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    Feedback
    #1
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    Hey everybody, please tell me if this sounds alright in English:

    On a remote island in the Pacific, U.S. and North Korea are fighting each other for an alien ship, apparently deserted but nevertheless dangerous. The Koreans have clone factories, producing thousands of soldiers, while the U.S. has a special "suit" squad, men using a symbiotic suit which gives them superpowers. However, the "suit" developped a side effect: it altered the mind of the soldiers, so the special unit went rogue. They blamed their liders of incompetence and greed, and took the "alien problem" in their own hands. That's when Captain John Angel and his Delta Team gets brought on the island to take back the control over the "suits" unit.



    Thanks. Any suggestion will be much appreciated.
    Last edited by djinjis; 02-23-2012 at 05:28 AM.


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    #2
    Senior Member Chris Johnston's Avatar
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    I'm not an english major but here's some thoughts....

    On a remote island in the Pacific, U.S. and North Korea are fighting each other for an alien ship, apparently deserted, but nevertheless dangerous. The Koreans have clone factories, producing thousands of soldiers, while the U.S. has a special "suit" squad, men using a symbiotic suitS which gives them superpowers. However, the "suit" developped a side effect: it altered the mindS of the soldiers, so the special unit went rogue. They blamed their liders (leaders?)of incompetence and greed, and took the "alien problem" inTO their own hands. That's when Captain John Angel and his Delta Team gets brought (get brought? rethink that one...) onTO the island to take back the control over the "suits" unit.
    DVX 100 / Sony FS100 (x2) / Canon 60D /HMC 150


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    #3
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    Thank you, Chris. I don't know why it's so hard... I hate not being able to communicate.

    On a remote island in the Pacific, U.S. and North Korea are fighting each other for an alien ship, apparently deserted, but nevertheless dangerous. The Koreans have clone factories, producing thousands of soldiers, while the U.S. has a special "suits" squad, men using symbiotic suits which give them superpowers. However, the "suits" developed a side effect: it altered the minds of the soldiers, so the special unit went rogue. They blamed their leaders of incompetence and greed, and took the "Alien Problem" into their own hands. That's when Captain John Angel and his Delta Team is brought/("arrive" sounds better?) onto the island to take back the control over the "suits" unit.

    or

    On a remote island in the Pacific, U.S. and North Korea are fighting each other for an alien ship, apparently deserted but nevertheless dangerous. The Koreans have clone factories, producing thousands of soldiers, while the U.S. has a special "suit" squad, men using a symbiotic suit which gives them superpowers. However, the "suit" developed a side effect: it altered the mind of the soldiers, so the special unit went rogue. They accused their leaders of incompetence and greed, and took the "Alien Problem" in their own hands. That's when Captain John Angel and his Delta Team are brought onto the island to take back control over the "suits" unit.

    Thank you, again.
    Last edited by djinjis; 02-23-2012 at 03:57 PM.


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    #4
    Chapelgrove Films
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    Try this...

    On a remote island in the Pacific, the United States and North Korea fight each other over an alien ship -- a craft apparently deserted but nevertheless dangerous. The Koreans use clone factories to produce thousands of soldiers. But the Americans have a special "suit squad" -- men equipped with symbiotic suits which give them superpowers. However, the suits develop a side effect, altering the minds of the soldiers and turning them into a rogue force. Accusing their leaders of incompetence and greed, the rogues take the "alien problem" into their own hands. In desperation, the Americans bring Captain John Angel and his Delta Team onto the island to regain control over the superpowered rogue unit.

    It's a KILLER connection!

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    #5
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    Thank you, David.


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