This piece needs time to breathe it all happens so quick. Some good shots and the short looks good and is edited quite well. I'm sure you've heard about your actors so I won't really go into it. That being said, the woman playing the wife does a good job, I believed her arc in the short time she had. I liked the concept, the idea was really cool but the execution leaves something to be desired. Nice work, keep it up.
Thread: Facade - by Dauntless Films
Results 41 to 50 of 50
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10-29-2010 02:46 PM
Scriptests: Think Happy Thoughts / Praying for Bears / End of the Line / Contact
DVXFESTS: Losers In Excess / Caged / Out of Time
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- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- PDX
- Posts
- 751
10-29-2010 03:14 PM
Hey there! I'm a bit late getting to this, so I'll skip over the comments that have been said and focus on what went right in this film. First, story, nice twists, good characters. Could have gotten into it a bit faster (first scene between husband and wife could be chopped in half and still gotten the point across). But I appreciated that there WAS a story here. Thanks for that. I also really liked the look of those scenes in the kitchen (just watch your focus). Can't really say why I liked it, but it appealed to me.
Nice job overall.
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11-01-2010 08:23 AM
Yeah my pacing suffered with the cuts I made. I should have done a better job.
Thanks for complimenting her, I thought she did a great job!
Will try to execute that much better next time. Thanks for posting your critique!
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11-01-2010 08:25 AM
Hey, I'm late getting to this myself
Thank you for the suggestions. I guess my problem was I did all my chopping in editing, instead of in the story. I didn't quite realize how long it was going to be til most of it was shot, and I didn't have time to re-write and shoot again. So I definitely need to work on that.
Thanks for the critiques and suggestions!
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11-01-2010 12:40 PM
Just watched this again. Next time out, try and watch your use of fade-in/fade-outs and dissolves. I feel like almost every scene in this short is bookended by a dissolve or fade-out and it feels a little repetitive. Try exploring other techniques like match cuts, jump cuts and crash cuts. It's surprising how much you can do with a simple cut instead of relying on effect-transitions.
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11-01-2010 01:08 PM
BTW - I really like all the posters, but I think #3 really fits the film the best.
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11-01-2010 06:03 PM
Advice to make the finals: Top story - could have been a winner IMO. I think you can say a lot without saying so much. These actors had a lot of dialogue at times which made me unsure if the acting suffered because of that or ... Overall Id say your shots and sound are strong enough to get you through. I think you need to just get the story and actors down a little tighter.
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11-05-2010 08:31 AM
Mike - Thanks for that...I didn't notice it myself, but now that you pointed it out...I do heheh
Marlon - Thanks man! Sometimes inspiration hits ya and sometimes it doesn't. I had to make two others before I got the idea for the third!
Noel - Thanks a lot! You're right, less is more. I will definitely focus on the ensuring the story and actors are air tight next time.
Thank you all for the suggestions and critiques!