Thread: myPhone

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    #31
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    Thanks! To everyone that's watched it or will watch it, be sure to watch through the credits. The fun isn't over yet.



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    #32
    Senior Member MrSeth's Avatar
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    My critique for myPhone
    The story:
    To be honest, it was kind of predictable because they emphasized the phone too much? Besides that, I thought it was very funny. Loved the touch for the flashback scene.. however truthfully I feel like if you got rid of the flashback and told it in a straight linear, it would be much more funny. What do you think? The dialogues were great! Well told story.

    The acting:
    The acting was great and everyone's character was fit for them. I really like the lead actress's facial expressions when he's on the phone, very cute!

    The camerawork:
    LOVED IT. All the shots and angles were in harmony. Contrast was great- loved the DOF shots.

    The editing:
    Went along perfectly and told the story very well. I liked the transition in the beginning from the title to the first shot.

    The sound and music:
    Music enhanced the story. Sound design overall was very professional

    Overall impression:
    LOL at the ending after the credits.. very funny.

    My favorite shot:


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    #33
    Joystick Member Richard J. Johnson's Avatar
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    LOL. Great film. I pretty much agree with Seth. Damn fine acting, Damn fine Actress.

    Canon 7D+Teddybear T-Finder+Tamron & Canon Glass+lighting+a bunch of other stuff+2 Beautiful Babies.

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    #34
    Senior Member RodThompson's Avatar
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    I'm at the point where I'm having to ditto people's responses because I'm in total agreement. This made me chuckle more than a few times because not only do I know dudes like that, but also because the actors made it so damned believable. KUDOS!


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    #35
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    Thanks everyone! Glad you enjoyed the film.

    Getting to the predictable part, I have some questions for you:

    1. By predictable, do you mean you actually knew the ending before you saw it, or was it just not a surprise to you?
    2. At what point did it become apparent to you what was happening or going to happen?
    3. Do you feel the title has anything to do with it being predictable?
    4. In the gym scene, with the shot of Rob holding up the weights and saying "I've got everything you need", would it be less predictable if in that shot you couldn't see the weights as well or not see them at all? I have a closer shot in which we have takes where you can't see the weights and where the weights barely make the bottom of the frame.

    Look forward to hearing your feedback. Thanks!



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    #36
    Joystick Member Richard J. Johnson's Avatar
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    1. and 2. I could see the end when he first opened the bedroom door and said the dialogue. that was the key for me figuring it out. If he would have just opened the door and you would have cut before he said anything I would not have figured it out.

    3. The title to me, runs parallel to that scene. I think if his dialogue was out it would have made it more of suprise.

    4. IMO the weights made no difference.

    Just my 2. I hope it helps.

    Canon 7D+Teddybear T-Finder+Tamron & Canon Glass+lighting+a bunch of other stuff+2 Beautiful Babies.

    "Torn" Available now!
    http://www.rsquaredfilms.com/films/torn.html

    Vimeo Channel: http://vimeo.com/channels/47561

    "RaZoRbLaDe cItY" December 2010. A Maverick Entertainment Release
    http://www.maverickentertainment.cc/...azorblade-city


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    #37
    Senior Member randin's Avatar
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    I agree with the above. Either go linear or cut before he opens the door. That should do the trick. If we didn't hear him say, "Is that?" then we wouldn't wonder ourselves. And once we think for half a second, we know.

    Altogether, great film technically and creatively. I bought it all. If I was surprised that'd put it over the top to 10 territory.
    Randin Graves
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    #38
    Senior Member namelok's Avatar
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    Loved this movie! The muscle guy was hilarious, boob shot was great , we thought that she was doing something else with the phone but...


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    #39
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    Wow......freakin amazing. I cracked up the whole time because i thought she was going to use the phone as a well a ummm a....toy! Acting was great i think the female ofcourse was freaking beautiful and it cracked me up that the trainer wasnt really that big. All in all top of the charts. You did amazing.


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    #40
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    I'll echo all the thoughts already posted. It was somewhat predictable, but it didn't hamper my enjoyment of it. I love the funny side of betrayal we are seeing in some of the entries. Great stuff.


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