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    #41
    Senior Member hansel960's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Charli View Post
    @han - I actually gave you more than 1 star. Like I said, breaking the 4th wall and the guy in the hallway was funny.
    Sweet!


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    #42
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    Fun little short. This was nicely edited. I loved all the different things the guy did in the hallway, they cracked me up. The story was cute, but I just didn’t buy two of the main plot points. One, why he was vomiting. I wasn’t sure if it was the yogurt or the fact she put dressing on everything, but it came out of nowhere. Secondly, that the girl would care, or even know about it. Overall, the set-up was good but the punch line fell flat for me. Nicely shot, look forward to seeing more from you.


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    #43
    Senior Member hansel960's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4100xpb View Post
    Fun little short. This was nicely edited. I loved all the different things the guy did in the hallway, they cracked me up. The story was cute, but I just didn’t buy two of the main plot points. One, why he was vomiting. I wasn’t sure if it was the yogurt or the fact she put dressing on everything, but it came out of nowhere. Secondly, that the girl would care, or even know about it. Overall, the set-up was good but the punch line fell flat for me. Nicely shot, look forward to seeing more from you.
    Thanks for the comments!


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    #44
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    I enjoyed the characters and acting. The film did not take itself too seriously but had a natural feel that seemed authentic and real and allowed the audience to connect with the characters. I liked how they were having a conversation in all sorts of body positions, camera angles, and activities. The flashbacks to the diner date were funny (I wished there was more to the date disaster. Someone vomiting during a date seems pretty standard nowadays I am thinking...)
    Vimeo
    Crew for Fiction Fest "Undercover"


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    #45
    Senior Member MrFluffy's Avatar
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    This was fun, interesting to see where it was going. Would have worked better with a different title, and maybe enlarging him finding the "dressing with everything" so aweful it made him chuck

    Well produced with a good playout in the hall and bathroom.

    Well done.


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    #46
    Unscripted Mod Erik Olson's Avatar
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    This felt like a professional-grade comedy piece to me. Well crafted, fun to watch. I loved the improvisational feel of their conversation - which was either so well-written or improvisationally-acted that it seemed to come right off-the-cuff. I'd love to see more from these characters.


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    #47
    Senior Member Anthony Todaro's Avatar
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    This works on many levels but it’s charm won me over. The editing is superb. The acting is relaxed and very believable. The intercutting of audio can be tricky but you did it masterfully and kept the pace up. Cinematography was imaginative and the writing was strong. I laughed my arm off when he was hot gluing mini x-mas presents. I loved that. Good show.
    SCRIPTFEST VII TOP 3 | THE MELT | WEBSITE | IMDB | EMAIL
    Wordsmith & Graphic Designer. Will work for credit, coffee and money.


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    #48
    Senior Member hansel960's Avatar
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    Thanks everybody! Appreciate the kind words.


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