Thread: The Bells

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    #11
    Senior Member Bigmagic's Avatar
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    I don't have Chris's knowledge of script format but I liked this one a lot. For me in a short format having a complete story is a big deal and I think you succeeded. I liked the way you introduced the principals and developed the conflict, I think the weakest link is the end which didn't work for me but it did kind of wrap up the story arc. I liked it.


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    #12
    Senior Member nitramlehcar's Avatar
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    You fit in a hell of a lot of action in 10 pages. Fun read. And I love the poster.
    "Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." ~T. Leary


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    #13
    Senior Member Michael Carter's Avatar
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    No offense at all & thanks for your time on this, much appreciated - this is the first time I've tried to format a screenplay, using a word template (& I hate word, gimme InDesign any day…) (Anyone know of an IDD template for scripts??)

    Couple responses - not expecting this to be shot, I figure once you start writing for "guerilla shooting" you sure lose a lot of options.

    I've read a lot of scripts over the years - made of point of reading "Avatar" before I saw it (hey, no spoilers, I've seen "Dances with Wolves") because Cameron does a good job of writing action (his dialogue, on the other hand…). I suppose I do need to think more about (not) writing like I'm a DP. The thing that surprises me on most scripts is how "small" things seem on the page, that are epic on the screen - seems like few writers surpass that (but then again, those movies do get made).

    Main problem for me was, came up with the idea and gave myself about an hour - this fest fell in the midst of one an insane work week which ended with the complete death of my Mac (about an hour after I uploaded the script). Missed every other damn fest because I haven't had time to finish & polish… so I took it as "See what you can do without overthinking". (Well, I gave myself another 20 minutes to chop five or so pages out too.) I'm just shocked it's not riddled with typos and WTFs from missing paragraphs…

    It's embarrassing to say I spent as much time on the poster... but, that's more of my day-job thing, easier to pop back into it waiting for client feedback.

    Hopefully I can read the other scripts soon - I'm self employed & moving from PPC to Intel in 48 hours has aged me a year or two - planned on taking my time with that one. (And jesus, been a $3k week already...)

    Thanks again - I have several longer things that are written more as long, long notes or treatments. Food for thought should I polish them up.
    Last edited by Michael Carter; 03-17-2010 at 08:09 AM. Reason: typo


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    #14
    Senior Member Michael Carter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chris_Keaton View Post
    What? We don't get a 'fade in'.
    Just curious - say your movie opens black, with, whatever, "the sounds of the city" and then cuts in to your visual; is the proper terminology "CUT IN"??


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    #15
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michael Carter View Post
    Just curious - say your movie opens black, with, whatever, "the sounds of the city" and then cuts in to your visual; is the proper terminology "CUT IN"??
    Never heard of 'cut in'? Might be a director thing.

    You can start with your dialog or sounds and then the fade in when the visuals come up. I find that if you write the feel and descriptions solid the director will feel/know what you want and will say, 'maybe a cut in would look good here'. You want to direct without appearing to direct. Directors hate the writer directing them.

    In word I built styles like 'Scene Header', 'Character Name', 'Dialog', etc. This way I can just write and then click the styles I want. I've just moved to Word 2007, so I'm learning it all over agian
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    #16
    Senior Member Michael Carter's Avatar
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    Well, what I mean is from black (in this example) a sudden cut to the scene vs. a fade. Fairly common, sort of startling... often just audio, maybe the first few credits over black, and then a sudden cut into the first scene, often a "sudden" visual explanation of the sounds you've been hearing. Wish I could think of a specific film that opens this way. Cut vs. fade.


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    #17
    ScriptFEST Mod Chris_Keaton's Avatar
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    Gotcha! I guess you write it the way you want it shot. However, the opening is usually something the director comes up with on their own, you know they like to play with fancy intros and flying titles etc.
    Chris Keaton - Writer | Website | Email | imdb |
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    #18
    Senior Member Michael Carter's Avatar
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    Yeah, ever see the "making of" for the Thing remake - the guy burning a garbage bag to make the flaming title-logo? Wonder if he's using AE now?

    & Nitra, thanks - love your sig!


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    #19
    Senior Member Anthony Todaro's Avatar
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    Check out the active voice you might dig it, might not. =) Check the standards for spec script format and learn them well they will make people know you know what you are doing. <<That's if you plan to peddle scripts, otherwise run wild. Format is important to a crew, so remember that when you alter it. Always, use FADE IN: upper left always also use page numbers starting on page 2. Try to avoid any parenthetical that isn't V.O. or O.S. FADE OUT should be flush right.

    Good story behind all those camera directions!!! =)
    I liked at first, I thought the military was shooting at them, then it wasn't the military! What was the MacGuffin though?
    I think the visuals in this would make a great feature. Expand it and sell it to Spielberg!! He's got the cash! Nice work.
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    #20
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    It reminded me of signs. I like that the ufo had bells. There were points where I was confused, but it made sense in the end. I think I understand the concept of a MacGuffin. Was the MacGuffin the camera memory card? Nice job.
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