Thread: Kinship

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    #41
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    I’m glad to see I wasn’t the only one having trouble getting beards to hold up under compression! I really liked your costumes. The dialogue felt a little slow to me – lots of dead space that didn't really build to anything. I wasn’t sure where the story was going when they shot each other. In fact when he first pulled the metal plate out, I thought "oh, cheezy," but the follow-up changed my heart completely - the end came out really nicely. I like the double play on the word kinship. I enjoyed the lush look of this too. Well done.


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    #42
    Mr. Hollywood Blaine's Avatar
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    Overall, I thought you did a very nice job on this. The acting was good. You had a nice location (which I would have liked to have seen you make better use of).

    I thought things bogged down in the second act which turned into talking heads.

    You pretty well had me up to the ending. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, especially since you went to such great pains to set up the relationship between the two brothers. Perhaps, what I'm missing here is some remorse on the older brother's part. After the deed is done and he confronts the men on horseback, I understand why they weren't chased into the woods. It was something I was wondering about during the second act.

    In the end, I think you made an interesting short that kept me watching to find out what happened next.


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    #43
    Senior Member ZazaCast's Avatar
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    Really well done! I thought your actors did a great job, I bought into it. Good story too.
    Oh, and the score was very well done. Beautifully shot in a nice location.

    The only thing that really jumped out at me was the handheld shot at 3:30 when the older brother helps the other up off the ground and you follow...for some reason this pulled me out of the story...too shaky..something... or maybe it's just me?

    Either way...Great job on this film!


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    #44
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    The voice at the opening part.. Was that recorded between buildings ?

    I hear rain.... I don't see rain... Or I'm blind :-p

    At 01:32 I hear fasing (or phasing), have you used 2 lavs and a boom ? Or 2 booms ?
    I hear it in the rain too... So it rained for real ?

    Some up and downs in the sound... Actualy if you have to lower or higher dialogue level...(or direct sound) you have to fill it up with another ambiance. So you don't get "suddenly going down or up" things

    Sometimes locations do have a "sound design" already... But still other ambiances are always added to make it "smooth".

    I realy like the shot of the deer. It's not just in there because you thought "whooow that deer is standing still, it's so cool !!!". But I find that it fits.

    I understand the story. The daughter of that one guy is holded by a few men untill he kills that other guy.. Well I missed that information at the beginning actualy.
    Or was it ment to be I have a feeling I get it at the end ?
    SOUND EDITING - SOUND DESIGN - AND ALSO SOUNDRECORDING

    philipsfilmsound.com


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    #45
    Senior Member Mobie540's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dre83 View Post
    The voice at the opening part.. Was that recorded between buildings ?

    I hear rain.... I don't see rain... Or I'm blind :-p

    At 01:32 I hear fasing (or phasing), have you used 2 lavs and a boom ? Or 2 booms ?
    I hear it in the rain too... So it rained for real ?

    Some up and downs in the sound... Actualy if you have to lower or higher dialogue level...(or direct sound) you have to fill it up with another ambiance. So you don't get "suddenly going down or up" things

    Sometimes locations do have a "sound design" already... But still other ambiances are always added to make it "smooth".

    I realy like the shot of the deer. It's not just in there because you thought "whooow that deer is standing still, it's so cool !!!". But I find that it fits.

    I understand the story. The daughter of that one guy is holded by a few men untill he kills that other guy.. Well I missed that information at the beginning actualy.
    Or was it ment to be I have a feeling I get it at the end ?
    Opening was dialogue as they were running into a valley.

    The rain was real, wasn't planned. They were under a canopy of trees so you don't see it too much. Some shots it was raining, so shots it wasn't.

    I used a boom with a shotgun mic.

    Yeah, you ever seen a deer crap in the woods? I have and I grabbed the camera. Happy accident.

    The ending was the big reveal and motive for the main character.


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    #46
    Senior Member Brian Parker's Avatar
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    Hey Mobie. Good film man. It was well written and I think your actors did a good job. You had a nice location and I really liked the first shot, especially the sky. I see you had a cutaway shot when they fired on each other as well. I found it to be very effective. Good work man!


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    #47
    Senior Member Susanne G.'s Avatar
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    In this filmfest there are more than one film with a big dialog part and I have to say it is generally a bit tiring for me. But in your short I enjoyed so much the acting and this made it easier to have attention to it. Especially the actor who died had a great performance. Compliments!

    Susanne


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    #48
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    one of the strongest films of the fest, top 3. everything was very professionally done


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    #49
    Senior Member Russell Moore's Avatar
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    Good story. Strong actors. Really told an effective story in the time limit given. Beautiful location as well. This was strong.
    the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"

    Need a short script?
    Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.

    screenwriter75@yahoo.com


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    #50
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    yeah I'm going to rewatch this one tomorrow but this one was right up there with Damage Done and By Hook or Crook


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