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    #51
    Senior Member Anthony Todaro's Avatar
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    Bravo. You got me. It had a Dark Shadows meets Night Gallery thing going on... Like a lost BBC show. That added to it somehow for me. The idea was fun you foreshadowed it and I still never saw it coming. Loved her performance and the tricky dialog. I feel like such a perv now... Thanks. Ha ha. Only suggestion, put the bat in the painting. Bang up job.
    SCRIPTFEST VII TOP 3 | THE MELT | WEBSITE | IMDB | EMAIL
    Wordsmith & Graphic Designer. Will work for credit, coffee and money.


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    #52
    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    Congrats Michael and Richard.
    w: Noel Evans TV

    e: noel@noelevans.tv
    p: +61 (0) 408 455 374


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    #53
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    Congrats on making round two!


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    #54
    Mr. Hollywood Blaine's Avatar
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    Congrats, guys. Good job.


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    #55
    Senior Member Anthony Todaro's Avatar
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    Hell of a start guys!
    Much congratulations.
    SCRIPTFEST VII TOP 3 | THE MELT | WEBSITE | IMDB | EMAIL
    Wordsmith & Graphic Designer. Will work for credit, coffee and money.


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    #56
    Senior Member Mr Blue's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lyonfilms View Post
    She had one line, it was something like "I'm not an object to sell..." or close to that - and I thought her delivery of that line was off.
    I totally agree with you, to cut it down to 6 minutes we had to take a chunk out of the middle where she gets angry and decides to leave, just before she gets the bat. But all in all with out that lead up the line seems out of place

    Quote Originally Posted by 4100xpb View Post
    Also, you spend the entire time in the room up until about 4:30, then you suddenly go outside for a few quick shots. That felt weird, and it didn't really seem to go anywhere. I would have liked it to either stay in the room right until the end, or give a better mix of the two locations throughout.
    That was us trying to show there was an outside and trying to reveal more to the audience that there is a "regular" outside and not some kind of dungeon. Showing him on a cell phone also showed that she was in a lost time and that the world around her was in a modern setting. If more concerns come in about that we might think of ways to cut more in or take it out. Thank you.

    Quote Originally Posted by MrFluffy View Post
    That was great. You spend most of your time thinking "thats inconsistant, whats that supposed to mean", then wham it ends and it all makes sense.
    Excellent.
    Awesome that was the goal. We really wanted people to rewind it and watch it again to see the clues.


    Quote Originally Posted by Anthony Todaro View Post
    I feel like such a perv now... Thanks. Ha ha.
    LOL. That line might go on the dvd cover, haha


    Thank you everyone for giving the film high marks. We are glad to know you liked it. The entire crew is happy to hear their hard work is paying off. Thank You.


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    #57
    cool little "title" Charli's Avatar
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    Congrats on making the 2nd round! You should get the whole cast & crew to sign that bat for ya.
    "Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
    Portfolio of an Entertainment Blogger


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    #58
    Still "Senior Member" Gord.T's Avatar
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    Ahhh, pretty good. I'd never heard of you before so I wasn't expecting a whole lot. Way better than I thought. The actress was really good.
    And you caught me at he end. I couldn't figure out how you could possibly end this in the last moments but you gave me a pleasant surprise.

    Not to give give way any spoilers but it was nice to see Mrs. Gray again. Pleasant surprise man. I enjoyed that one.
    "Remember To Dip the Right End of the Cigar in your $250.00 dollar glass of Brandy." -Doc Bernard.


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    #59
    Senior Member Darkline's Avatar
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    Ha. I quite liked this.

    Some really nice touches made this a film which pulled you in and kept you hooked until the final shot. Kudos for that, and for making 1 location work in a way most would not think to use it.

    It's one of those shorts that once you know the end, it doesn't really leave much to go back and re-watch; however for the first time ride it's fun. SPOLIER...I didn't figure out she was in a painting, but I thought she was in another reality of somekind. Just a bitch for her she didn't get painted having a picnic on the beach.

    Loved the final transition out of the painting, I bet that wasn't easy.

    A simple, atmospheric, but fun short. Well done.


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