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    A Compassionate Heart - based on real events that took place in Rikuzen Takata City
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    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    "A Compassionate Heart"

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    Senior Member Tom Shortridge's Avatar
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    I'm in the same boat - looking forward to what you come up with!


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    Senior Member Anthony Todaro's Avatar
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    Love true events. Always stranger than fiction. Looks intriguing.
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    Wordsmith & Graphic Designer. Will work for credit, coffee and money.


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    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Probably needs a bit more of an iron out but uploaded.
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    Senior Member RodThompson's Avatar
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    Allow me to be the first!

    YOUR SCRIPT SUCKS!

    Kidding!

    I really enjoyed the approach you took to the assignment. One person standing up for what they believe in amidst the persuasion and almost forceful coercion of others. In a sense, I suppose that is truly the way of the Samurai, and the honorable death only adds to the overall quality of the character in relation to samurai. I think the theme of "guilt" was well-built and setup from the beginning and the quick flash to the younger nurse at the end was a good reminder of that. Overall, I give you good mahks, cuz you're wicked smaht!


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    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Cheers Rod. Also as I said its a touch raw - I just found two typos. DOH.
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    Senior Member RodThompson's Avatar
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    I never find typos when reading (well sometimes) but if the story is good enough, I miss them completely.


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    Senior Member taylormade's Avatar
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    I really like this one. Very well written with a timely and interesting subject. You chose a non=violent plotline, devoid of flashing swords, flying blood and general mayhem. That took guts and you made it work.

    I thought the opening was interesting as you can take it both ways - either Tomoko really did botch the attempt at drawing blood, or she is being blamed for something the young nurse actually did. Both thoughts occured to me as I read the script.

    A minor nit-pick - I don't think they can announce the earthquake before it actually happens. Could be wrong on that one, but the woman announcing they had detected a quake and the time before it hit threw me off. The only spot in the script that took me out of the story.

    And of course the ending. It has to be, it's the whole reason the script exists, but you can see it coming so early that it destroys much of the tension. But then, this script has a very Japanese feel to it, one of inevitability, which makes it work in the context of the story.

    Great job, one of my favorite scripts in the contest.
    "If they move, kill'em!"


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    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Thank you for your comments. Really glad you enjoyed it.

    Quote Originally Posted by taylormade View Post
    A minor nit-pick - I don't think they can announce the earthquake before it actually happens. Could be wrong on that one, but the woman announcing they had detected a quake and the time before it hit threw me off. The only spot in the script that took me out of the story.

    Just on that point. Its an interesting one for sure. But its based on fact. Theres even a mobile phone app in wide use that does this very thing. The city hall in each city area is the hub and they all have early warning systems.

    How it works - if the earthquake is centred below the area to be warned - well then no, your just going to be hit, such as the Christchurch NZ earthquake. This large earthquakes' epicentre was out to sea and as such an early warning alert was issued to most areas. Same for the resulting Tsunami.

    Take a look at this as an example of what Im talking about

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    Senior Member KhamIsk's Avatar
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    It's very straight forward. Easy to film perhaps? Very easy to follow. A bit simple perhaps for my tastes but I like complicated stuff. You gave it depth when said she couldn't do the injection right - I really appreciated that part. Yes she might be not as experience at what she does but she has a heart...- that's beautiful.
    Reminds me of Hotel Rwanda somewhat but that one is a feature. Have you seen it? Maybe yours could be developed into a feature...


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