Mobie, as previously stated I really liked the environment you set up and the overall atmosphere around this future scenario - which, btw, totally believable (as I stated before), because you used a current fear. I thought that was a great idea.

Within this interesting believable world the things that took place did at times seem a little forced - like heres what you should be thinking now - the most obvious was of course the VO from the protag. And this kind of continued to the end.

I thought it was a really good effort. This world certainly deserves some further exploration as well.