Thread: Incognizant

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    #21
    Senior Member reem12's Avatar
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    Thanks for feedback Charlie.


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    #22
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Nice job. I know everyone has said it, but the adr really threw me, but I got over it to enjoy the film.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
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    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
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    #23
    Senior Member reem12's Avatar
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    Thanks keaton. We are actually retaking the adr as we are preparing this film to submit to other festivals after this. We will actually be adding a little more depth and expanding to 10 minutes as I cut odd some to make the six minute cut. Thanks for watching and the feed back.


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    #24
    Mod v2.0 Noel Evans's Avatar
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    I thought this was good throughout with a genuine creepy ending.

    Apart from what others said, it may have been a limitation on space or just shot angle, but the room he was in at the hospital seemed like he was in a closet or a little storage room.

    Good job!
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    #25
    Senior Member reem12's Avatar
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    Limitation on space. thanks for the feed back.


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    #26
    Senior Member nouou's Avatar
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    I thought this was pretty entertaining. I couldn't help but laugh throughout because you are visually pointing out what could become a serious problem in society. I personally know people who seem to become deaf and oblivious when they begin to text or go onto their networking site so I could relate to your idea. I didn't understand what the guy was doing in the opening with his fingers but it eventually made sense. The ending shot of him grinning when he sees the nurse pull out her phone was brilliant.


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    #27
    Senior Member reem12's Avatar
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    Thanks nouou. I was on this site so much one year that I got the idea. I became oblivious to my surroundings, kids, wife, etc. I think just the technology gives us a quicker opportunity to check out from reality since it takes no effort to grab a phone, log on to computer or whatever is your virtual drug of choice. Lol. When we expand the short out next month I will play on more shock value in the opening.
    Last edited by reem12; 10-25-2010 at 06:14 PM.


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    #28
    Senior Member Darkline's Avatar
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    This was a little gem I saved for the end. I loved the concept. I really like that you give 'social network' a demonic quality. Brilliant. The ending was great, love the viral nature of it wanting to spread. That's how a lot of my favourite horror film end, but you did it with facebook! For me this is one of the most original ideas of the fest hands down.

    My actor Pete needs to see this to get him off bloody twitter 24/7!

    One thing I would have loved to have seen was your opening gambit played differently. You have quite a long conversation in the park of him being sacked for using facebook. If you had dramatised this scene instead (maybe him trying to get away with using facebook during work, or being allured into it and getting caught) you would have created some tension and conflict right from the off, instead of a chat around a table.

    Aside from this, what a fresh look at the theme and I also loved your logo at the start! lol


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    #29
    Senior Member reem12's Avatar
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    Thanks darkline. My original script had the whole office drama scene with other executive bosses hovering over him but budget restraints would not allow a good spot to pull this off in the time frame, but these are things I will talk to cast and free about touching up to take this concept to the next level. I was just telling a friend about your project last night. Well done as well.


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    #30
    Senior Member elsmama's Avatar
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    I quite enjoyed this. The blurring of the real and digital worlds was well executed. I am not sure if this was intentional. but I liked how Michael's wife didn't show up in reflection during the bedroom scene... Nice touch!


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