i sincerely wish you had entered this time... your scripts are always well-written and entertaining...
what do you think about my response to alex? would that have made it better do you think?
i liked my dialogue better in previous scripts too... thanks for saying that
i'm happy you liked it... hope to see you next time!
Thread: The Return
Results 31 to 34 of 34
03-19-2010 03:33 PM
03-22-2010 02:16 PM
Hey Jamie...thanks for the kind words.
I was bummed that I didn't get a script in, I had a few ideas, but nothing that seemed strong enough to run with. If you get the chance to read and give me feedback on my Betrayal script (Buck's Best Friend) I'd appreciate it.
I think Alex made a lot of good points(as usual) and I think your ideas are solid.
As far as the couple seeing Jane in a newspaper article, I think that is convincing enough, but it might be tricky to fit into the script.the writer formerly known as "Conlan Forever"
Need a short script? Have an idea? Want to collaborate? Contact me.
03-28-2010 09:20 AM
notes as i go...
Blonde woman, huge house.. already feels like Hitchcock..
is Jane delusional? they don't seem to know who she is..
actually John seems to know something about what's going on.
ok, they seem to know who her father is, because Vera mentions that his death was a suicide.
now John has acknowledged Sarah, kind of anyway. so who are they? why don't they know Jane?
so is John just humoring her about Sarah retrurning?
yes, according to Vera in the kitchen.. this is getting very interesting, mysterious..
the neighbor knows who Jane is!
things are falling apart.. John says the neighbor often confuses Jane and Sarah?
ok ok ok i get it. Vera has become Jane. she and John are the ultimate squatters, claiming the huge house for themselves because she looks so much like Jane.
too bad you ended it on the reveal, i'd love to see how this "situation" plays out. looks like they have a couple more loose ends to tie up if they want to keep living in the big house!
good job, great Hithcock feel.
03-28-2010 05:58 PM
thanks, preston. it was good to see your read-as-you-go reaction because i could tell that it did come across as intended... jane looked like this crazy, delusional intruder... that's what i was hoping for... and you understood the ending perfectly too... glad you liked it.