Thread: Overcome

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    #21
    Senior Member Edgen's Avatar
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    Holy saved by a voiceover batman...

    Absolutely stunning visuals and music. I was appalled to not see the credits of both the narrator and composer in the ending credits as those were the first two I wanted to see when it finally ended.

    I'm not sure this was the fest you needed to submit to. Sure, venturing to the wilderness can be scary and can have some unexpected encounters, but we really didn't see the sheer terror of the cloaked figure. Perhaps he was just a misunderstood blacksmith with a hankering for a couple deep, black and thick cigars? Maybe it was casper the ghost and he just ran into old man jim's coal factor a few miles north to fetch his master a cup of cocoa. I hope you get my point. If I were to believe this cloaked character as scary, i want to see it's wrath so that I can sympathize for the protagonist and feel for his imminent danger. Not because a deep throated grandfather tells me he's bad.

    However; the use of the voiceover saved the story because without it, this would have been a disaster. Because of the voiceover I understood the underlying lesson. "Go into battle prepared and equipped for victory". (not blind and stupid)

    again, not having credits really urked me. If you took the time to have slow slowing credits, you could have cut out a repeating establishing shot or six to include the rest of your crew who worked so hard on your film. If you did the VFX, sound, Music, edit, CC, DP, and Acting, then please forgive me and I apologize for credits.

    Looking forward to seeing your next entry. Perhaps let's see a few character knee deep in dialog as strong as the VO's.

    /j


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    #22
    Senior Member J Davis's Avatar
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    nice one ryan,
    maybe put a grade on there or shoot everything at twilight to enhance the mood?
    Solid effort

    edit: sorry I forgot to mention - loved the costumes of the guy reading in the library
    J.Davis
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    #23
    Senior Member Tim Joy's Avatar
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    Yeah! Very good feel to it. The music was great and what a sweet location.
    Have to give this one a second viewing. Great job.


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    #24
    Senior Member Ryan Farnes's Avatar
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    Thanks for the comments and critiques everyone.

    Quote Originally Posted by dre83 View Post
    A few things I notice:

    The sound (the wind, the crickets) was it the real sound, the sound that was there during recording ? Or did you add it later.
    Between the long shot and a closer shot at the beginning I hear a "cut" in sound. The sound suddenly going lower. And also a small "whoos" sound (from wind or so).

    You did some Foley also ?
    I did cut the sound between shots, it probably is not as subtle as it needs to be in the transition. Sound was a mix of location on camera sound and Soundtrack Pro assets.

    Quote Originally Posted by dre83 View Post
    The "medium" around 00:32, is it a digital zoom ? Done in your editing program ?
    Focal length change. Went from wide end of my kit lens to a tighter framing.

    Quote Originally Posted by dre83 View Post
    At 00:52, is he turning his head because it's in the script ? Or was he going to turn and shout "is it ok ????" :-p (just wondering)
    I worked on it all week leading to submission...up until submission. A few last minute changes left mistakes like that throughout.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunk99 View Post
    Wow what a cool narrator voice! And look at that house! Don't tell me you are able to film there?
    Its an old historic house...I just filmed some exteriors was all. Didn't even try to get inside. Its on a research campus...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunk99 View Post
    Okay you finally show the actors face at 2:14. So why hide him before?
    I didn't realize this flaw until editing. I agree. There was no point to hiding him...just happened due to lack of planning/execution.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunk99 View Post
    2:26 - "A creature" - uhh how about an evil black demon guy - run! Cool effect. He did run, but not like he should have with a demon on his six. Sort of odd - chased, then calm studying.
    Agreed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunk99 View Post
    Story? The flame at 5:06 didn't appear to come from within him. Blasted the bad guy in one shot? Kinda anti-climatic. Good cine - story needs fleshed out. Good entry.
    Agreed as well. If nothing else, I will get a writer on my next project.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgen View Post
    Absolutely stunning visuals and music. I was appalled to not see the credits of both the narrator and composer in the ending credits as those were the first two I wanted to see when it finally ended.
    You're absolutely right. Voiceover was Nick Ellsworth, http://www.nickellsworth.com/ and music was from tracks I licensed by Dynamedion. http://www.dynamedion.de/

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgen View Post
    I'm not sure this was the fest you needed to submit to. Sure, venturing to the wilderness can be scary and can have some unexpected encounters, but we really didn't see the sheer terror of the cloaked figure. Perhaps he was just a misunderstood blacksmith with a hankering for a couple deep, black and thick cigars? Maybe it was casper the ghost and he just ran into old man jim's coal factor a few miles north to fetch his master a cup of cocoa. I hope you get my point. If I were to believe this cloaked character as scary, i want to see it's wrath so that I can sympathize for the protagonist and feel for his imminent danger. Not because a deep throated grandfather tells me he's bad.
    I agree. I really needed to do more here. I simply let time get the better of me. In all phases of production....

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgen View Post
    again, not having credits really urked me. If you took the time to have slow slowing credits, you could have cut out a repeating establishing shot or six to include the rest of your crew who worked so hard on your film. If you did the VFX, sound, Music, edit, CC, DP, and Acting, then please forgive me and I apologize for credits.
    No need for apology, hehe, but I did do the VFX, sound, edit, CC, DP, and was the black figure. I'm embarassed to have left off the voiceover and music from credits. I was rendering that minutes before doing a 1-pass export to upload, I can only attribute it to being frazzled. :-(


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    #25
    Senior Member ZazaCast's Avatar
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    Just a beautiful film all-around in a storybook way. Smooth narration, beautiful score, thoughtful images, costumes, locations, VFX...it is all just a neat & tidy package.
    Very well done Ryan!

    BUT... I have to agree that this might not have been the fest for it. I never felt the 'scare'.
    Looking forward to all your future films!


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    #26
    More Cowbell Pictures Michael Anthony Horrigan's Avatar
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    Nice looking movie. The narration, while good, was way too heavy handed at times. We see him pouring over books.. "I studied!"
    It was used far too much as a tool to tell us everything.

    This had a very nice look and production value to it. Sounded fine. I really liked the music.
    Not scary at all but I think it was enough to suit the theme.

    Hoping to see more from you in the next fest.


    MONSTERFEST : 4th Place - Sustained Excellence Award - WESTFEST: 3rd Place - THRILLFEST: 3rd Place


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    #27
    Senior Member Hawk Teflon's Avatar
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    [can't 'delete' post, so now you get this fun random message]
    Last edited by Hawk Teflon; 11-03-2011 at 08:16 AM.


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    #28
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    Storybook narration. Yes, the voice sounded very professional. Problem? The voice over told the entire story. Filmmaking is about ACTION not TELLING (same with screenwriting). Cut out the narrator, what do you have? Picturesque setting, nice looking actor, period piece setting, sweet music, but nothing else.

    I know you can do better, Ryan. This fell flat to what you are able to bring to the table. You spent so much time on music, FX (which was just okay for me), setting that you forgot the most important thing - STORY!!!

    With all of that, you could have had something amazing. I did not go for this one, sorry.
    Last edited by Charli; 11-06-2011 at 05:05 AM.
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
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    #29
    Senior Member taylormade's Avatar
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    This had a nice look to it, very dreamy and "out of the past."
    The house wss cool and very picturesque, but after the nineteenth shot of it I was getting bored.
    Very good voice to the narrator, but the narration content was plodding and all too obvious at times with him telling us what we are already seeing on the screen.
    The worst part of the narration was when you give away the ending before the climactic battle, the narrator/protagonist tells us he's going to win before the fact.
    I kinda of liked the villain in black, but he made my wife laugh when she watched it.
    I really liked the photography, the sky shots, the grading and the overall feel.
    This really needs to be cut down and paced correctly - it's too long.

    Beautiful looking film. Nice job.
    "If they move, kill'em!"


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    #30
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    Crap, my apologizes, I took you for another Ryan. Still, story is missing.
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
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