwork Darkened(2nd Place)
    Trapped ScriptFest: Trapped (3rd Place)


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    #22
    Senior Member Sunk99's Avatar
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    Apr 2011
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    Michigan
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    Work? No - fun! I use software called FrameForge and storyboard the production in 3D.
    More or less you import your script, design the scenes, add characters/monsters, and props (lots of templates provided - my stickman art sucks).
    Then you just move cameras around how you want them and capture what you see.
    When done - just repeat it live, with actors, a bunch of times.


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    #23
    Senior Member Sarah Daly's Avatar
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    Nice story - I always love the dynamics between grandparents and grandkids. You set the mood very well and it's very clear that you're 'writing what you know'.

    As others have said, there are a few typos/errors and yes - the description blocks should be broken up or shortened. Mostly because it just looks and reads better but also because this is a script not a novel and you should only describe things that are crucial to the story development or vital to setting the tone. I don't think you need to cut much here though because I do like the leisurely pace and that your obvious sailing knowledge comes through. But, do consider at least breaking some of it into paragraphs. No, script readers shouldn't get put off by blocks of detailed description but they do and that's just the way it is unfortunately. I don't imagine that Stephen King would make a very good scriptwriter for that reason :P

    As I said on another script, normally one would describe the scene with blackbeard as the grandfather is telling the story - but as you are only allowed to have two characters I can see why you chose not to. The story might be a little long to sustain the audience's attention without some visual embellishments though. You can only look at one actor talking for so long. Most likely the director will think of something to compliment the dialogue, but nonetheless you'd be best to add some visual cues I think. It's always best to put pictures in the reader's head, even if the director changes these images later.

    But overall I liked this! It's got a 'The Fog' vibe to it - and I love that movie - so well done


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