Thread: A Dying Love

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    #11
    Junior Member
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    Mar 2010
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    Hi everyone. I'm so sorry I'm late. I haven't been on the computer as much since I took a nasty fall and injured my arm. Doing physical therapy and all that, trrying to get better. I didn't know I had a thread until someone told me.

    Thanks for all of the input. Nicely done. For those who may be a bit confused by the story, Bill is the killer. I hoped that would be clear because he wanted the ring that she noted was dear to him, and he left the rose behind, which would typically indicate someone cared greatly for her.

    Oh, and the McGuffin is the ring.

    Again, nice job with your opinions, everyone, and thanks again!

    Last edited by vickyn; 03-24-2010 at 08:03 PM.


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    #12
    Senior Member jamiejay's Avatar
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    Jul 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by vickyn View Post
    Hi everyone. I'm so sorry I'm late. I haven't been on the computer as much since I took a nasty fall and injured my arm. Doing physical therapy and all that, trrying to get better. I didn't know I had a thread until someone told me.

    Thanks for all of the input. Nicely done. For those who may be a bit confused by the story, Bill is the killer. I hoped that would be clear because he wanted the ring that she noted was dear to him, and he left the rose behind, which would typically indicate someone cared greatly for her.

    Oh, and the McGuffin is the ring.

    Again, nice job with your opinions, everyone, and thanks again!

    i knew bill was the killer!

    sorry to hear about your arm... yikes...
    Script Fest IV: Go West
    Script Fest III:
    Valor

    Script Fest II: Entitled




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    #13
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    Definitely a "thriller" script for me. I thought you did a great job creating the tension and suspense. I kept hoping Holli would get away. I was a bit confused who the killer really was in the end. Also, I wished she was making mashed potatoes and gravy to go with that meatloaf instead of soup! (Just kidding) Great job!


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    #14
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    Jan 2006
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    Was a fast entertaining read.

    • The suggestion of coming doom works good.
    • I liked the suspense on pages 4-6. Good build up. Could work well on the screen if filmed proper.
    • Yikes, that's a violent kill
    • For me as reader your writing aimed at a killer other than Bill from the start. So I liked the "oh btw it is Bill" ending
    Only thing that I found questionable is Bill actually doing this. We don't get a lot of info, but from what you wrote about Bill he didn't seem a guy that would do this masked. And he's still suspect #1 for the police.

    Thanks for the entertaining read, you did a good job.
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a whimper


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