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    Editing feedback on this 15 second piece (product sizzle)
    #1
    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    Hey guys,

    I had a shoot with a Stylist this past weekend, and between shooting her & her clients/services, she asked if I'd be interested in shooting her makeup (new product line she's offering). I said sure, and thought I'd just put together a fast paced, energetic product sizzle piece.

    She's rec'd some feedback that it's too fast paced at the beginning, and that the viewers would like to see it slower ... but this is from demographics that are closer to their 50's, where I think her main demographic for this line are folks from early 20's to early 40's. I've got an idea of how I can "slow it down" in the shot/edit selection, while still sticking with the same drum loops, but someone else in the industry told me they thought it was fine as is.

    Just looking for some various feedback before putting any more time into this (thanks!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56ElNYtQ86w

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    I AGREE
    Norm Sanders
    Director/Producer/Editor/Writer/Blah Blah Blah


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    #2
    Indie Arms Member Doc Bernard's Avatar
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    First 5 seconds.........choppy as hell. No cohesion in the editing. I saw it as 4-5 different scenes, not different views of the same thing. Didn't gel. I am only 40.

    Does that make sense?


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    #3
    Looking for a woman ugafan's Avatar
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    the first few seconds nearly gave me an epileptic seizure.


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    #4
    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    Lol, okay okay! In talking more with the client, she had only rec'd about 4 negative compared to 10 positive, but still ... I think what I'll do is just stick with one major shot during that initial choppy section, and simply stutter/skip several frames at each beat, so we're kind of step progressing through the shot, if that makes sense? Will still give it the sizzle/pizzaz I'm wanting, but not have TOO many different shots/angles thrown in at the beginning.

    Thanks again!
    Norm Sanders
    Director/Producer/Editor/Writer/Blah Blah Blah


    *click titles to view*
    "Meat Market" - Comedy - (Completed - DVD available)
    "The Indispensable Chaucer" - Comedy - 5 min - FINALIST in DVXuser's BetrayalFest
    "Berlin" - Dramatic Period Thriller - 15 min (WINNER - Best Historical Film at Route 66 FilmFest ... nominated for BEST SCORE, BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY, BEST ART DIRECTION at AOF Fest)


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    #5
    Senior Member Jordan Scott Price's Avatar
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    I would consider maybe keeping the screen direction consistent. In the first 5 seconds, some shots make me feel like a pinball bouncing off those rubbery things. Maybe if all those quick cuts were all panning left or all panning right, it wouldn't be quite so jarring.


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    #6
    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    I hope to have it updated & replaced by tonight or tomorrow ... have a paying gig that's taking priority at the moment, but think everyone SHOULD like the next revision much, MUCH better.... I hope.

    Thanks for the input!
    Norm Sanders
    Director/Producer/Editor/Writer/Blah Blah Blah


    *click titles to view*
    "Meat Market" - Comedy - (Completed - DVD available)
    "The Indispensable Chaucer" - Comedy - 5 min - FINALIST in DVXuser's BetrayalFest
    "Berlin" - Dramatic Period Thriller - 15 min (WINNER - Best Historical Film at Route 66 FilmFest ... nominated for BEST SCORE, BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY, BEST ART DIRECTION at AOF Fest)


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    #7
    Senior Member Jon Starr's Avatar
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    I agree with the others, and I'm 24. We younger folks may have short attention spans, but that doesn't mean we like seizures. ;)

    It's not bad though, just tone it down a notch at the beginning.
    "Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms." - Alfred Hitchcock



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    #8
    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    I'm going to freaking just create a 5 minute psycho strobe for you @#$#$%#$'s !

    Sheesh.....complain, complain, complain. ;)
    Norm Sanders
    Director/Producer/Editor/Writer/Blah Blah Blah


    *click titles to view*
    "Meat Market" - Comedy - (Completed - DVD available)
    "The Indispensable Chaucer" - Comedy - 5 min - FINALIST in DVXuser's BetrayalFest
    "Berlin" - Dramatic Period Thriller - 15 min (WINNER - Best Historical Film at Route 66 FilmFest ... nominated for BEST SCORE, BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY, BEST ART DIRECTION at AOF Fest)


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    #9
    Senior Member Jordan Scott Price's Avatar
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    Hahahahaha.


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    #10
    Script Wrangler Norm Sanders's Avatar
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    Okay, try these out:

    BORING version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1STdw4AOmZ8

    Happy compromise?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHfp_zyK_AA


    I think at this point I'm becoming too close to it to really envision other changes within the 15 second limit I'm wanting for this, so I would be MORE than happy to entertain ideas/thoughts for different cuts, visual effects to put in (i.e. non-cheesy of course), etc.

    Heck, I'll maybe even take this through AE, if need be, though I don't know the program very well, and this is all 100% through Sony Vegas 9. Also, for those interested, this was all shot with the consumer Canon HFS100, stock lens, and three home depot clamp lamps with 100w daylight corrected bulbs, each with a small 1/2 diffuser, and one (over head angle coming from the upper right) with a lavender gel. Overall, two lamps on the product, and one shining onto a matte white board about 10 feet in the background, while the product was sitting on a standard glass cart/tray, tipped at an angle so I could see the glass & the board behind it. First product shoot I've ever tried, BTW.
    Norm Sanders
    Director/Producer/Editor/Writer/Blah Blah Blah


    *click titles to view*
    "Meat Market" - Comedy - (Completed - DVD available)
    "The Indispensable Chaucer" - Comedy - 5 min - FINALIST in DVXuser's BetrayalFest
    "Berlin" - Dramatic Period Thriller - 15 min (WINNER - Best Historical Film at Route 66 FilmFest ... nominated for BEST SCORE, BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY, BEST ART DIRECTION at AOF Fest)


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