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    #11
    Senior Member Matt Harris's Avatar
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    I like how the movie made the most of it's location, they moved throughout the house and went room to room, it adds interest. Solid twist ending.
    Matt Harris
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    #12
    Senior Member Nemesis TS's Avatar
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    Thanks for the kind words guys, I appreciate your feedback.
    I've had some issues viewing the entry. I noticed after it was too late that one scene's edits were really out of whack. I edited and then added the leader just before uploading. Premier Pro kept adding the leader to the back of the sequence, so I must have tweaked the edit messing around trying to add the leader.
    There are some jump cuts that I just didn't have any other choice, we shot this in one night and I didn't get all the shots I needed and just dealt with what I had.... not to mention I'm not great at editing.

    Hawk, I agree with you on the handcuffs. But, I have seen it in other movies and figure Hollywood sets the standard so I left it.

    Mobie540, those were not real cops, but they sure looked it wearing those very real looking uniforms.

    Marlon, wow thats some praise from a seasoned guy, thanks man. The audio was the disappointment, I have an awesome boom mic, but since I used the 5D I didn't have a way to use it as it requires phantom power. At least I think thats why it didn't work. So I used the Camera mic. I know terrible. My buddy who does sound was going to help me out, but the timeline was too tight. I did my best, but it really needed more TLC.

    Matt, flat out loved it? WOW! Thanks brotha I appreciate that. We had open range on the house and I used as much of it as I could. Thanks for checking it out man.


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    #13
    Silent Bob's Evil Twin Dustin R. Rogan's Avatar
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    This one flowed very well in my book, agreed the cops acting much stronger than leading actors. If i remember correctly the audio when cop was at the front door erked me, but overall good entry Nemesis!

    Rogan
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    #14
    Senior Member ZazaCast's Avatar
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    Really good film, especially with all those firsts and the tight timeframe!
    The look, feel, acting, sound design and score...all on point. I got that "Natural Born Killers" vibe...spooky.

    Spoiler:
    Breakdown nit-picks:
    - 640x480 was kind of small....it looked much better on my big screen then on the computer.
    - Police were good, but having been involved in police training, there were a LOT of mistakes and those cops were dead before they even entered the house.
    - The lights were off in the house...then magically on when the door was answered.
    - "nine-eleven" should have been "nine-one-one"...two completely different things.
    - funky edit in there...which you explained
    - BEST SHOT OF THE FEST... the cops face bouncing across the floor as he's being dragged! MONEY shot.
    - Bedroom... looked like a basement (no carpet)...then the room didn't jive. Did you use a few different rooms?

    Anywho... Great little film. Congrats to the cast & crew!


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    #15
    Senior Member Nemesis TS's Avatar
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    Thanks Rogan.

    Thanks for the feed back Zaza. I had issues uploading, I actually uploaded twice not sure which one was used, but the first was a very small file size. I've never been good when it comes to compressing the movies down to 100mb.

    The guy turns the light on when he opens the door. I should have had him open the door then turn the light on. I had the same impression you did and I was there.... Dang it.
    We used different rooms, but not different bedrooms. The carpet was being replaced so it was just cement. We don't have basements in california. lol.


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    #16
    Senior Member ZazaCast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nemesis TS View Post
    We don't have basements in california. lol.
    D'OUGH! I didn't know you were on the west coast...and bummer, basements are fun!


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    #17
    Senior Member Chris Messineo's Avatar
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    Intriguing film.

    I liked your actors a lot. They all felt natural. I especially liked both of the cops. They both had a great look and intensity.

    I also liked the use of jump cuts and repetition in the edit - it gave the film a dangerous and edgy feel (although there is a random shot at 2:17).

    However, I did have two issues with the story:

    - The first cop starts out smart, he suspects something's up - he doesn't smell anything - he sees the guy doesn't know his way around the kitchen - he hears a noise upstairs and then, he turns his back on the man. That cop felt smarter than that to me.

    - The twist with Ms. Miller was surprising, but it didn't make a lot of sense to me - it felt a bit forced.

    Still, I really liked the opening here and I think with a slightly different ending this could be really great.


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    #18
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    This was an interesting piece. The cops didn't follow normal protocol. The one guy wouldn't have went alone if he had a partner and the other would've handcuffed him himself. The killer dudes performance bordered on cheesy at first, I don't think he would've been so goofy initially. There was that weird jump cut that Chris mentioned above. The twist was fine for me, but some foreshadowing would've made it better. nice job. Not sure why it was exhibition only though.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
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    #19
    Senior Member Nemesis TS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZazaCast View Post
    D'OUGH! I didn't know you were on the west coast...and bummer, basements are fun!
    I grew up in the mid west and our basements ranged from fun to creepy... Which a creepy basement was also fun!


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    #20
    Senior Member Nemesis TS's Avatar
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    Thanks Chrises? Chris', Chris'es.... Hmm Thanks Cry! Assuming the plural of Chris are Cry.
    Anyway thanks for checking out the movie guys.

    CM: that odd edit was a mistake that happened just before upload. It was fine then after having some issues with adding the leader I messed up the edit some how.

    CK: I'm surprised a few people have mentioned the ill tactics of these officers. I've got to give the audience more credit next time. Stupid me figured Hollywood already blew so much that I could get away with it. Live and learn.

    Thanks for watching.


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