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    #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris Messineo View Post
    Nice rig. Best of luck in the fest.
    Thanks! and same to you


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    #22
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    updated with the hotel guest's name and some bts pictures


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    #23
    More Cowbell Pictures Michael Anthony Horrigan's Avatar
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    Welcome to the Fest.


    MONSTERFEST : 4th Place - Sustained Excellence Award - WESTFEST: 3rd Place - THRILLFEST: 3rd Place


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    cruel twist of fate
    #24
    Member nils_dvx's Avatar
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    like the triple betrayal ... nice Romeo and Juliet thing going.

    The flashback scenes were the strongest on production and acting.

    the acting and audio could have used some help on the rest.

    nice entry -- the betrayers all betray themselves in the end ....


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    #25
    Joystick Member Richard J. Johnson's Avatar
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    The ADR kind of took me out of it. and the Acting was okay. But I enjoyed the story and some of the shots were great. Overall I enjoyed the film. Nice job. I also liked the fact that everyone died.

    Canon 7D+Teddybear T-Finder+Tamron & Canon Glass+lighting+a bunch of other stuff+2 Beautiful Babies.

    "Torn" Available now!
    http://www.rsquaredfilms.com/films/torn.html

    Vimeo Channel: http://vimeo.com/channels/47561

    "RaZoRbLaDe cItY" December 2010. A Maverick Entertainment Release
    http://www.maverickentertainment.cc/...azorblade-city


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    #26
    Senior Member MrSeth's Avatar
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    My critique for The Perfect Heist
    The story:
    I liked the story and when you told it through flashbacks I understood it better. Liked the concept that everyone dies in the end. A couple things I didn't get. What was the motivation for the first lead actor to kill the girl? When he did kill her, he left the door open, so wouldn't the 2nd guy see her instead of going to the bedroom first? or maybe he was just checking if there was anyone else in that hotel. And lastly I didn't get why he would pick up the drink... it seemed like there should be more of a motivation for him to do that? If it was a careful thought out plan, she would've told him that she is poisoning him and he wouldn't have even touched the drink.. which leads me to interpret that maybe SHE betrayed him as well? lol anyhow I like how I'm thinking about all these things - it just means you told your story with the intent for us to think about these things. Good job!

    The acting:
    I think acting could have been improved but I was still convinced by the characters all the cast played.

    The camerawork:
    You did marvelous with the hv20! Good job.. loved how you made it seem so real.

    The editing:
    Some of the cuts could have been shortened. Again, I liked how you introduced us with the action and then later explained everything that lead up to it. Good job

    The sound and music:
    Honestly, I believe the dialogue editing could be improved a little. The noise could be heard and I could tell when someone was about to talk when the hiss begin. For some reason the audio didn't sync well with the picture (1 or 2 seconds ahead). It may just be my computer.

    Overall impression:
    Simple and sweet. Thanks!

    My favorite shot:


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    #27
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Nice job, but I have to comment on the screenplay. There was no subtlety in the dialog, everything was just blurted out or otherwise 'on the nose'. Actions can sometimes speak louder if not better than words.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
    ______________________________________________
    Samurai ScriptFest: A Dream of Electric Revolution (1st Place)
    Suspense ScriptFest: A Clockwork Darkened(2nd Place)
    Trapped ScriptFest: Trapped (3rd Place)


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    #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by nils_dvx View Post
    like the triple betrayal ... nice Romeo and Juliet thing going.

    The flashback scenes were the strongest on production and acting.

    the acting and audio could have used some help on the rest.

    nice entry -- the betrayers all betray themselves in the end ....
    Thanks for viewing. One lesson that I learned from this film is never used junk audio cable. I almost wanted to drop out when I first heard the noise in the footage


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    #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard J. Johnson View Post
    The ADR kind of took me out of it. and the Acting was okay. But I enjoyed the story and some of the shots were great. Overall I enjoyed the film. Nice job. I also liked the fact that everyone died.
    I'm glad you liked the story. It's my first time doing ADR so there is still room to improve


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    #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_Keaton View Post
    Nice job, but I have to comment on the screenplay. There was no subtlety in the dialog, everything was just blurted out or otherwise 'on the nose'. Actions can sometimes speak louder if not better than words.
    Thanks for viewing! You definitely have the writer's instinct about the screenplay but I kind of like everything to be up front then add a little twist at the end.


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