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    #51
    Senior Member Jaime V's Avatar
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    North Carolina
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    The story was decent, the only thing I thought odd was why were they coming to the hotel in the first place if the guy was in such a rush to leave it because the cops were coming?

    My only suggestion in the future would be to shoot more coverage for dialog so you can spice up the shots a bit. Even with that mirror there with the way your actors were standing you could have angled them and gotten coverage I believe.

    Anyway, congrats on submitting!


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    #52
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    - I guess the first shots were meant to introduce it's a hotel room ?
    They could be skipped I think. The first shot were I knew it's a hotelroom
    was were the boy and girl came in.

    - I hear you've done ADR. Watch out for "proximity effect". It sounds to clean, to close in mike.
    Better was to have more distance to the mice. Also watch out not to cut in lines to abruptly.
    And watch out for lipsync.
    Watch out for dialogue levels.
    And the acting was less... I can hear they're reading there text. (Am I right ?)

    - It's great you've added sound effects (closing door, opening door), but also here watch out for proximity effect. The closing of the door sounded "to clean, to near".

    - Around 01:13 I have a feeling that the girl will betrayal the boy (or inverse).
    In a way it can be good... Because I want to see if I'm right.

    - Banks coming in the bathroom with a pillow that moves a small thing.. I can't hear it. I didn't notice it in
    sound.. Better was to let it fall down

    - sound effect of the gun wasn't that good (wrong kind of gunshot). But I hear that you've compressed sound of the entire short to reduce space ?

    - I hear sound of closing the bag, I don't hear sound of opening the bag and putting the gun in it.
    Also taking bags makes some sound.

    - Banks is a few feets away from us (around 2:57) but we here him to close.

    - the gunshot is better, but to long... the second "gunshotsound" could be removed (the echo)

    - the acting is less... but that's because the first time doing ADR I guess.

    - Sirene sound.... also from the internet ? :-p it sounds to close...

    In general.. it's good you've done ADR, foley and sound effets. But take care of using the good sound effects. Watch out for proximity effect, and watch to make sound effects sound "logical". A door 54 feets away can sound like it's 54 feets away. Don't skip sound effects (like putting away the gun in the bag).

    The story is a little to long....
    SOUND EDITING - SOUND DESIGN - AND ALSO SOUNDRECORDING

    philipsfilmsound.com


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    #53
    Senior Member ZazaCast's Avatar
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    Mar 2008
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    Upstate New York
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    Good story and you did a great job with the HV20!
    The acting felt a bit flat... or maybe it was the ADR?
    The score also seemed a bit out of place.

    Great job getting a film done and entered. Keep making them!
    Congratulations to cast & crew.


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    #54
    Senior Member namelok's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
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    Well...

    I don't know if it is polite to say this, but man, ADR made me laugh so much in this one
    It made it one of my favorite movies on this fest! For all the wrong reasons, I know!

    The violin score near the end was totally off. Second actors monologue + violin score mood made it a comedy. "Fodka, f**k..." the gulp sound, his "explainable dying" and the police car inside the room didn't help

    Story was good, acting... I don't know, ADR made a mess there, oh, and the second actor reminded me a lot of Ryan Stiles

    Nevertheless, one of my favorites on the fest!


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    #55
    Senior Member namelok's Avatar
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    Is this the fodka guy or he just looks a lot like him?



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    #56
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    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaime V View Post
    The story was decent, the only thing I thought odd was why were they coming to the hotel in the first place if the guy was in such a rush to leave it because the cops were coming?

    My only suggestion in the future would be to shoot more coverage for dialog so you can spice up the shots a bit. Even with that mirror there with the way your actors were standing you could have angled them and gotten coverage I believe.

    Anyway, congrats on submitting!
    The hotel in this movie is their rendezvous after the heist. In the feature script, they stay at another hotel before the heist I had a list of scenes to shoot on the filming day. The list had about 60 scenes but my friend who was supposed to check the list just didn't know what to do and totally forgot about checking the list I was filming, directing, setting up the set and fixing issues in a 4 hour time frame and was so tired that I also forgot about the list at the end. I'm still amazed about the fact that I actually got a film out of all the mess on that day.


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    #57
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by dre83 View Post
    - I guess the first shots were meant to introduce it's a hotel room ?
    They could be skipped I think. The first shot were I knew it's a hotelroom
    was were the boy and girl came in.

    - I hear you've done ADR. Watch out for "proximity effect". It sounds to clean, to close in mike.
    Better was to have more distance to the mice. Also watch out not to cut in lines to abruptly.
    And watch out for lipsync.
    Watch out for dialogue levels.
    And the acting was less... I can hear they're reading there text. (Am I right ?)

    - It's great you've added sound effects (closing door, opening door), but also here watch out for proximity effect. The closing of the door sounded "to clean, to near".

    - Around 01:13 I have a feeling that the girl will betrayal the boy (or inverse).
    In a way it can be good... Because I want to see if I'm right.

    - Banks coming in the bathroom with a pillow that moves a small thing.. I can't hear it. I didn't notice it in
    sound.. Better was to let it fall down

    - sound effect of the gun wasn't that good (wrong kind of gunshot). But I hear that you've compressed sound of the entire short to reduce space ?

    - I hear sound of closing the bag, I don't hear sound of opening the bag and putting the gun in it.
    Also taking bags makes some sound.

    - Banks is a few feets away from us (around 2:57) but we here him to close.

    - the gunshot is better, but to long... the second "gunshotsound" could be removed (the echo)

    - the acting is less... but that's because the first time doing ADR I guess.

    - Sirene sound.... also from the internet ? :-p it sounds to close...

    In general.. it's good you've done ADR, foley and sound effets. But take care of using the good sound effects. Watch out for proximity effect, and watch to make sound effects sound "logical". A door 54 feets away can sound like it's 54 feets away. Don't skip sound effects (like putting away the gun in the bag).

    The story is a little to long....
    It's nice to have a sound guy commenting on my film I fixed some of the problems that you mentioned in this Youtube version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TND3trEif_4


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