Short Silent Film Script

[Chris Messineo]

I was asked to make a silent film for a festival in NYC, Music in the Dark.

The film has to be completely silent and between 2 and 3 mintues in length

The composer, Michael Whalen, improvises a score live while the films play.

Anyway, here is the script I wrote and intend to shoot next month (it is only 3 pages):

The Hunter

I would love to get your feedback.

Thanks,

Chris

[Larry Rutledge]

Good script. I like that it reads smoothly and the story keeps moving forward. I didn't notice anything that hinders the reading in anyway. The foreshadowing was great, especially considering the nice twist - M. Night would be proud

[Moonwind]

Great premise and excellent twist! I do have a suggestion, though, that might make the script a bit tighter. When the Searchers exit the cave, even though they have found a piece of her clothing, there is no real motivation for them to pull out the wooden spikes. I would suggest having the Hunter scream as he is bitten – a blood-curdling scream. Cut back to the Searchers reacting to the scream. Have them pull out the spikes then and start running toward the sound. As they run, they pass a tree with the flyer on it. As they continue on deeper into the woods, push in on the flyer and end it as you have it now.

Hope this is at least some food for thought.

[Chris Messineo]

Moonwind,

I agree, your suggestion would be excellent, however, it has to be a silent film to be part of the festival.

Chris

[Moonwind]

Sorry, my bad - I should have gone into more detail on my thoughts as I was seeing it in my head as a silent film, just wasn't so good at writing it down. When filming you show the Hunter in a silent scream, but where you can tell it is a frightful scream, and use the music to demonstrate the scream (I was hearing violins skreetching when imagining it). Cut to the Searchers with the spikes. As I said - I was seeing and hearing it in my head, it just didn't make it all the way to my fingers and keyboard.

[Chris Messineo]

Interesting, I will have to think about that.

Thanks for the suggestion,

Chris

[vertigo]

Personally I like it how it is. When they initially pull out the wooden spikes I don't think it's a clue to the true nature of the girl, I would assume they are just pulling them out to defend themselves or to hurt whoever or whatever kidnapped, etc. the girl.

[XCheck]

I love it! Nice, short and sweet - good twist. Can't wait to see the film!

[Chris Messineo]

Thanks for the comments!

One of the nice things about shooting something short like this is, we can try a few different things and then play with it in the editing.

Chris

[Barry_S]

Very good stuff. I completely agree with Vertigo. When they pull the spikes out, you want the audience to be thinking that they're looking for whoever is/was menacing the little girl. You only show your cards immediately before the final revealing shot--bang! It would be great if you could shoot this in the Geman Expressionist style. Black and white, very contrasty, lots of shadows, dutch angles, vignetting. You don't have a copy of Magic Bullet with Misfire, do you--because it would be perfect for this.